Beaten
by Karren
Summary: One of the MM is kidnapped and is used as a message to Ranger. What will unfold on the journey of getting back to health and will he get revenge? What will Steph's role be as this tragedy unfolds right in front of her eyes?
1. Chapter 1

I do not own anything from Janet Evanovich. I'm just playing with then. Enjoy!

I was standing by the bank of monitors shooting the shit with Santos when one of the alarms on one of the monitors went off. Santos shot up in his chair, located the screen, and began to make the necessary calls he was to make when an alarm sounded.

"You don't have to call anyone out" I told him taking his hand away from his ear "I'll go" I said

"You know you gotta have back up on a call, Ranger'll have our asses if you go alone"

"Who's out in the field near the property?"

"Uhh Junior and Zip" he said punching up the GPS's on all the trucks out in the field

"They close?" I asked pocketing a set of keys and dressing

"Five minutes away" he said punching numbers on his phone

"Tell em to meet me there, they will be my back up" I told him running down the hall to the stairs

Zooming up the ramp of RangeMan, I double times it to the warehouse that showed its alarm had been breached. When I got there I scanned the area and saw no other vehicles in the lot. Jumping from the truck I was immediately assaulted with the blaring of the alarm. I upholstered my gun, took off the safety, and slowly made my way towards the warehouse. When I got close to the front door a burning ripped through my shoulder and the world around me started to spin. The next think I knew I was falling to my knees and pairs of boots were standing in front of me and then everything went black.

There was heavy darkness all around me and I couldn't figure out what was going on. I knew something was wrong, but I just couldn't put my finger on it. I suddenly came awake when a waterfall of cold icy water rained down on me, sputtering and pitting the water from my mouth, I struggled to open my still heavy eyes.

"Wakey wakey" a voice said and I tried to rub my eyes open, but found my hands were bound and I couldn't move them. Laughter sounded around me as I began to struggle. When the severity of the situation hit me and my mind came back online, my eyes shot open and I found myself hung up like a side of beef dangling from the ceiling. I tried to kick out and make myself fall, but whatever I was hit with to knock me down was still in my system enough to cause my body to be limp and heavy, this was not good. I looked out to access the situation and saw about six men standing in a semi circle looking at me.

"You're on of Manoso's boy's" the man in the middle said. It wasn't a question just a statement. I stared at him not saying a word; he was not going to get any information on Ranger from me.

"I know you are you have his name on your chest" he said coming up to me with a grin on his lips

"RangeMan" he laughed and got close enough that I could smell his rancid breath. He grabbed my face with his calloused hands and forced me to look at him, I so badly wanted to kick out and show whoever this was what I was capable of, but my body just wouldn't co-operate.

"So the mighty Manoso has some sort of empire?" he asked with a sneer "well we will just see about that" he said

"I want you to deliver a message from me and make sure you remember my face and my name" he said leaning in close so I could see every detail in his scared face "My name " he whispered in my ear " Is Felix"

The man grinned and then stepped back into the group of men. I had no clue as to who this guy was, I had never heard of him before, but Ranger had obviously pissed him off some how. I watched as he turned to the group of men and for the first time I saw they each has a weapon of some sorts in their hands. They ranged from ball bats, two by fours, and tire irons. This was not good as it hit me I was the message to Ranger.

Do whatever you want just make sure he is still alive when you deliver him back to Manoso" the man named Felix said and then turned his back on us and left. As I heard a car speed off the men that were left began to approach and circle me. As they came closer my heart began to hammer in my chest, I was not going to get out of this without great bodily harm. I tried again to move and to lash out, but I couldn't do it. The men closed in and I felt the first blow, when I didn't cry out or scream from the hit the leader of the group sneered.

"Ohhh we got us a tough guy" he said laughing

I looked over to my side through the group of men and saw my gun belt and vest lying together on the floor. It didn't matter anyways being held up as I was they weren't really gonna be any help to me now. I looked back at the guy in front of me who seemed to be the ring leader; he still was wearing that smug look on his stupid face.

"Come on" I said to myself "you have to do something, just don't allow it to happen" I said even though I knew it was going to happen, I at least could have the satisfaction of getting in a good blow.

I calmed myself and found my center. I used everything I had and pulled myself up with my arms in the chains that held me. I swung my body, threw out my feet, and my boot connected to the guys nose sending blood squirting everywhere.

"You're gonna pay for that" he said picking himself up off the floor. He grabbed my gun and aimed it at me.

"NO" one of the other cronies yelled at him "Boss said we had to keep him alive"

The guy I kicked stared at me for another few tense moments and then he lowered the gun. I watched as his eyes narrowed and an evil grin spread across his face. He took the tire iron from the guy next to him, swung it, and connected with my leg; I felt and heard the sickening crunch.

"Kick me again" he dared

After that I received blows by the other guys in the group. For hours I was beaten and tortured, when they stopped I didn't know I had passed out somewhere from the pain. When I regained consciousness I was lying down and was being jostled. I came to realize that I was in some kind of vehicle and was being driven somewhere. When the car stopped, I was yanked out, thrown onto the hard cement, and at the same time heard the car haul ass with screeching tires and an ear piercing female scream. I tried to look up when I felt myself being rolled over, but my eyes wouldn't open.

"GET BOBBY AND RANGER NOW AND CALL 911" I swear I heard Stephanie say and heard boots running away from us.

"OH GOD OH GOD" she kept saying as my head was lifted up and placed onto something that was soft

"UHHHNHH" I groaned

"Shhhhh don't try to talk your going to be ok" she said to me and her voice hitched "Where are they?" she asked and then a thundering of boots came running in our direction along with sirens in the distance

"HELP HIM" Stephanie choked out, her voice this with tears

As hands began to touch me and the sirens came closer, I melted back into the blackness where the pain that I was in didn't exist.


	2. Chapter 2

The next time that I felt myself wake up it was so surreal. Everything around me was dark, but I could hear people talking around me and could hear the constant beep of a machine. I tried to open my eyes and move my body, but the blackness that surrounded me held me down like a thick blanket. I struggled against it for a little bit, but it was stronger than me and that was saying something, finally I grew tired and decided to conserve my energy to try and fight against it later.

"What did they say?" I heard a voice that sounded like Ranger's

"Broken right leg, broken left arm in several places, kidneys are bruised and heavily damaged, various welts, bruises, and lacerations all over his head and torso. Whoever did this knew enough on how far to go and not kill him. Docs say they went in and fixed his leg, arm, and some internal damage but he is currently in a coma and we wont know when he will come out of it or what his mental capacity will be if he does come out of it" I heard who I assumed was Brown reporting to Ranger

"But he is gonna make it?"

"We don't know the next twenty four to forty eight hours are critical. He right now is on a ventilator because he couldn't breath on his own after the surgeries" he said and I was screaming inside that I was gonna make it, but no one could hear me.

"Any idea on who could have done this?" Brown asked and I felt like I was jumping up and down shouting FELIX, but I couldn't fucking move.

"No, but they had this planned. Santos said the alarm came in and he left alone. He had Junior and Zip coming to back him up. When they got there the truck was there but he wasn't"

"Asshole should have waited on them"

"BOBBY" a female voice scolded him

"Sorry Bomber" he replied

"Your friend and co-worker is laying here beaten half to death and you call him names? I don't think that is very helpful, where is your bed side manner?"

I internally grinned thinking of how Steph called out Brown "Again I'm sorry" I heard him say. I didn't take offence, its how we all talk about and with each other. I did break the rules; I didn't wait on my back up. It was coming, but I didn't wait. I should be called to the mats for the infraction, but as you can see I'd say I already have been.

I felt the bed dip at my side and felt something cool wash over my face "What have they done to you?" Steph's soft voice asked as the cool feeling brushed across my forehead. I heard her start to hum as she continued doing what she was doing. It was odd to hear her hum, I'd never known of her to do it and I couldn't tell if it was a song she was humming or something that she had made up.

"Babe" Ranger said to her

"Don't you think he looks better now with all that dried caked on blood off his face?" she asked

"Yea" he said "Listen Bobby's gonna hang out here for a while, why don't I take you home so you can get a shower and some sleep?"

"I'll stay here with Bobby and when he leaves he can drop me off"

"Babe you're covered in blood" I heard Ranger say

Blood? Why is Stephanie covered in blood? My heart began to race as I thought that whoever had beaten me had gotten to Steph too. There would be no way that she could have endured the beating I had. The number one rule at RangeMan was to keep Stephanie safe and I couldn't because I was laying here. The beeping beside me became faster and louder and I heard heavy footsteps coming closer.

"Bobby?" Steph's worried voice sounded

"His heart rate is soaring. He's becoming agitated" he said. Damn right I was agitated, Steph was covered in blood and I can't move.

The bed dipped beside me again "Shhhhh Cal you're ok" I heard Steph's soft voice say and then felt a hand on my chest the fingers gently rubbing me. The beeping of the monitor started to slow and I felt my heart rate start to fall as well. I was confused why she was still covered in blood; she wasn't with me in the room where I was held. I had to shake it off and tell myself that id Steph is here with me now soothing me than she must be ok and two Ranger isn't going ape shit. If anything had happened to her Ranger would go crazy.

"Excuse me" I heard an unfamiliar voice say and I tensed up "I need to check on him the alarms have been going off all over the desk out there" she said and I began to feel her doing stuff to me

"His pain meds probably have started to ware off and he's probably starting to be in some pain. I'll give him another dose" she said explaining as to why she thought I had a sudden spike in my heart rate. I wanted to scream at her that, that wasn't it, but the darkness swallowed me and I heard nothing more.

Over the course of I don't know how long, I would wake up, but the darkness was always around me. I could hear everything that went on around me, I heard the voices of the ones who came to visit, and I was in on the plans that would be made by Ranger when he came in to check on me. Each day Stephanie came in and would tell me about her day and the skips she tried to pick up. She would sit next to me and replay the office gossip and then get quiet when she had told me everything she had to say. I thought she would leave, but the soft humming would start as she would do various things for me. When I finally get out of this damn coma, I must remind myself to ask her about the song she is constantly humming.

Finally after I guess several more days, I woke up like usual, but this time the darkness had lifted. I stayed still and quiet for a minute to see if it was just a dream, but I heard the familiar hum that Steph had been doing and felt her rubbing my hands.

"Don't worry Cal, its unscented lotion. I'm not making you smell all girly" she said as she rubbed my one hand, laid it back down, and picked up the other.

I slowly lifted my eyes expecting it to all be a lie, but Steph's face came into my blurry view and I could just make out her wild curls that framed her head. The light in the room was so bright that I couldn't keep my eyes open that long. My head started pounding so bad that I closed and got relief.

"Bomber" I said my voice all raspy and my throat felt on fire. I didn't think she had heard me, but the humming immediately stopped and her head snapped up to look at me.

"Cal?" she gasped dropping my hand onto my lap with a thud. Forcing my eyes open to see her again, I said her name once more.

"Bomber"

"BOBBY" she yelled shooting up from the bed nearly tripping herself to get to the other side of the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Bobby must have been asleep in the chair across the room, because when Steph called out to him and ran over I heard the sounds of the leather when someone struggles to get out of one of them recliners that are in everyone's room.

"Steph?" Bobby said in an even and calm tone. I knew that he was assessing the room for any and all possible threats to make her be in such a panic.

"He's awake" she rushed out and I heard Browns heavy footsteps cross the room. When I squinted up, I saw a dark blob hovering over me.

"Cal?" he asked watching as my eyes fluttered in the bright light of the room

"He called my name as I was putting lotion on his hands" Steph told him

"Felix" I rasped out

"No don't try to talk you had a tube down your throat that was recently taken out. Your throat is sore from that and possibly a little damaged"

"Felix" I said again

"Shhh Cal don't talk" Steph said placing her hand on my shoulder

"I'm going to alert his team that he is awake" Bobby said going out of the room

"Felix" I said turning my head and looking at Steph

"Ok" she said sitting down at my side taking my hand in hers "Don't stress, Bobby's gone to get the team of doctors that's been treating you" she said smiling at me

"Get…Ranger" I croaked out my throat on fire

"Cal you gotta stop…" she was saying, but a bunch of people rushed into my room with Bobby following behind them. Steph moved to get up but I grabbed her wrist and stopped her.

"Felix…Ranger" I said before she was ushered away

"Who is Felix?" I heard her ask Bobby while flash lights and Stethoscopes were being pushed on me

"No Idea"

"He asked for Ranger" she said and Bobby nodded his head

I laid there for over an hour watching as each doctor poked, prodded, listened, and felt me up. One wanted a round of x-rays, another wanted blood drawn, and me I wanted no part of it I had no time to sit here and wait. I needed Ranger to know about Felix before anyone else got hurt and so far I know he hadn't been called, because neither Steph nor Bobby had left the room since I woke up.

"STOP" I growled and everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at me. I painfully shifted to sit up in bed. Little white lights clouded my vision as pain licked at my ribs.

"Sir" a nurse said, but I glared at her causing Bobby to step forward

"Enough going home" I breathed out

"Sir you can't" a doctor said, but I cut him off

"Watch me" I told them fighting the pain I was in to get my leg over the side of the bed, but my other one didn't follow.

"Cal" Stephanie said coming over to me "you were injured really bad and you just woke up. You need to lay back and rest"

"You should talk" I bit out at her sweat pouring off my face from the exertion of trying to move. Steph never wanted to be in a hospital and would do or say anything to get out of one. I had to get out of here, if they weren't going to get Ranger for me then I would go to him.

"Cal we can not let you leave, you have some serious injuries"

"We have a Medic at RangeMan" I told them getting my breathing back under control. Everyone in the room looked over at Bobby knowing he was the guy I was speaking about.

Bobby stepped forward from his spot next to Stephanie. He came over, spoke to the doctors that were around my bed, and they agreed to step back and let him handle me. When he came to me I looked up at him.

"Brown" I said my good hand holding my side "you can save it, you can treat me at RangeMan"

"Normally yes, but you got more damage than normal. You've been on a ventilator, had some major surgeries, and you're still all banged up" he said

"I trust you" I told him

"Cal no" he said and began to put me back in bed; I began to struggle against him.

"Solider" he called out and I stopped and looked up at him; everyone snapped too and watched us.

"You will get back in this bed and rest, this is not good for you and you will allow them to do any tests that they deem necessary"

"You forget I out rank you" I seethed

"And I can and will drug your ass" he said back to me

"Fine" I said. Bobby smugly grinned down at me thinking he had scared me with his drug talk. I wasn't scared of him, I was just too exhausted to put up a fight anymore and the sound of lying down sounded great.

"Stephanie" Bobby called over shoulder. When she stepped up to his side he spoke to her while he helped me get back in bed.

"I'm going to have a meeting with Cal's doctors"

"Ok"

"Call Ranger" I said when Bobby herded out the doctors. One nurse stayed behind and she began to check me out. Noticing that I was in quite a bit of pain she gave me a shot in my IV to help me rest.

"He will wake up right?" Steph asked

"Yes he will after he sleeps for a while" She told her with a weary smile

"Good" Steph said coming to sit next to me "How you feel?" she asked when the nurse left

"Fine" I said feeling my bones start to relax

"Liar" she said giving a snort "I don't know why you guys think you need to be so macho all the time" she said and the door opened as the nurse came back in with a big water pitcher.

"He can have water now for his throat" she said sitting it down on my little rolly table with cups and a few straws. When she went out, Steph looked at me silently asking and I nodded my answer.

"Here you go" she said holding the straw out to me "Bobby's gonna find out when they will release you to his care" she said as I drank. The cold icy water soothed and felt wonderful on my throat.

"Good" I said my eyes starting to droop

The last thing I remembered before I fell asleep was Steph sitting the cup back onto my little table. I then felt her hand cover mine and just as I began to go under I heard her start to hum the familiar song she hummed and I turned my hand over and covered hers.


	4. Chapter 4

Hours later when I woke up again, Steph was gone, I was raised more at an angle, and Ranger and some men were huddled together talking in hushed tones. Just as I was about to alert them that I was awake, Stephanie walked in and all the guys turned their attention to her.

"Babe I thought you went home to sleep?" Ranger asked as she moved to stand with the group

"I did" she said darting her eyes quickly to each of the guys. As I watched her fidget, I recognized that she was nervous about being questioned, she was not telling us the truth.

"Babe it's only been two hours since you left, you usually sleep more than that" Ranger said to her. He was clearly not buying what she was trying to sell to them. I don't know why she is lying to us; she is so transparent we all could tell. Ranger knew this, but he wouldn't call her out in front of us.

"A phone call woke me up so I decided to see if Cal was awake yet" she said looking over at me and smiled when she saw I was awake and looking at her. Ranger gave a look over to Brown and Santos letting them know he didn't believe a word she said.

"Hey" Stephanie said coming over to sit on my bedside. With the closer look, I could see black smudges under her eyes that she covered with makeup. Why was she not sleeping?

"How are you feeling?" she asked turning her body towards me

"Sore" I told her and she nodded her head. My head was pounding and my ribs were throbbing.

"Would you like some water?"

"Yea" I said because I had a lot to tell "but I can get it" I told her knowing that I needed to try and do stuff for myself

"No I will" she said reaching for the rolly table and filling a cup full of water "here" she said holding the straw for me like she did before I went to sleep. I drank almost the whole cup of water and had to use my good hand to place it on hers to tell her that I was finished.

"Will you look at that" Santos said as all the guys were watching our interactions

"Shove it Santos" I said lying back on my pillow. Looking over at Ranger I told him that it was Felix that did this to me.

"Felix Gustov" Ranger said the muscles in his jaw tightened

"So you know him?"

"We've had a couple of meetings" he said and I understood, we all did that it was from a mission he'd went on and couldn't talk about. Even though we all were former military sans Stephanie we understood there are things we can not talk about or discuss.

"When I got on the scene something hit me in the shoulder that knocked me out. When I came to I was in chains and hanging from the ceiling. Felix came to me and he knew I was one of your guys and found it amusing that you were a successful businessman" I said and Ranger gave a tiny grin

"He came to me and made sure that I saw him and knew his name. He said he wanted me to give you a message"

"You were the message" he said

"Yea I got that when I saw the five other guys there with weapons. Felix gave the order to do whatever they wanted with me as long as they kept me alive. When he left the ringleader came up and hit me, when I didn't call out he started taunting me, I was finally able to kick him and possibly break his nose. After that he wanted to kill me with my own gun, but was reminded that I wasn't to be killed. Wanting to teach me a lesson he took a crowbar from one of the other guys and broke my leg" I told them

When I told about some more of the stuff that I remembered, Steph got up from my bed and walked behind the guys to stand at my window. I watched as Les went over and spoke to her, Steph nodded her head and wiped at her eyes.

"When Steph and Bobby told me the name you kept saying, I got Tank searching" Ranger said

"Ranger" I said and motioned my head to the couple at my window

Ranger walked over and spoke to Steph and then told Les to take her downstairs to get something to eat. He also told Les that what he missed while being gone he would fill him in when he got back. Les guided Steph to the door, but before she went out she turned to look at me and I saw a look of pain in her eyes. I knew she cared for all of us but this seemed a little more intense and I couldn't understand why.

"Ok like I said I have Tank searching to see if he can find Gustov while I'm here" Ranger said

"You can have him, but id like the guys working and taking orders from him" I told him locking eyes with him

"I can't make any guarantees. Gustov wants to take me and what's mine down because I took him down and when we find him I'm sure the men that he has with him will be by him. I can't wait or hold them for you" He said speaking of my injuries

"You have a busted leg, arm, and ribs that you know will take weeks to heal not including the cuts and bruises and internal stuff" Brown said

"Fuck" I said huffing a breath out, I really wanted to get my hands on these guys

"If he went this far to get my attention he won't wait to long to come up again" Ranger said and I understood that his will probably go down with out me.

"Do me a favor?" I asked and Ranger nodded his head

"Make it hurt"

"You got it" he said bumping fists with me. When we finished talking, Santos came to stand in the doorway of my room. He looked down the hall and then back at us.

"Does Steph have any new stalkers that we are aware of or has her Mom been bothering her again lately?" he asked us

"I haven't been made aware of anything" Ranger told him

"She hasn't said anything to me" Bobby said

"We got our food and sat down, she hardly ate anything and we all know how she loves her food. She also had to force herself to laugh at my jokes" he said looking back down the hall again

"We all have to force ourselves to laugh at your jokes Santos" I said

"No I'm serious something is off and bothering Beautiful"

"Where is she?" Ranger asked

"Bathroom" Santos said and then put up a finger to shush us, a minute later Steph walked into the room.

"Everything ok Babe?" Ranger asked her

"Yea" she said and he looked back at Les who just shrugged. Before he could say anything else to her his cell rang.

"I gotta go" he said walking out the door with Lester following

"Oh the doctors all agreed that if you allow them to run some tests and allow them to check you out then if all goes well they will let you go home and be under my care" Brown said and I nodded

"Good" I said looking back at Steph and Bobby "I want to get the hell out of here"


	5. Chapter 5

When Ranger and Lester left, Bobby told me about what was discussed in the meeting he had with the team of doctors that were treating me. He told me that if I'd be a good little boy and allow them to run some more tests then if they felt like I could they would release me into his care. I agreed to what they wanted if that meant I was closer to getting out of there. Now Steph, Bobby, and I are sitting back and waiting for someone to come and get me so this process can start.

"How long are they gonna fucking take?" I grumbled

"Don't get your panties in a wad" Brown said handing Steph a magazine

"Fuck you, you are not in this bed not able to move" I yelled pissed that no one was coming and letting me go. Bobby turned and looked at me and I knew if Steph wasn't in here he would have laid into me, she was my saving grace. There were a few tense moments where no one said a word and Steph looked back and forth between us wondering which idiot would break the stand off.

"I'll go and check at the desk" Bobby said walking out the door. I looked over at Steph who gave me a sympathetic smile; she laid her magazine down and came over to me.

"I understand what you're going through" she said and before I could stop myself my mouth opened and I let go some of my frustrations.

"You have no idea what I'm fucking going through. I hurt like hell and I can't get up" I said

"I've been in here before and you know I get into all kinds of crazy stuff" she said looking down at her lap

"And you've done anything and everything to get out of here too" I told her. Stephanie didn't say anything, because she knew it was true. She placed her hand into mine and we just sat like that until Bobby came back.

"Everything ok?" he asked looking at us

"Yea, Cal's just frustrated" Steph told him as she locked eyes with me. When she told him that and she showed me that she instantly forgave me and wasn't going to hold my anger towards her against me, I felt like such a heel.

"They're coming in a few minutes to get you there was an emergence and it backed everything up" Bobby told me and I nodded my head.

True to his word about tem minutes later two nurses came in with a tech and started unhooking the monitors that were on me. Once everything but the IV pole was off the breaks on my bed was unlocked and I was wheeled out of the room.

When we got to where the tests were to be done the tech stopped and informed Bobby he couldn't go any farther that only Hospital personnel were admitted inside.

"I'm Bobby Brown Medic of RangeMan Enterprises" Bobby said, but the tech never relented

"I'm sorry sir but no one is permitted beyond this point" he said lining my bed up and then hitting the button on the wall to open the doors "There is a waiting area over there where you can wait. We will be bringing him back out this way when we are done with his tests and then you can follow us back to his room" he said and pushed me inside. When the doors closed, I saw Bobby standing with his hands on his hips and Steph by his side watching me.

Once inside I was wheeled into a room with a very large machine. I knew exactly what it was they wanted me to do and staying still for the x-ray would not be a problem since moving anything caused me a great deal of pain. The tech that made Brown stay out side placed the bed I was on up against the table of the MRI machine. When he got me where he wanted me he called for help so that I could be placed on the table. By the time I was moved from my bed to the table I was hissing in pain and I had to remind myself not to say what I really wanted too. It wasn't their fault that I was I so much pain, no the ones that were responsible for it have went underground hiding like the cowards they are. I Guarantee you if they hadn't drugged me and hung me up it wouldn't be me that would need this damn MRI.

"Ok this is your emergency stop button. You press it if you need to stop or need help" he told me placing a bulb like thing in my hand and I nodded at him.

"I'm gonna put earplugs in your ears because it can get pretty loud in here"

"Ok" I said and he mashed them between his fingers and placed them into my ears

As I slid into the machine and it started to do its thing, I closed my eyes and thought back to the attack and how bad I want to get my hands on them for a little payback, but knowing that option wasn't going to happen. Ranger was right, the goons working for Gustov would probably be by his side when found and it would only be right to take them out too if you had the chance. It soothed me a little that Ranger was going after them because he was the best, but the beast inside of me wasn't satisfied that it wouldn't get a chance to roar.

Twenty minutes later I was slid out of the machine and placed back onto my bed. The Doctors had also ordered me to have a basic bone x-ray to see how they were healing and that entailed me to be moved again. By the time I was done with all the tests and made it back out to where Bobby and Steph were I was in a lot of pain.

"Hey you, you all done?" Stephanie asked coming to my bed. When I looked up into her eyes there where red rimmed and glittery looking.

"You ok?" Bobby asked leaning over me

"Yea" I ground out holding my ribs with my good hand

Bobby and Steph followed me as the tech that took me down for the tests took me back up to my room. He told us that as soon as the doctors had the x-rays and read them they would come and talk to us. Bobby went out for a minute and returned with a nurse who promptly gave me a shot it my IV that was in my hand.

"It's to help with the pain you're in" he said and I didn't argue. Once the drugs began to take affect and I felt the pain starting to ease off, I looked over at Steph who smiled at me. I felt like something was going on since, I had saw the black smudges earlier, Santos said she was acting off, and now her eyes looked as if she had been crying recently.

"Steph" I slurred and she came right over to me and sat on the side of my bed "You ok?" I asked my eyes closing.

"Yea I'm ok" she said and I felt her place a soft kiss on my forehead "Just go to sleep and rest Cal" she said as I drifted off

Hours later when I woke up I called out for Bobby; he jumped up from his chair and told me to be quiet. I looked up at him asking why I needed to be quiet and I watched as he looked over towards my window. Following his line of sight, I saw Steph laid out in the recliner asleep with a blanket wrapped around her.

"Have they been in?" I asked of the doctors and Bobby nodded his head

"They would like for you to stay a little while longer because of your ribs, but I told them you would be doing what your doing here at RangeMan and that I was more than equipped to handle your ass" he told me letting me know he was still in control and while Steph was asleep I didn't have her protection.

"Do I get to go home?"

"Yea but it isn't going to be easy"

"It never is" I said and he grinned knowing that, that was the truth, nothing ever came easy for Steph or for us and he would just have to deal with it.


	6. Chapter 6

When Bobby said that getting me home wasn't going to be easy he was telling the truth. When the doctors finally came in and released me into Browns care, everything started to happen all at once. Bobby called RangeMan for someone to bring me a set of clothes and then he worked out all the details on how to get me home.

"Does RangeMan even have anything to allow Cal's leg to lie out like it is?" Steph asked Bobby as the nurses were clearing all the machines away from me. When she said that it made me begin to wonder how I was getting from the hospital to the office. We both looked at Brown who had this huge grin on his face.

"We are flying the friendly skies" he said

"That's only like a five minute trip" I said

"So, you can't fit into anyone of our cars or any of the SUV's with that leg"

"Any chance you can do something about this cast when we get home?" I asked

"Next week I am going to change it over to a walking cast and have you start to get up and move around a little. You are healing, but we need those ribs to get a little bit better before we try walking and by next week they shouldn't be in a lot of that pain"

We all sat back and waited for one of the guys to arrive so I could get dressed and leave. I looked over at Steph who's recently got up from her nap and she smiled at me.

"You get to go home" she said waving her hands in the air like a little cheerleader

"Yea"

Bobby's phone rang and we listened as he put it up to his ear "ETA five minutes" he said and snapped his phone closed "Ram's on his way up with your clothes" he said and then minutes later the man himself walked through the door.

"Hey man so good to see you again"

"Yea thanks for taking up the slack" I told him

"No problem" he said handing the bag over to Bobby "Sorry to drop off and run, but Ranger and a team is leaving and it's all hands on deck" he said saying bye to all of us

"He got a hit?" I asked and everyone went silent

"Heyyyy man you worry about you and getting better, let us worry about RangeMan stuff" he said bumping fists with Bobby "Bomber" he said and left

"Brown give me your phone" I said and he shook his head

"What do you know?" I asked eyeing him

"Nothing, I have stayed mainly here by your side and you know that" he told me getting the clothes out of the plastic bag Ram left

"Give me your phone" I said again and Steph looked over at Bobby and then at me

Bobby looked over at Stephanie before talking to me "Just let Ranger do what he has to, it's all about him anyway. All you got to worry about is getting dressed, getting up, and onto that chopper that's coming for you" he said

"BULLSHIT this has everything to do with me" I yelled and saw Steph jump

"Bomber can you step out for a few minutes while I get Cal dressed?" he asked her. Steph nodded and got up, she stopped halfway to the door and looked back at Bobby and then to me.

"He'll be fine" he assured her which I thought was strange. Why did he have to tell her that or was it just because she knew Bobby was fixing to put me in my place?

When the door closed and Bobby waited to make sure Steph had the time to clear the door, his happy Medic face went cold as he looked at me. "You need to get a grip" he said

"Easy for you to say Brown you aren't the one in the bed and the ones that did this to you are out there and you can't do a damn thing about it"

Bobby crossed his arms over his chest "I do know what you want to do, but your right you cant do a damn thing about it" he said and I shot daggers at him "what are you gonna do?" he asked his voice raising an octave "you're in two fucking casts, your ribs are messed up, and you cant even stand up"

"I'd…"

"You'd what crawl up to them? Then what?" he challenged

"FUCK YOU"

"Sorry you're not my type. Now I am gonna dress you and when Steph gets back you are gonna be happy Cal got it?" he asked warning me

"Why do you care what Steph sees or hears? She knows who we are" I said

"And you know Ranger. You know who he is and what he's capable of. He wont take what's been done lightly" he said and I huffed out a breath. I want to get some type of retribution, but I can't and it was eating at me on the inside that those assholes would meet their end not seeing my face as the one who took them out.

"Let it go man" Bobby said putting the tank on over my head "It's going to be done and probably done soon if Ranger is leaving out. Just live in the fact that Ranger will get the goons for you"

As Bobby slid on a pair of shorts over my legs and up my hips a small knock came to my door. Bobby leveled a look at me reminding me to be happy when Steph came back in. Again this puzzled me and I wondered why we were putting on a front for her. Steph knew about all of our pasts and knew some of the things we've had to do in the line of duty and accepted us, why were me and Bobby going at it any different to what she has already been around since knowing us?

"I brought you some coffee" she said looking at us

"Thanks Bomber" Brown said smiling at her the happy Medic returning

"Here you go" she said placing the cup in my good hand, Bobby gave me a look behind her back.

"Thanks" I said taking a sip "Better than all that water" I told her

Bobby's phone rang a second time and Steph and I listened as he listened to what the caller was telling him. Snapping the phone closed he looked over at me and announced it was show time. Going out the door he soon returned a few minutes later with a wheelchair and a big orderly that looked just a little smaller than Tank.

"The chopper is landing" he told us "we are going to get you up and get you in the chair. It's going to hurt like hell so I'm going to give you a mild pain killer for the trip"

"No" I said stopping him

"Cal"

"No, I gotta learn to take it and deal with it and not rely on the drugs so much"

"Cal this is not going to be an easy trip. With all the movements your gonna be doing your gonna hurt like hell" he said

"Cal" a small voice said and I looked over at Steph "Please take it for the trip"

"Steph" I said. I was going to protest but the concern and fear in her eyes stopped me.

"Just for the trip then you and Bobby can discuss lowering the dosage when you get home" Bobby gave a fast look letting it be known that he didn't like being talked into something he hadn't agreed too "Your x-rays almost killed you" she reminded me

"All right Bomber" I said agreeing to the meds

Once the meds were given and the pains eased off a little the process of getting me to stand began. Bobby raised my bed up so that I was sitting straight up and then placed my legs over the side of the bed. The orderly and Bobby grabbed me under each arm and pulled me up.

"Steph chair" Brown called out and she quickly sat it in place

"Ok easy" he said as they turned me around and sat me down. By the time they got my leg laid out straight, I was huffing and sweating from all the physical movement my body just went through.

"He'll be all right?" Steph asked dabbing my face with a cloth

"Yea we are going to take him up and get him laid out in the Helicopter and head over to RangeMan" Bobby told her

"I'm ok Bomber" I told her "it's just from not moving for so long"

"Steph we have to move the hospital may have another flight coming in soon"

"OK" she said leaning over to kiss me on the forehead "Be careful" she said and Bobby hugged her

"We will you coming over?" he asked

"Yea" she said dangling her keys for all of us to hear

"Ok we'll see you there" Bobby said and began to wheel me out of the room.


	7. Chapter 7

Just as I had said and predicted to Steph and Bobby in the hospital, the ride to RangeMan only took us minutes to complete. It was so short that I thought how stupid it was to even have the chopper called out and used. As I laid there looking at the top of the copter I had a sobering thought about all the men or women that are flown home in varying degrees of injured to their homes or wherever they go for treatment.

"You ok?" Bobby yelled above the noise but then lifted his thumb up knowing there was no way I had heard him. I nodded my head and through the straps that held me down and in place, I lifted my thumb up as well.

Once we landed with a thud on the roof top of RangeMan, we waited several minutes for the blades to stop turning. We did so for Bobby to get out and come to the side I was on and help me out. After a few seconds of hopping out, I saw Brown's face over mine; he placed a hand on my chest and turned to wave someone over.

"Hang tight we'll get you out of here in a minute, how's the pain?" he asked as Rams dace appeared next to his

"No pain as long as I lay here, but I can feel and know its there"

"Got it" he said turning to Ram " I'm going to unhook him and when I got all the straps undone we are going to sit him up, assess the pain, stand him, turn him, and then sit him into a chair I "borrowed" from the Hospital"

"Ten four" Ram said and looked at me "Hey man long time no see" he said then looked over to Bobby "where's the chair?"

"Its sitting behind where I sat" he told him undoing the last buckle on the strap that was holding me "Ok on three we get him in a seated position"

"Ready to have some fun?" Ram asked wagging his eyebrows

"Oh yea" I responded taking in a breath to hold as I was moved

"Ok on my count one, two, three" he said and I was pulled up and sat with my leg sitting straight out and my other dangling from the copter. I felt so fucking useless that I had to be treated like this. When my ribs heal someone's gonna fucking pay and dearly. I am a strong man, people quaked in there shoes when they saw me coming, I will be feared again watch me.

When I got my breath back from the sharp stabs of pain from being moved, I saw everyone from the building standing around on the roof top.

"What's with the audience?" I asked noting that some key figures were missing and I knew why. I could feel my anger starting to simmer underneath the surface "Ranger comes in and out all the time and it usually goes un-noticed"

"Camaraderie am, support" Ram said and I gave a half snort "you wanna support me? Bring me the assholes that did this to me"

"ENOUGH" Bobby commanded getting the wheelchair out of the chopper "Binkie" he yelled

"Sir?" Binkie asked running up to us

"Lock the chair, but hold it as well, we are about to place Cal into it"

"Got it" he said and Bobby came to stand in front of me and placed his dark hands on my shoulders. He explained that we were going to do this just like we had done earlier in the hospital. He also told me that he was the reason for all the guys to be up here on the roof.

"I said it wasn't going to be easy to get you home, this is the easy part" he said and I looked up at him.

"You call this easy?" I asked sweat pouring from me already

"Compared to what's next, yea" he said and I tried to get a read on what could be coming

"RangeMan's elevator only goes up to seven" he said "to get up or down from here you gotta use stairs"

"Shit" I said thinking about what Brown had landed on me

"Yea so I have the guys to help carry you in your chair to seven where we then can use the elevator to get you to your apartment"

If my anger was simmering before it was boiling now and I don't think I could tap it down if I tried. The monster inside of me that was conditioned for years for combat was roaring and wanted blood. How dare they make me so fucking useless that my friends and co-workers have to carry me down several flights of stairs.

"Focus Cal" I heard as Bobby shook me from my day dream of murdering the pricks who got their jollies off by beating me. When I came to I was breathing in shallow breaths and I was seething.

"Remember let it go"

I said nothing as Ram and Bobby got me out of the chopper and got me turned around to sit in the chair. Once that was done and over with, Bobby whistled and everyone closed rank around me and lifted me chair and all. How fucking humiliating a big man like me with a flaming skull tattoo on his forehead to be carried like this.

"Slowly guys, if one goes down we all do including Cal" Bobby warned

We all got to the seventh floor without incident and now I was safely tucked into the elevator moaning in pain. Bobby assured me that since I received only half a dose of my pain meds at the hospital to help with the trip that once I was in my room he would give me the rest of it. We finally made it to my apartment and Bobby unlocked my door with a master key to wheel me in. I was pissed, tired, and in pain all I wanted to do was hit something or someone and lay down. Once he wheeled me into the room, I heard it; it was the familiar tune I'd heard as I laid in a coma for two weeks.

"Hello?" Bobby called out unaware that some one was in the apartment. Hearing the familiar hum I knew who my intruder was.

"It's me" a small voice called out identifying itself. Steph came out of the kitchen holding a dish rag.

"Steph how did you get in here?" Bobby asked

"Ella, she was cleaning for Cal and brought some food" she said her cheeks tingeing pink "I asked her if I could help and she allowed me to stay and wipe down the kitchen when she left"

Steph looked down at me and her eyes filled with pain "How are you?" she asked and I said nothing. I didn't want to say something mean to her and hurt her.

"Uhh would you like a plate of food? I'll help you if yo…" she said. With the way I was feeling I knew that if she stayed the monster would see her as an easy target and unleash the anger that I felt on her and I didn't want that.

"NO" I said a little more forceful than I wanted. "I want to just go to my room and sleep, I don't want any food"

I watched as Steph's eyes filled with fear and I kicked myself for scaring her, she looked over at Bobby and they shared this silent communication thing that I didn't understand.

"Stephanie Cal's in a lot of pain right now, I'm sure he doesn't understand or mean what and how he says things" he said placing a hand on my shoulder squeezing painfully hard to get his point across. Steph looked down at me and then back up to Bobby and slowly nodded her head.

"I understand" she said "it has been a long hard day for you" she said

"Yea I'm gonna give him some more meds and he'll probably sleep the rest of the day and maybe tonight as well"

"I'll go" she said grabbing her bag "I'll come and check on you tomorrow" she said. As she walked to me to get to my door, she looked at me sadly and placed her hand on my shoulder.

"Sleep well Cal" she said and walked out. I heard Bobby sigh and figured he was gonna ream me for being ugly with Steph, but when I looked up at him he was looking after Steph.

"What?" I asked. He acted like he knew something about her and it was bothering him.

"Nothing" he said as he pushed me into my bedroom


	8. Chapter 8

When I woke up and started to come around my inner alarm system went off alerting me that something just wasn't right. Normally in a circumstance like this I would quickly grab my gun off the table where I kept it by the bed, but with my arm being in a cast I couldn't do that. Staying quiet and perfectly still I tried to get a read on why the vibe in my bedroom was different. Calming myself down so that I could think and feel my way through on what I could do with the treat whatever it was I felt my bed move. Praying to God that it was Bobby who had come in to check on me, but knowing it wasn't since all the lights were still off, I remained still to further figure out who had breeched our air tight security system. Just as I had, had enough of the silence of the intruder, I heard sobbing coming from the direction of where the bed had moved.

"What the hell?" I asked and the sobbing stopped "Who's there?" I asked knowing if it was my attackers that did this to me they wouldn't be sitting on my bed crying.

"It's me" said a scared broken voice from the darkness "I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you"

"Stephanie?" I asked looking over to the clock on my bedside table, it read three A.M.

"Yea" she said sniffing

Getting my heart back into my chest, I gritted my teeth and did some deep breathing as I rolled onto my bad arm and clicked the lamp on so that I could see with my good one. When it came on I flopped back onto my bed breathing hard and seeing stars. Getting myself under control again I raised up as best as I could and saw that Stephanie was perched on the foot of my bed with one of her legs bent and the other on the floor. Her hair was in a messy pony tail bun thing. She had on a black tank top and a pair of pajama pants that looked to have monkey faces on them, clearly she was ready for bed, but she was in the wrong bedroom.

"Steph what's going on?" I asked her seeing that the mascara that she had on had pooled under her eyes and some had leaked down her cheeks with her tears.

"After today I had to make sure you were ok" she said swiping at one of her eyes

"I'm fine, it's three in the morning why aren't you in your bed asleep?"

"I just needed to check on you" she said moving up the bed to sit closer to me

"Are you ok? You hurt?" I asked her. Clearly she was distressed over something and something had been off with her for days now that I had been aware of.

"I'm ok" she said as she yawned. She tried to cover it with her hand, but I had already seen it. I looked her over and you could just see the exhaustion written all over her, how she was functioning was beyond me. Maybe being sleep deprived is what is making her act the way she is. It is a known fact that if you don't sleep you will act out in various ways and it is also used to be a torture device to get answers from someone you want answers from. But still I didn't understand why Stephanie wasn't sleeping. Looking at her again, I knew I couldn't have her leave the way she was. I'd never forgive myself if I sent her away and she got hurt going home, everyone in this building would want to hurt me more that I was if something happened to Steph and I could have prevented it. Maybe this is what had Bobby bothered about her when he sighed earlier.

"Steph" I said and she looked up at me "Its very late do you want to crash here with me?" I asked and she started shaking her head

"No I can't do that"

"Sure you can, I wont try anything" I told her and she blushed

"No it's not that, I just don't want to hurt you"

"You won't hurt me. You can lie on my good arm and since my leg is casted you won't hurt it if you happen to brush against it in your sleep"

"I don't think I should your ribs are hurt and …"

"Steph it's ok, really, now come on and lay down and try to get some sleep before Bobby comes in to do his check"

Steph hesitantly moved and laid out beside me. As soon as her head hit the pillow she was out like a light. I studied her face and saw all the worry lines around her eyes just fade away and she looked like she had finally found some peace. I have dreamed like all the other guys here of having Steph in my bed, but it sure wasn't supposed to be like this. I looked over at her once more before going back to sleep myself and shook my head back and forth slightly because of the odd event that occurred tonight. I closed my eyes and allowed the drugs that were still in my system and sleep to claim me.

The next time that I woke up, a sweet smell filled my nose and a weight was on my chest. Opening my eyes, I looked up to see the poof of Stephs messy bun in my face and her head lying on my chest. Knowing that I really shouldn't, but not being able to stop myself, I enjoyed the feel of having Stephanie in my arms and how she felt against me.

"Rise and shine" Bobby said walking into my bedroom ending my time indulging in my fantasy

"Uhhh… What?… Uhhh?" he asked stopping dead in his tracks when he spotted Steph in my bed

"She came to me" I told him and felt Steph begin to stir against me. She raised her head and blinked her eyes a few time until she looked at me. Stephanie looked around a second and then down to where she was laying.

"Oh God Cal I'm so sorry are you ok?" she hurried out scrambling away from me like I had some kind of plague.

"Steph" I said when she jumped off the bed and began stammering

"Your ribs, God I'm so sorry"

"STEPHANIE" I shouted at her and she stopped to look at me

"Listen to me; I am fine you did not hurt me"

"You sure? You can barely move without being in intense pain"

"I'm positive. I am a big guy and you lying on my chest did not hurt me" I said hoping it would calm her down.

"How is the pain?" Brown asked from his spot at my door. When Steph heard Bobby's voice she quickly turned her head in his direction and then realized we were not alone.

"I uhh am going out there" she pointed at the door "while you check him out" she said walking out of my room

"She came to you?" Bobby asked as he came over and handed me a plastic jug so I could relive myself in

"Yea I woke up around three and I felt something wasn't right in here and then I heard crying" I told him and he sighed again "I asked who was in here and she told me it was her"

"I had her crash here since she was already here, she wasn't in any shape to go back to her place" I said and he nodded his head

"You ok here?" he asked

"Yea don't need two people to piss in a jug" I said

"You'll be up next week and will do it regular; I just don't want you to move too much just yet"

"Yea" I said adding another humiliating thing on my list that I wanted to forget and kill the SOB's for.

"I'll be back" Bobby said

"I'm not going anywhere" I said as he went out to what I assumed was to talk to Steph. Something was going on with her and her behavior is just getting weirder and weirder and now I am convinced that Bobby knows what it is and that's why he is so bothered by it.


	9. Chapter 9

Twenty minutes later, I watched as Brown came back into the room and just by looking at him, his face, and posture you could tell that he was frustrated. Another sign that Bobby's mind was elsewhere was that he was looking me over and not saying anything. I have all the faith and confidence that Bobby can handle several things at once and will be thorough, but I knew I wasn't the only person on his mind.

"Stephanie" I said and Bobby blew out a breath and spoke before I could finish what I wanted to say.

"Is stubborn" he said turning my head to the said and pushed on the skin.

"I was going to ask if she was still here and in my living room, but ill go with your assessment" I said having dealt with and heard stories about her before.

"She went home to shower and to change" he said "does this hurt?"

"No"

"The bruises and cuts to your face are healing, I'm pleased with the progress" he said back to medic mode. I knew what ever had him bothered was now pushed to the side and the Doc was back to being focused.

"Is she ok? I've noticed a few things" I said and saw Bobby's jaw muscles twitch

"She's ok" he said and I knew not to ask anymore because Brown fully believed and lived by the patient-confidentiality code. The only times he would ever break the code was if you were a danger to yourself or to the others that you were around.

Bobby in full business mode moved his hands down to my shoulders where he felt and massaged. He then took my arm that was in the cast and moved it, he watched my face for any indication of pain when he didn't see any, and he placed it back across my mid-section and moved to my ribs.

"How have they felt today?" he asked putting his hands on each side of my torso

"When Steph came in last night, I rolled over to flip my lamp on and saw stars rolling back over, other than that I haven't moved" I told him and he began pressing over my ribs.

DAMMITT BROWN" I called out when he hit some rather tender spots

"Sorry but I have to know. I wasn't primary on your care while you were in the hospital so this exam is for my files and notes"

Forcing myself not to strangle him with my good hand, I laid back and did some deep breathing to let go of the pain and tension that was rising to the surface. Brown got through with his exam with out further causing me any pain, before he left I had him set up some pillow behind me so that I didn't have to lay down all the time.

"Remember for the next few days not to move" he said helping me to a sitting position

When Brown finally left, I was alone for the first time since being attacked. While in the coma there was a barrage of people coming in and out and when I woke up I was constantly monitored and looked after. It felt real nice to be able to lay back, be by myself, and think. While being good to be alone to collect yourself it was also dangerous, it gave me time to remember and when I remembered the anger inside of me rose.

It was almost three weeks ago that I was kidnapped from a bogus break in and beaten as a message to Ranger. I had no idea what that message was since it involved a time that Ranger was in the wind on some secret mission and he couldn't discuss the affiliation to the man that ordered the attack. What I do know is the beating I took left me in a coma and on a ventilator for two weeks and now every time I go to sleep, I wonder if I will wake up I will I be back in that dark oblivion that I was in. Thinking on what all had happened to me and then on the guys responsible a knock came to my door.

"Cal"

"What" I growled out having my alone time interrupted and I was pissed replaying the past. I watched as Stephanie walked in carrying a tray, she walked over to me, sat on the edge of the bed, and placed the tray next to me. I looked down at the tray and saw a bowl of soup, a sandwich, and some fruit.

"I figured you had to be hungry by now, you haven't really eaten anything in a while" she said looking down at the food.

"I'm not really hungry" I told her. Ever since getting a lot of the meds for my pain my stomach has been queasy and nauseous and it didn't feel like food would be a good thing to put on it.

"You have to eat or you'll get sick" she said looking at me. When Steph put her hair behind her ear, ii saw a red scrape across her cheek.

"What happened?" I asked my blood beginning to boil thinking of someone hurting her

"What?" she asked searching my face

"Your cheek what happened?"

"Oh" she said bringing her fingers up to touch the mark I had seen "just a little disagreement with a skip that I talked to before I came back over"

"You had one of the guys with you right?" I asked knowing if she had she wouldn't have been hurt and if she had the skip was hurting far more than she was. Stephanie looked off and I knew the answer.

"Dammit Stephanie how may times has Ranger preached to you about proper back up?" I asked "do you want to end up like me or worse?"

She looked at me, her eyes going wide; I had scared her with my anger. I was wrong in going in with out my back up even though they were on their way. If I had waited a few minutes more I wouldn't have been in the predicament that I was currently in. Ranger had preached to me over and over to always have back up and I did what Steph had just done.

"I feel so fucking useless in this damn bed" I said knowing I could have been a back up to her.

"I'm so sorry Cal"

"You didn't do this"

"No, but…" she began to say and then went silent. Stephanie got this far away look in her eyes as if she were watching something play out. I watched as a tear fell down her cheek and began to wonder what she was going to say before stopping and why she was crying.

"Stephanie" I said and she looked at me with so much pain in her eyes. Steph wiped her eye and shook her head as if to rid her mind of what she was seeing.

"I just want you and us to be safe out there" I said

"How are you feeling?" she asked changing topics

I sighed and gave her a small smile "Better" I said and she nodded. In a blink of an eye the sad emotional Steph was gone and the Steph we all know and love was back. I really needed to talk to Brown and he really needed to tell me what was going on. He was just gonna have to break his code.


	10. Chapter 10

Bobby never did break his code no matter how hard I tried to persuade him or reason with him. Over the next few days he never relented no matter how I told him that I knew and had seen something off with Steph.

Stephanie however was back to her old self which confused the hell out of me, she also appointed herself as my new best friend. Ever since she was roughed up a little bit by one of her skips, she has stayed with me in bed most of her day. When I asked her why she was spending all her time with the likes of me, her eyes softened and told me that it was because I was all alone and bedridden. I just wonder if it was just that or was there something more to having my new bed mate?

Today she was camped out in her usual spot next to me propped up by pillows under her back. I looked over and was suddenly struck at how beautiful she actually was. My eyes landed on her feet which were bare and her toenails which were currently painted red. I moved my eyes up her legs and peeked at the thighs that were not covered by her shorts. When I looked up I was mesmerized by her face as she sat by me chewing on the eraser end of a pencil she had brought in with her so that we could do the crossword in today's paper.

"Cal" Steph said looking at me the curls in her pony tail swaying with her head. She was staring at me with a confused look on her face.

"Sorry, what?" I asked

"You ok?" she questioned "you aren't in any pain are you?"

"No Bomber I'm fine" I told her, in fact my ribs were starting to feel better and I was able to move small amounts now.

"I read the next clue and you didn't say anything. I thought you were thinking on it, but when I looked over you were staring at me" she said. Damn I had been busted thinking of her.

"Sorry, what was the clue?" I asked. Steph looked at me for a moment then picked up the folded newspaper in her lap.

"A six letter word for a fruit that's also a color" she read

"Orange?" I asked

"Yea it fits" she said writing the word down into the puzzle "you are really good at this" she said smiling over at me her blue eyes going wide and sparkling. No where to be found was the scared, sad Stephanie that I had seen the last couple of days.

"I like puzzles"

"Well that's good considering you have to figure a lot of them with the kind of work you do for a living"

"I've not been doing a lot of that lately" I said. I haven't been able to get up out of bed and be a productive member of RangeMan. I watch as Steph laid the paper down in her lap.

"Cal" she said placing a hand on my cheek demanding me with out saying so to look at her "you are alive and very lucky to be. I don't know what we would have done if we we'd lost you" she said water pooling in her eyes.

"Come here" I said patting my chest. Steph scooted down in bed and laid her head on my chest "I didn't mean to upset you Bomber. It's just hard to lay here day in and day out and watch all the guys go and come knowing that they could use you and need you and you can't do anything. And it's hard as hell to not be able to make the people pay who did this to you"

"Ranger and the guys are on it" she said her faith in them and loyalty to us never wavering

"Yea" I said dejectedly "They're on it"

Steph and I laid there for a while in silence, each in our own thoughts. It felt so nice to lay here and hold her in my arm. I like the rest of the guys loved Steph and let my mind go to places it shouldn't. With my mind wandering, I felt Stephs fingers drawing random patterns across my chest as she hummed. I laid there and just listened to her sweet voice hum a tune to an unknown song that was now very familiar to me and obviously to her.

"What are you humming?" I asked, my voice breaking the silence. Stephs hand stopped moving and so did the song.

"What?" she asked lifting her head and looking at me

"That song what is it?" I asked "I heard you humming it while I was in the coma and now a few times later" I told her and Stephs cheeks went bright pink as she looked down.

"Steph?" I asked placing a finger under her chin raising her head

"You heard it?"

"Yes at first I found it strange hearing it from you because I never heard you do it before, but later I grew to like hearing it"

"My mom hated it because when I was younger I would hum while I ate. It sorta was a habit" she said

"Really? I have never heard you do it before and we have worked together a lot of times"

"I don't do it much now; I broke myself of doing it. The only times I do it is if I'm really stressed or really nervous"

When Steph told me that she only hummed when she was nervous or stressed, I found it odd. In her line of work you would assume that she would be nervous a lot, but she never hummed from what I could tell. I could see her doing it while I was in the coma because they didn't know when I'd wake up or how I'd be, but cleaning my kitchen and now here with me I didn't understand.

"Steph do I make you nervous?" I asked thinking that was why she did it just now

"No not at all" she said "I feel very safe with you and all of the guys here"

"You hummed while laying with me" I said and watched as the meaning hit her

"OHHH GOD CAL NO, I guess I do it as a comfort thing too. Something to calm me, you know like a calming affect" she said her eyes worried and darting all over my face.

"Ok" I said hopefully calming her down

"I could never be afraid of you" she said and I smiled. She might not be afraid of me, but I know the first time she saw me she was a little uneasy.

"I can be scary especially with my tattoo" I teased, but not really. If it came down to it I could make grown men piss their pants and be proud of it, Steph knew this.

I watched as Steph rose up and came face to face with me, she smiled "I love your tattoo" she said kissing my forehead. When she pulled back and came back down to me we were very close. I don't know why I did it, I guess chalk it up to a moment of insanity, but I lifted my casted arm and touched her cheek with my fingers. Stephs eyes closed and her breathing changed from normal to more ragged, I could feel her heart thumping against me. I don't know which one of us leaned in, but when I closed my eyes I was millimeters from her mouth. Just as I was about to kiss her loud knocks came to my bedroom door causing Steph to jump, look at me with wide surprised eyes, and she jumped off the bed.

"DINNER" Brown called out walking in with a tray "I intercepted Ella on her way in and told her I'd deliver to the patient" he said noticing Stephs swift movements

"Everything ok?" he asked the both of us

"Yes" I said disappointed, but unsure what was fixing to happen between us. I knew what was going to happen, but what I didn't know was what would it do to us or mean.

"Steph?" he asked and I glanced over at her and she looked like she had just been caught making out by her father.

"Fine" she said running her hand in her hair. Steph looked over at me and all I could do was smile a tight lipped smile at her.

"Uhh I'm going to go and let you guys visit" she said going to the door

"Your dinners here as well" Bobby told her

"Save it or let Cal have it for a snack before bed" she said and Bobby looked at me with his eyebrow raised. Stephanie giving up food was unheard of.

"Cal I'll uhh see you sometime tomorrow" she said grabbing her shoes and leaving

"Don't look at me" I told Bobby when he turned back around from watching Steph, he crossed his arms over his chest, and gave me a look.


	11. Chapter 11

The next morning I woke up like clock work at five A.M. As I was rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I noticed two things, first I wasn't flat on my back like I have been the last couple of weeks due to my injuries and second a soft knock came to my door.

"Yea?" I asked as watched as my door slowly opened, Steph came in dressed in the same type of clothes she had when she came to me the last time this early. I'm guessing this must be her typical pajama bed time ware.

"You awake? I took a chance since you guys like to get up early"

"Just woke up are you ok?" I asked her. There are a few things we all knew about Stephanie Plum. She is beautiful, has a wonderful smile, accepted us like no other, loves her sweets and food, and she loves her sleep. Lately however I've noticed her sleep isn't what is used to be, she is allover the place with it and seeing her up anytime before ten was a warning that something was wrong. I watched as she closed my door and stood by it, her hands were clasped together and she looked at her feet.

"I couldn't sleep, I've been up all night" she softly said, so soft that I almost didn't hear it. I rolled over onto my back and then over onto my other side to flip the lamp on. The last time I did this it caused me to see stars, but this time it was just mild discomfort.

"Please don't" her voice rang out as my fingers closed around the turn dial on the lamp

"Steph?"

"Please leave it off" she said and I let out a breath, rolled back over, and stacked some pillows up behind me so that I could sit up in bed. When I got myself situated, I looked over at Steph who was still rooted to her spot at the door.

"Want to talk about it?" I asked and she nodded her head at me

"Come on over" I said pulling the covers back to allow her to come get in the spot she's claimed in my bed

I watched as Steph took the necessary steps that took her to my bed, but instead of sliding in next to me where she usually was, she perched herself on the foot of the bed like when I had found her in here crying before.

"What do you want to talk about Bomber? Has whatever been bothering you gotten worse or is it something else?" I asked and her head snapped up looking at me horrified

"How" she started but quickly stopped herself.

"We almost" she said motioning the rest with her hands "Yesterday"

Oh so that's what's bothering her and causing this distance between us right now. I had assumed that we'd talk about what almost happened, but I didn't think it would be first thing this morning.

"You're not ok with it?" I asked her feeling bad that I'd almost crossed a line with her if it wasn't something she's wanted. I would never force a lady to be with me unless she was under my protection and was just being stubborn and not do something I had told her to do and compromising our safty.

"I'm not not ok with it"

"Steph?"

"What I mean is we are both adults we can kiss each other if we wanted too, but do you see me as anything other than a friend and what would it do to us if we had kissed?"

Ahh now I see what's kept her up all night. If she had all that rattling around in that little brain of hers then sleep would not be easy. I'd had the same thoughts as her, but I'm trained differently then she is to deal with emotions and emotional things. I can sleep amongst the chaos.

"Stephanie please come up here" I said patting her usual spot. She hesitated for a moment, but slowly started to crawl up and lay next to me.

"Now listen, I don't know why I almost kissed you last night, but I don't think it was wrong. I like you and find you attractive, but I just think it was the moment and when you kissed my head and came back down to me you were just there and I was just there and yea" I told her and she nodded " Why don't we just admit it almost happened, don't deny it, and stay friends ok?"

"I'd like that" she said and I could see an instant change in her, she was more relaxed and at ease.

"Good" I said leaning down and kissing her on the forehead. When I pulled back her eyes opened and she smiled up at me. The urge to kiss her was there again, but friends don't kiss other friends.

"Cal buddy you up?" I've got some good news for you" Brown said coming through my apartment "How would getting that cast offff…" he said coming into my bedroom seeing Steph once again in bed with me.

"Bomber this is getting old" he said and I watched anger fill her eyes. I was shocked she was displaying anger towards Bobby, she and he have always been close. Out of all the guys here excluding Hal, Brown was the more sweet natured than the rest of us.

"Do you need to see him right away or can it be delayed for a few minutes?" she asked in a clipped tone.

"You good or do you need to use the bathroom?" he asked me

"I'm good till you get back"

Steph slid out of bed and grabbed Bobby by the wrist leading him out the door and into my living room. I have seen Steph mad before, but never really towards us. Oh she's been irked if Santos would tease her to much or if he came on to her too much but this was something new and I wanted to here what was going on. Scooting closer to the edge of my bed that was closest to my door, I strained my ears to hear the raised hushed voices.

"I can't believe you told Cal what I told you in confidence" I heard Steph say and I could picture her with her arms crossed over her chest

"I didn't say anything to him" Brown said back to her

"Then how does he know that something has been going on with me? I told you when he went and did his last set of x-rays. I thought you were my friend" Now I knew that when I had looked up into her eyes when they wheeled me out was when she had spoken to Bobby. It was then that her eyes were red rimmed and watery.

"Stephanie Cal's RangeMan, he is observant and you are showing signs on everything and he has noticed"

"No I'm not, I've been careful to keep him from not knowing anything" she said and I rolled my eyes, forever in denial.

"Really? You have black circles under your eyes that your make up isn't hiding, Your eyes are giving away how you truly feel when your with him, and if that hasn't done it you came into his room in the middle of the night and he caught you crying on his bed" he told her "And I still will give you something to sleep if you will take it"

"No I don't need it"

"Steph you are here again and it's only after six"

"It has nothing to do with that" I heard her say. Now I knew she is bothered by something and has confided in Brown about it. What I don't know is what it is that is troubling her so much.

"Then what then?" Bobby asked

"Nothing its over" I heard her tell him

"We done here?" he asked

"You didn't tell?"

"No Steph I didn't tell, I'd never betray your trust" he said and I knew that was the truth. I had tried to get him to tell me what's been wrong with her and he refused to say anything.

"Ok" she said stopping the talk

"You're our friend Steph, we'd never internally hurt you" he told her

"I know just Cal caught me by surprise and I had only told you"

"I understand"

"Tell Cal that I'll come by later?" she asked

"Certainly" he said and there was silence. I imagined them hugging or giving each other meaningful looks coming to an understanding. When I heard my front door closing, I moved back over onto my side of the bed and watched as Bobby came back in.

"So you said something about good news and my cast coming off"


	12. Chapter 12

The news that Bobby had for me was that since I was able to move a little now he was going to up the removal of the cast that was on my leg and replace it with one that would allow me to get up and walk. I would be getting some of my independence back.

"When can we move on this?" I asked eagerly wanting to do it

"Some time after lunch" Brown said "I have some things I have to take care of and a pile of paperwork that I have to sign off on and then I'll have the time to devote to you"

"One thing" I said getting his attention

"What's that?"

"Before you put the new cast on I would love to shower"

"We will see you still have two weeks left on wearing the casts. You really shouldn't put a lot of weight on the leg with out one, but it's a possibility that you can" he told me. Bobby helped me get through my morning routine and made his way to the door, before he left he turned back "Steph said she would be by sometime later"

"All right" I said getting myself situated in bed. He really didn't have to tell me about Steph, I had heard what she asked of him when I was eavesdropping on their argument. Bobby however didn't know that and did as he was asked.

A few hours later Ella came in to give me lunch. I thanked her and she told me that I seemed to be feeling better. I told her what Bobby had said about getting a new cast and it made her happy to hear that I was healing and would be able to walk soon. She wished me all the best and bustled out of the room to go do what it is she does.

About an hour later a knock came to my door, Bobby had came in to get the process started. He pushed the wheel chair over to my side of the bed, locked it, and helped me to get up and into it. Brown wheeled me out into my living room one I hadn't seen since I'd been injured, I had him stop long enough to scribble a note to Steph and taped it on my door as we made our way through.

One we were inside of Bobby's exam room, I tried as best as I could to help get myself up on his exam table. I found out that being stuck in bed like I have has really worked on my strength. As soon as I can I am going to hit them gym to get myself back to the level that I once was. Brown came over to me and handed me a pair of safety glasses and a blanket just incase some of the plaster from my cast started to fly as he cut at it. He took a small compact saw, turned it on, and began to cut down my leg Twenty minutes later, Brown shut the saw off and removed the cast off of my leg.

"Looking good" he said dropping the cast to the floor

"The first thing I wanted to do as I felt the cast come off was move my leg and flex it, but Brown stopped me and warned me that I was just healing and that the bone was still to fragile to move. I then asked him about the shower that he said that I might be able to have and watched as he placed his arms across his chest.

"If I allow you to take one you have to take one sitting down, I don't want to much stress on that leg and as soon as you get out I put the cast back on" he said and I agreed. I didn't care if I had to lie down or stand on my head to take a shower; I just wanted and needed one badly.

"I have a small shower room in here for when the guy I'm working on is covered in shit and needs to clean off so I can get a better look at the wounds" he said helping me into my chair and wheeling me into the little shower room. He was not kidding when he said it was little, it was a very tiny room.

I watched as Bobby placed a white plastic seat into the shower and turned back to me. I thought he would leave and let me have some privacy to take my clothes off so that I could shower, but he just stood there looking at me.

"Thank you, I'll be out in a bit" I said, but he didn't move. I looked up at him and he smirked.

"You're not leaving are you?"

"Nope, cant" he said " you could fall while in there and then how would that look and sound that the Medic left and allowed patient to be alone and he fell resulting in more injuries?" he asked

I sighed and began taking my shirt off and then I stripped my shorts off that I had been wearing. Bobby came over, bagged my arm up and tapped it with some water proof tape so I wouldn't get it wet and ruin it in the shower.

"Why such a prude all of the sudden?" he asked helping me up and into the shower where I sat down on the seat.

"Usually when I shower I'm alone"

"Not in the gym after you work out and I know you weren't alone in the service"

"Ok Brown I get it"

"I've seen it all man" he said and I turned on the water

"Even Steph?" I asked wondering how much he had seen of her, since he had treated her several times.

"No, I haven't her" he said and we left it at that

The shower felt great, the water coming over me felt very good. I finally felt clean after all I'd been through. When I turned off the water, Bobby stepped in with a large towel and handed it to me. I dried off the best that I could, placed the towel around my waist, and had Bobby help me back to the wheel chair.

"Feel better?" he asked as we went back into the exam room

"Yes" I told him. Bobby handed me a t-shirt to wear and told me he had some sweats for me, but would rather I wait to put them on until after he put the new cast on. Slipping the shirt over my head, Bobby pulled the bag and tape off my arm and helped me to get back up on the table.

I watched as Brown rolled over a table with a large tub of water and strips of cloth. I was glad that my new cast wasn't going to be all plaster like the last one was. When Bobby was finished and my cast had dried, he tossed me a pair of pants and told me to see how I liked the cast. I slowly slid off the table with his assistance and stood for the first time in nearly a month, I undid the towel that was still around my waist, let it fall to the floor, and slowly slid the sweats up with my good hand. As I stood there I noticed the lettering running down the side of my leg spelling out RangeMan. I remembered Felix getting in my face telling me he knew I was one of Ranger's boys because his name was on my chest. I could feel my heart rate increase as I remembered my kidnapping.

"Cal bud you ok?" Bobby asked getting up from his stool

"Yea" I said feeling the monster inside of me rear its ugly head as memories rolled through my brain. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't remember or am reminded, but just today it seems to be harder to control.

"You sure your ok you're looking a little pale there"

"I'm fine" I said and tried to reign myself back into control

"All right lean back against the table then" Brown said

"What, why?"

"I need to cut the pant leg off of your sweats so the cast can be free" he said coming towards me with a pair of medical shears. I watched as Bobby pushed the scissors into the cloth of the pants and started to cut.

"YO Watch it" I said as he came around the front near my stuff. I know I probably said it a little rough, but I was still trying to reign it in.

"Relax" He said tossing the leg of the pants onto the floor "There try it out"

I took a few hesitant steps and was again reminded of just how weak I really was. I'd lost a lot of my strength being bedridden all this long. I turned and walked a little bit towards the door and heard a gasp, looking up I saw Steph standing there with her hands over her mouth.

"OH MY GOD CAL YOUR STANDING AND WALKING" she called out coming into the room

"Yea Bomber, I got some of my life back. I won't have to stay in that bed all day now" I told her and saw her smile fall a little and her eyes fill with sadness

"That's great" she said nodding her head, but I knew something was swirling in that head of hers. She thought she was hiding it, but I had seen it.

"Bobby a minute" I asked over my shoulder

"I'll go wipe down the shower room" he said leaving us. When Bobby closed the door, I walked up to Steph and looked down at her.

"It's so wonderful that you can walk again" she said smiling up at me

"Steph what's wrong?" I asked

"Nothing" she said. Yes she was smiling and if you didn't see the fall of her smile you would believe she really was ok, but her eyes they were so sad.

"You're lying" I said staring at her "Please don't lie to me" I whispered into her ear. Steph looked up at me and sighed.

"I wont be needed now that you are able to be up and around" she said to me and I knew it was hard for her to admit it and tell me the truth.

"Steph" I said wrapping my good arm around her and pulling her to me "I'll still need you, I still only have one good arm" I told her and she looked me over.

"That's true" she said. I ran my good fingers over her cheek and she closed her eyes and smiled at the touch. When she opened her eyes she lowered her hand and linked her fingers with mine. I know we said that we were just friends, but with her being sad thinking she couldn't be with me anymore since I was mobile and now the way she just did when I touched her and now we are holding hands, sure felt like more than friends.

"Everyone good?" Brown asked popping his head out of the shower room door

"Yea we're good" Steph said looking up at me

"Good now get out, I need to clean up" he said handing me a four footed silver cane and gave Steph my wheelchair. He told us that he knew the cane was going to be used wrong, but with the different sided breaks that I had, we had to work with what we had. Brown also told us that I would probably tire fast and wouldn't walk long due to being in bed all this long, so to use the chair when I had too. We both nodded that we heard and understood.

"Shall we?" I asked Steph, she nodded her head and followed me back up to my room.


	13. Chapter 13

Stephanie opened my door and then came back around and wheeled me into my apartment. Bobby had be right when he told us to take the wheelchair saying that I would probably tire soon from being on my feet, I had made it to the elevator when I told Steph that once it came I would need to sit, she nodded her head and when the door opened she went in, turned the chair around in front of her, and I went in and sat down.

"You'll get your strength back soon" she said as the car lifted us up to the fourth floor.

"I think it's gonna be a long time and I have a lot of work ahead of me to be back" I told her thinking about what all I'd have to do once the casts come off.

Before the attack I was a healthy, vibrant, strong man. I was good at what I did and loved it. I love working here for Ranger and with the guys; there is no other place I'd ever see myself at. But now I am reduced to a shell of the man I once was. This attack has changed me forever, changed who I am, I just can't up and run out to help the guys and back them up when they need me, I have to sit back and learn how to make it through the day with only one good hand. When Steph wheeled me into the living room, I got up and went over to stand at my window.

"Cal don't you want to sit or maybe go lay in bed to rest?" Steph asked me coming to stand next to me at the window.

"I failed" I said placing my forehead against the window pane looking down at the ground below.

Steph's head snapped towards me "you failed? You haven't done anything to fail"

"That's right; I didn't do anything to stop them"

"Cal you couldn't have, by what I've heard and know you were drugged and chained. You couldn't have done anything even if you wanted too"

"Look at me; I'm a big strong guy that can make people stop dead in their tracks by just looking at them. Everyone knows us and fears us, we are asked to do the darkest and dirtiest stuff because no one else has the balls to stand up and do it"

"Cal" Steph said placing herself in front of me, her hands slid up my chest. "You had no control over the situation; you were drugged, kidnapped, and chained up. You couldn't do anything to stop this"

"I was bigger than all of them, I could have taken them"

"Cal you were incapacitated. They got the jump on you and there wasn't a damn thing you could've done. You were a message to Ranger and if it wasn't you who went out to that site that day it would have been someone else, maybe even me" she said and our eyes locked

"God Steph no" I said pulling her to me, crushing her against my body. I knew there was no way she would have ever survived the blows that I had taken. As I held her the image ran through my head of Steph being in my place, my heart ached imagining her in the coma, beaten up, and bruised.

"I feel like I've failed myself, Ranger, and RangeMan" I finally said

Stephanie picked her head up from my chest and looked at me "No Cal you've not failed them. They all love you and respect you. Bobby has been by your side ever since you were found and Ranger and the guys are out there somewhere exacting revenge on them for you"

"Its not just for me, Felix wanted Ranger's attention and got it through me"

"But you're a huge part of it and they don't take it lightly that one of theirs was hurt" she said placing a hand on my cheek.

"And what about you Steph?" I asked and her brows knitted together

"Me?" she asked

"You've named Bobby and how the others have been by me or getting revenge for me, but you left yourself out of the equation" I told her, Steph backed up from me a few inches and I watched as her eyes dropped to the floor.

"My friend was hurt and is in need" she said

"Is that all?" I asked seeing her start to act funny when the attention and the spotlight was turned on her.

"Yes" she said her whole demeanor changing before my eyes. She looked up at me and smiled while bouncing on the balls of her feet. Steph padded happily moving away from me and into my kitchen "I'm starving are you hungry?" she asked

"I could eat something light, I think there's some chicken soup left over if you'd like" I told her allowing her to change the subject. I had seen I had hit a nail on the head by asking her about always staying near me and like she has said I was good at solving puzzles and I intend to figure Steph's out.

"I'm going to the bathroom" I told her as she brought the soup out and found some bread. Steph nodded as she prepared us a bowl. I hobbled my way to the bathroom and had a since of happiness wash over me that I walked into the room and could use it alone and all by myself.

As I finished and went over to the sink to wash my hands, I look into the mirror for the first time since being attacked. I examined my face and saw that the bruises were fading and the cuts had pretty much healed, all that was left were some angry red lines that I knew would probably scar. Looking a little closer at all the cuts, I noticed something that made my blood boil, one of them angry red lines went right across my forehead.

"THOES SONS OF BITCHES" I roared rubbing and pulling at the skin on my forehead.

"Cal" Stephanie said as she began knocking on the door "Cal are you ok?"

"No I am not ok" I said moving closer to the mirror. The door opened and Steph peeked around it probably wondering if I was decent. Seeing me at the mirror she came to me.

"What's wrong?" she asked searching my image reflected in the mirror

"Why didn't someone tell me?" I asked

"What?"

"This" I said turning around and pointing to my forehead

"Sorry I don't understand"

"There is a cut going through my tattoo and some of the ink is gone, it's all jacked up" I told her. You don't mess with a man's tattoo even if it was done one drunken night with a bunch of guys on leave. However it got it, it was there and it identified me. It was who I am and I used it to scare the shit out of people and now with other parts of me it's gone.

"We were more worried about you Cal, getting better and coming back to us" Steph said. "We never thought of it" I looked at her and the monster inside of me told me to attack, another thing was taken from me, and I needed to get payback. I looked at her again and realized it was Steph and she hadn't done anything to me and didn't deserve a blow up.

"Come on" she said taking my hand "I have the soup ready and then we can get online and look up tattoo parlors and see what can be done to fix your head"

I nodded my head and followed her back into the living room, I was still pissed, but I just swallowed it down and let it be for now. My tattoo would also go on the long list that I had for when I could beat the shit out of someone or something. By the time I made it into the room, I was huffing and puffing and my legs ached for bearing my weight for so long. Making it as far as my chair, I sat down and let out a tired breath.

"You don't want to sit on the couch?" Steph asked sitting down the bowls of soup on my coffee table.

"As far as I could go" I told her rolling my chair up to the table

When Steph sat down and began to eat her soup, a knock came to my door and we watched as Brett walked in. I was trying to get some soup on my spoon and up to my mouth, but with only one hand it wasn't turning out so well. With my dominate hand being casted, every time I tried with the spoon it kept spilling. Brett came over and sat down next to Steph and nodded at her.

"Hey dude" he said and I looked over at him

"Brett" I said trying again to get some soup, but dropping most of it onto my carpet.

"Here" Steph said pulling a chair over in front of me. I looked over at Brett embarrassed to be like this "Let me help you"

"I'm not a baby Steph I can eat"

"I know" she said holding the bowl and spooning some up to me

"Hey" Brett said while watching as Steph fed me and me feeling so uncomfortable "I came to tell you that Ranger has called in and is coming in soon"

"He's coming back?" I asked

"Yea said sometime late tomorrow"

"It's over" Steph said knowing like I do that Ranger wouldn't come home unless the mission was accomplished.

"Yea its over" I said knowing that the ones that did this to me were gone and I could no longer exact revenge and let my face be the last the saw. First my tattoo, then Brett watching me, and now this.

"Well I've gotta go" Brett said looking at his watch and jumping to his feet causing Steph to turn her head to look at him and spill the spoon of soup in my lap.

"JEEZE STEPH" I yelled my anger coming out. There was no stopping it now, it was out.

"I'm so sorry Cal I was just trying to help"

"Well don't, I don't need your help and I don't need you" I said taking the bowl out of her hands and throwing it across the room where it hit the wall and shattered. Brett moved forward as he should have to protect Steph. Tears fell down her cheeks as she jumped up and ran from my room, Brett following her. Minutes later, Bobby stormed into my apartment, his eyes on fire looking at me, I could hear Steph in the hallway crying.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GONING ON?" He demanded " I was coming home to get some rest when I see Steph run out of here crying and shaking" he said and I glared at him, at this point in time I didn't care and was blinded by the overdue rage that had built up inside of me. I didn't care what I was saying or doing.

"I don't need her; I can take care of my self. I always have and always will"

"You fucking asshole you don't get it do you?" he asked "have you ever thought about why she's always been around here and around you so much?"

"Don't care"

"Well let me tell you and maybe you will" he said "Steph was the first on the scene when you were found, she was the one that had us alerted that you were there, she stayed with you and begged you to hold on, at the hospital she wouldn't leave your side no matter how much Ranger or I reasoned with her to leave, she was covered in your blood, but she stayed right there. You think what you've been through has done stuff to you well think about what effect seeing that and being witness to it has done to her" he said and left my apartment leaving me alone to brood.


	14. Chapter 14

After Brown had left my apartment, I got up, closed the door, locked it, and sat myself down on my couch. The anger over how my life was going was still there, but I felt like it waning as it was starting to go back to normal. I looked over the back of the couch to the wall where I had thrown the bowl, soup ran in little streams down the wall and shattered pieces of bowl were everywhere on the floor. The crash of the bowl against the wall had felt good, but it was gonna take a lot to get out all that I had eating away at me.

Once I sat there and calmed, thoughts of what Brown had said about Stephanie entered my mind. He had told me stuff that I'd been trying to figure out for a while without hurting the trust Steph had put in him.

"She was the first one on the scene" he said and I thought back to that night. I haven't really talked about the kidnapping or the beating to anyone other than Ranger and Lester who were in my hospital room. When I began telling about the beating, Steph got up from my bed and walked away form everyone. When I was tossed or thrown out of my captors car, I can't remember a lot but I do remember a females voice that seemed familiar to me and it was screaming my name. I thought the voice sounded like Steph, but I wasn't sure of anything but the pain.

"She was the one that alerted us that you were there" Brown said and I searched my mind again and remembered hearing her yelling to go get Ranger and Bobby now and to call nine one one.

"And she begged you to hold on and that help was on the way" he said and I remembered being in tremendous pain laying on something very cold and very hard and then felt my head being lifted and placed on something warm and soft as the voice encouraged me to hang on that help was coming as the sound of boots thundering towards us filled the air and sirens were blaring in the distance.

"Shit" I said realizing it was Steph that was there, she was the voice I kept hearing. What she must have seen and what she must have heard, I can't even imagine what it must have been like for her. She must have been the one to lift my head and then by doing that got my blood on her and that how she was covered. A lot of the questions about her weird behaviors were answered, but a lot of other pieces like how was she the first one on the scene were still missing. I needed to talk to her and I needed her to talk to me.

Getting up, I felt horrible about what I had said and done to her. I never meant to hurt her; I had on several occasions stopped the attack when I was angry because it was her. I know she didn't mean to spill the soup in my lap; it was just the straw that had broken the camels back. I am sorry for what I'd done and I needed to go and find her. I knew with her being so upset, Brown would not have let her leave the building, opening my door I walked up the hall and knocked on his door.

"What?" Brown growled when he opened his door

"Is Steph here?" I asked. Bobby crossed his arms over his chest and stared at me from his spot in the middle of his doorway. Steph is close to most of the core team and if she had to stay here I knew it would be with one of us. With me being the one who had hurt her and Ranger and Santos gone, thank God, Bobby was the only one of the team left she could go too. Figuring he was my best bet, I'd come to him.

Brown stared at me and then looked me up and down "I gave her a sleeping pill about ten minutes ago; she finally agreed to take one"

"Is she still awake, can I see her/" I asked. Bobby sighed and I waited for him to tell me to get lost, but surprisingly he stepped aside and motioned me in.

"You upset her casts or not, I'll kick your ass" he said closing his door "She's in my room"

I nodded my head telling Bobby that I had heard him loud and clear, he had every right to threaten me. When I got to his door, I turned back and looked up the hall to see Bobby standing at the end of his living room looking at me, letting out a slow breath I opened the door and went inside.

"Steph" I said seeing her curled up in the middle of Bobby's bed. Before I had a chance to do or say anything, a wave of jealously washed over me because Steph had been practically living in my bed with me. Shaking the stupid thoughts away to deal with later, I walked across the dimly lit room to the side of the bed were I sat down. It struck me suddenly as I moved some curls out of her face that the shoe was now on the other foot as our positions were now changed. Steph had always came in to my room to check on me and now here I was doing kinda the same thing.

"I don't know if you can hear me in sleep like I did when I was in my coma, but I am sorry for tonight and I would love for us to talk" I told her sleeping form. I watched over her a few minutes and then decided that it was time for me to go, leaning over I kissed her temple, wished her a good sleep, and left the room.

"You know" Bobby said from his kitchen as I re-entered his living room "she is one remarkable woman"

"Yea I am beginning to really see that" I told him. I had already known she was a great person, Steph had accepted us warts and all and she brightens our world when we can only see the darkness. But for her to be the one to have been there when this whole nightmare began was something else entirely.

"I hope you do and know how lucky you are"

"Because Ranger and Santos aren't here?" I asked knowing how much she meant to them

"No because I'm just as lethal, but because in spite of what you did tonight she has already forgave you" he said and I stood there blinking in shock.

"Forgave me?"

"Before I gave her the pill to take she made me promise not to go over and kill you when she fell asleep" he said leaning against his sink.

"And you promised her?"

"Of course" he said letting me know that the curly brunette gets to him like she does to us all.

"For some reason she likes you and knows that the outburst didn't really have anything to do with her"

"It didn't you know" I told him

"I know, but still…" he left off

"I know" I told him and he nodded his head

"She and I need to talk"

"That's probably a good idea, just get everything over and back on track before Ranger and Santos gets back" he said and I understood his warning.

I left Browns place trapped in my own head. My thoughts were going everywhere with the things I'd learned about Stephanie. She truly amazed me for forgiving me and understanding that it wasn't her that made me lash out. I had to talk to her tomorrow and apologize, she had to know how truly sorry I am.


	15. Chapter 15

Later that night in my apartment, I tried to clean up the mess that I caused when I threw the bowl of soup at the wall. Realizing after I tossed out what I had picked up, what I had told Steph was true; I did still need her in spite of being mobile. It was very hard to bend over, collect the pieces of bowl, and then go into the kitchen to throw them away. Seeing there was nothing more that I could do with my casts on, I shuffled myself off to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

Filling the sink with water, I dipped my hand down into it, and splashed it onto my face. What had started out as a good day with getting the big bulky cast off, turned out to be a nightmare. Grabbing the towel that was hanging near the sink, I dried my face off as best as I could and then looked in the mirror. What I saw looking back at me was not the man that I knew. This man was troubled and had a hard time keeping his emotions in check. I had always had phenomenal control of what I felt and knew how and when to use my anger. When I have looked in the mirror before, I would catch a glimpse of the man that I once was and saw some of the things I had done, but the good always outweighed the bad and I stood proud.

By the time I walked out of the bathroom and turned off the light, my mind and heart was heavy and my body ached. I shouldn't have moved as much as I have been today and I shouldn't have been up on my legs like I was, but a lot of things happened and my common sense about my injuries flew out the window and now I am paying the price. As I sat down on my side of the bed my ribs protested and my legs just gave out, doing some deep breathing to get myself the rest of the way in bed, I flop my head back on my pillow, and wait a few minutes for the pain and the exertions of the day to calm.

Getting myself situated in bed, I turned to flip off my lamp. As I reached towards my lamp, I looked down at the table and saw one of the newspapers and pencils that Steph had brought in. Picking them up, I smiled remembering over the last week or so, she would come in and bring the puzzles for us to do together. She said she did it because I needed the company, but now that a lot of stuff has come to light, I believe it now was because of something else.

As I looked over the puzzle, I could hear Steph telling me how good I was at solving the clues. She looked over at me with so much trust and love in her eyes, it was then I teased her about being scary and I watched as she smiled and leaned up to kiss my forehead, the symbol that makes most people stop and think twice before talking to me. Steph kissing me there was her way of telling me she wasn't scared of me even thought at first glance when I was assigned to her, I had seen the trepidation as she talked to Ranger on the phone. When I remembered what was next, I got a funny feeling in my chest, I have always liked and admired Stephanie, but like the rest of the guys here I loved her from a far thinking I'd never stand a chance. It did seem however that when we had our almost kiss, she wanted it as much as I had. She closed her eyes to my touch and leaned in when I had, the only thing that stopped us was Brown coming in for and exam and dinner. If we'd kiss how far would it have went? I know not that far as I'm all casted up, but could we become something more than friends I wondered?

Laying the paper back onto my table, I flipped the lamp off and rolled over onto my side. As I laid there a sweet smell kept wafting over to me and I couldn't figure out where it was coming from. Sniffing my shirt and the bed around me, I was going nuts trying to find where this smell was. Finally I brought over the pillows from the other side of the bed and found out when I smelled it that it had the smell on it. I came to the conclusion that it had to have come from Steph since she was the one that always laid there and propped herself up with the pillow. I gathered the pillow to me and inhaled the sent she had left on it and the thought came to me that I wished my pillow would smell like this all the time. My heart constricted as the though crossed my mind, I saw Steph's fearful eyes as I yelled at her earlier tonight. I had caused that look and the tears that fell down her cheeks, she had been so good to me and we were growing close and I went and ruined it by what I did. Those eyes and her face will always haunt me, but I vow I'll never be the one to make her look like that again.

During the night I had woken up several times expecting to find Stephanie perched on the end of my bed like she had done a few times, but as I rose up and looked around each time she wasn't there. Getting tired of not being able to sleep, I just got up and started my day. A little after ten, I decided to go up to five and see if Steph might be in her cubicle, I wanted to talk to her, but I didn't know how well she would receive me. Bobby had told me that she had already forgiven me, but still I know there is going to be some awkwardness between us. When the elevator let me off onto the floor, I slowly walked around the hallway getting stopped by several men telling me it was great to see me back up here, I would nod to them and thank them, but I continued on around until I had a good view of her cube. Steph was there, sitting in her chair watching something scroll on her computer screen, I stopped and wondered how he was and if getting a good night sleep finally helped her with the stuff she had been dealing with. As I stood there watching her, I thought about her not being in my room this morning. I know it has only been one night and a morning, but I missed seeing her by me softly encouraging and laughing at some stupid thing I had told her. I guess I stood there staring at her for to long, because before I did anything she turned her head and looked at me.

"Stephanie" I said walking as fast as I could to her. I half expected her to run from me and not give me the time of day. I wouldn't blame her if she did, but she sat there and watched as I came to her.

"Steph" I said all out of breath when I finally made it down to her. You may try to hurry, but with a cast on your leg you're not going to go too fast "Please can we talk?" I asked her wincing as my ribs pulled. I looked into her eyes and saw the uncertainty and just knew she was gonna say no, but she stood up, took my hand into her, and gently tugged me out of her cubby.

"Not here" she said

"Ok, we could go down to my place for more privacy"

"No I can see that you're hurting" she said and I began to protest

"Steph I'm fine"

"Cal I can see the lines around your eyes and you look like you haven't gotten a lot of sleep, believe me I should know"

"Where do you want to go?" I asked her

She tugged on my hand and I followed her past Ranger's office and Tank's, we stopped in front of the conference room and she looked back at me "This will be ok, you can sit in the chairs" she said opening the door and going inside.

"Ramon" I called out

"Yea?" he asked sticking his head out of the monitor room

"Scramble con room cam"

"Ten four" he said and I watched to make sure as he hit a button on the console. Turning back, I took a deep breath, me a trained killer whose ran in to battles with out a blink of an eye was nervous about facing tiny (compared to me) woman. I knew if I screwed this up not only would I be loosing the best thing that would ever happen to me, but I would also become the social pariah of RangeMan. I would be hated from now on as being the guy that drove Bomber away and that's not including the wrath of Ranger and Santos. Accepting whatever fate was going to be given to me, I walked into the room.

"Cal are you ok?" Steph shocked me saying as she came up to me, placed her hand on to my cheek, and looked up at me with tears in her eyes. Waiting a few minutes for my response, but not getting one because I was dumbfounded by her actions, Steph wrapped her arms around my waist and buried her head in my chest. Here I was ready to grovel and apologize for what I had done and she only wants to know if I am ok. Shocked, I stood there not knowing what I should do.


	16. Chapter 16

I stood there with Stephanie still not knowing what I should do, I had, had my brain set to get back into her good graces, and I was not prepared for her to turn the tables around on me. Finally my brain somehow clicked back online and my arms came around her.

"I was so scared" she said and my insides hurt knowing it was me who had scared her

"I know" I told her kissing the top of her head "I'm so sorry, it wasn't you"

"When Junior called in and told Les about not being able to find you the mood in here got so weird" she said and I froze. If I remember correctly, Steph was not here when I left to go to the warehouse call, she must have came in after I had left.

"I saw Les take off running into Ranger's office and then a few minutes later a very pissed off Tank joined them" she said and then I realized she wasn't telling me she was scared about me yelling at her, she was opening up and telling me from her point of view what had happened when I was taken.

"Then Ranger came out of his office and the vibe that he was putting off was intense" she said starting to choke up, I tightened my hold on her.

"Everyone moved at his commands, there were guys running everywhere and yelling and orders being barked out" Steph said getting worked up remembering that day.

"I wanted to help" she said looking up at me "But I just didn't know how to or what I could do" she told me backing up a few steps from me. When she did so she began pacing back and forth.

"After hours of this tornado of things swirling around the office and the search team coming back only with your truck the mood here intensified, you could cut the tension with a knife. I had to get out of there just to be able to breath" she said "I went down to the lobby where Binkie was manning the phones and desk"

Steph had now seen what happens when one of ours is threatened. In the years that I have known her I don't think she has ever seen or been on this side of things. What she has only seen was when a call would come in about her we would all come swooping in and protect her.

"Now think of how intense it would be if it had been you" I said and she stopped pacing and looked at me

"What?"

"What you saw is nothing compared to what goes on when a call comes in about you" I told her

"Cal I'm no better than you or anyone here" she stated

"You sure are" I blurted out and her eyes widened in surprise. I took her hand and guided her over to the table so we could sit down and talk.

"Stephanie you just don't know what you mean to us. We are so flawed, scared, and screwed up. Not one of us here can say he hasn't had to do something that would make ordinary people look at us with disgust if they knew what we done and they would turn their back on us. We don't trust lightly or allow just anyone into our lives, but you, you have all of us wrapped around your fingers. You care for us and love us as individuals and as a whole. You make us laugh, believe in us, and hurt for us when we're hurt. You gave us back a little bit of civility, so for doing all of that for us you better believe when a call comes in on you we'll do whatever it takes to help you" when I finished, Steph was openly crying

"Cal I'm just me"

"We know that honey and that's why we love you. You are so pure ad untainted, but…"

"But?" she asked

"But something's been off with you, you're still Steph, but something's been bothering you" I said and she bowed her head

"Steph?" I asked placing my fingers under her chin and raising her head up to look at me "Talk to me, what is it?"

"I was the one who found you" She admitted, telling me what Brown had told me yesterday.

"Well I didn't really find you; I was talking to Binkie asking him if he had heard anything or knew anything. After he told me that he hadn't a loud sound came from out side causing us both to look out the door, a big black truck came screeching to a halt outside and two men came running around to the side and threw something out onto the concrete just outside the doors" she said and I remembered being moved and laying on something hard and cold.

"I screamed realizing that it was you and ran outside to help. Binkie was right behind me with his gun trained on the truck that peeled out of there. I rolled you over and saw what they had done to you" she said as big crocodile tears fell down her cheeks "Cal you were cut all over your face and there was so much blood. I told Binkie to get Ranger and Bobby and to call nine one one. When he ran off to get them, I laid your head in my lap, you moaned, and I told you to not talk and to hang on" she said and I pulled her to me "your eyes they were so swollen and so bruised"

"Shhh Bomber its ok, I'm going to be fine" I told her my heart hurting for all she had witnessed

"In the hospital" she said sitting back up "they had to do a lot of surgeries on you and set your leg and arm. When they finally got you into a room you still had some blood on your face, so I washed your face for you" she said and flashback of waking up in the coming came back and I remembered feeling something cool brush over my skin and then heard Steph hum for the first time.

"I heard you" I told her "Ranger came over and told you that you should go home and rest and clean up"

"I couldn't leave" she said and I nodded at her "Eventually though I had too, but all I could think about was you hurt, alone, and with no one to care for you. I would come in everyday to sit with you, to talk with you about everything and anything, I even put lotion on your hands so they wouldn't dry out" she said and I touched her cheek with my fingers.

"Thank you" I told her my heart swelling for all she had done for me

"At night" she began again "I would go home and lie in my bed and think about you. When I finally went to sleep I would dream of finding you and seeing all that blood" she said breaking down, Steph placed her hands over her face " I never slept more than two hours a night because every time I closed my eyes, I saw you being thrown out over and over again" she confessed crying. Now I knew why she had not been sleeping.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked

"You are dealing with so much already; I couldn't add me to it"

Everything she was telling me allowed all the pieces of the Stephanie puzzle to come together. All the wonders and questions I had were now answered. I gathered her to my chest and hugged her to me. Steph was suffering, but she refused to allow me to have another thing to worry about. I loved this woman.

"I told Bobby" she said "I thought is I got it off my chest I would feel better, but I didn't. I tried to act as if everything was ok, but every time I went home the nightmare would start, so that's one of the nights I snuck into your room and sat on your bed. Bobby said he was drugging you because of the trip home and I figured you would never know I was there. I was gonna be gone before you got up or Bobby came in"

"But I woke up and heard you" I said

"Yea, I just had to know you were ok after my dream, I was crying because of what was happening to me, but when I was with you I wasn't scared and when I slept next to you I didn't have any scary dreams" she said and my swelling heart burst wide open. Even though I didn't know any of this and I was all banged up, I still protected her and gave her a safe place to come too.

"I love you Cal" she said and I looked down into the curls on top of her head. I shifted in my chair making her look up at me.

"I love you too" I told her. Our eyes locked and I placed my hand onto her cheek. Just as in my bedroom that night, Steph closed her eyes as I leaned in, stopping for a moment, I slid my hand into her hair, brought her to me, and kissed her. Steph in return wound her arms around my neck and kissed me back. When our tongues touched, I suddenly broke the kiss and pulled away.

"I'm sorry I should have done that" I said and Steph looked at me confused

"Ranger'll have my ass"

"Ranger?"

"You and he have something going on don't you?" I asked knowing of the feelings they both seemed to have for each other

"No" she said shaking her head "I love him and probably always will, but there's nothing between us but good friends"

"Positive?" I asked not wanting to step on anyone's toes or cross any line especially the boss's.

"Well I know how I feel and what Ranger has told me, but if you want to know what he thinks or feels you'll have to ask him" she said and I nodded.

"So it's ok?" I asked and saw her smile

"Uhh huh" she said and I kissed her again. When the kiss was over, Steph snuggled into my chest and I just held her. I'm just amazed how a tragedy has brought us together. Like I've said before I have always loved her, but so has all the other guys here in this building. I wasn't actively seeking to have a woman in my life, especially not Stephanie, but here we are and I don't want to leg her go like she always wanted and needed to be with me.

"How are you feeling now?" I asked her after she had told me everything that has been going on,

"Better" she said and then I felt her slump against me.

"Steph you ok?" I asked bending down to speak in her ear

"Mmmhmmm" she mumbled

"Steph" I asked again and she didn't respond. I sat there thinking on what I should do and wondering if she was ok then I heard the deep breathing, Steph had fallen asleep. I guess like confession is good for the soul, unloading everything finally to me allowed her to be free and able to sleep. Grabbing my phone, I text one of the guys to come to me. The door opened and Brett came inside.

"She asleep?" he asked coming around us

"Yea can you carry her to my room?" I asked

"Sure" he said gently lifting her into his arms. We slowly made it into my room and I told Brett to lay her down in my bed.

"You two ok?" he asked referring to last night

"Yea we're good" I told him, we're very good.

I left Steph to sleep and went into my living room to see who I could find to fix my tattoo. As I was looking online at all the local parlors, my phone rang.

"Yo, Brown said you're mobile now, can you come to my office in ten?" Ranger asked

"Yes sir" I said and he disconnected. Grabbing a sheet of paper I wrote a note to Steph telling her when I was if she happened to wake up, I did think she would, but just in case. Laying the note on the other pillow next to her, I left the apartment to face some of my demons.


	17. Chapter 17

I slowly took my time walking up the hall to the elevator. Everything I did these days was slow, but I was purposely avoiding the talk I knew I was going to have up on five. I should be relived that the threat was gone, but I wasn't. What would make me feel whole again would to be able to have a fair fight with the ones who had done this to me and let them see the sheer power that they would be up against and then watch as they get taken out by the one they had hurt. I guess if I really looked at it the threat wasn't to me, I was just used to get to Ranger. Ranger has done some shit in his life and one of those things came back for revenge, Felix wanted Ranger to know he was here to play, the threat was to Ranger. I pushed the up arrow on the elevator and waited for it to come, I shook my head slightly thinking how many times in a day I would run up and down those steps going from one floor to the other, now I couldn't even do one step and was grateful we had an elevator.

When the car I had summoned came and the door slid open, I walked in and rested my body against the wall, the effects of the morning taking its toll and leaving me tired. I thought about the woman in my bed and how different our cases where and how we shared a common bond in all of this. Steph never received a single blow physically, but she had mentally. I will never get over the fact that she still had her mind about her after all she had seen and been through to not want to tell me and burden me with her problems even if it did involve me. I am glad however that she did seek out and confide in to Bobby, I know he would do anything that he could to help her. It seemed with the little snippets here and there that I gathered Steph didn't want help she just wanted an ear to listen to her. What she didn't realize was that she was hurting herself more by holding everything in. The elevator car stopped and the door opened to reveal the fifth floor to me. I stepped off of the elevator and made my way to Ranger's office.

"Enter" I heard his gruff reply. It was his usual greeting, but I could tell there was tiredness to his voice.

"Sir" I said opening the door. I lay heavily onto the can that Bobby had given me; I looked around and saw Santos standing next to Ranger with a bruise on his face and Tank standing on the other side with some of his fingers taped on one hand. Bobby also was there sitting in one of the chairs in front of the desk and I suddenly got a little worried that not only was I here to talk about the meeting with Felix, but also about what's been going on around here since the team had left.

"Have a seat" Ranger said. Santos moved around from the desk to pull out the chair for me, as I neared he placed a hand on my back helping me.

"Hector and Hal as you know were apart of this team" he said and I nodded "They have been dismissed and are back in their apartments to sleep it off"

"Where were they, where did you have to go?" I asked. He couldn't tell me anything about Felix or how or why they met, but I was hoping he would tell me about this mission since it did involve me.

"Russia" he said "it was Gustov's home land and he fled there for safety" Ranger said and Santos snorted.

"But he made it a point in getting your attention" I said wondering why she would flee for safety if he wanted Ranger so bad.

"Yes it was just a scare tactic. Felix didn't have any other plans at this time to take me on. He just wanted me to know he was out there and I should be worried and watching my back"

"Stupid" I said rolling my eyes. Don't these people know Ranger? If you try anything on him you have lit a fuse and he will hunt you non stop until it or he blows up in your face.

"Felix and his crew have been eliminated" Ranger said and I felt the hatred I had for these men bubble up. It felt so unfair that I wasn't seen when they were taken down. All the guys were looking at me to see what my reaction would be, a lot of stuff was swirling in my gut and in my head, I wanted to scream and hit something, but there was nothing I could say or do so I just nodded my head.

"If it makes you feel any better they put up a fight and the ones that I had I made known I was there to get revenge for you. They knew your name when it was all said and done" Santos said

"Thanks it helps" I said and he gave me one of his trademark smiles

"All right everyone dismissed go get some rest" Ranger announced "Bobby you and Cal stay" he said

Everyone filed out of the office and touched me on the shoulder as they went by letting me know they were glad that I was healing and mobile. They also let me know they had taken care of the people that had hurt their friend. It did help to think and know that about these guys, we are very loyal to each other and had each others backs in times of need. I know if it was someone besides me I'd be one of the first to want to hunt down the responsible party and avenge what had been done to mine.

"How are you?" Ranger asked me

"I'm good just tired" I told him and he nodded his head

"How's the pain?"

"The ribs are better, but still tender and I'm getting exhausted a lot"

"That's because you're up moving around and you're bodies not used to it" Bobby explained.

"Physical Therapy?" Ranger asked

"He has two more weeks of wearing the casts, but I think he will need some therapy to get back to where he once was along with some strength training when he can"

"Ok know that I'm up to speed on your physical side of things I want to talk about mental" he said and my eyes widened. I looked over at Brown and wondered what hew had been telling him.

"I'm not crazy" I said defending myself

"I didn't say that you were, but I would like for you to talk to Jonathan. I can set it up for you or you can" he said

Jonathan Hartly was the RangeMan Therapist and was on call to us whenever we needed someone. There were things buried in our pasts that would creep in and he would help us with them and also when we would come back from a mission today that had gone badly. Hartly had served along side us and saw first hand what happened to the men that came home. He made it a goal to help his brothers' deal and become successful civilians.

"I don't think this qualifies for something Hartly needs to be called for" I said. I had not just got back from the war nor did I have any ghosts coming back to haunt me.

"Cal you're blood thirsty and even though I understand the need for revenge, you can never have it. I've been there its just I've always gotten to get my attackers, but yours is gone and you have it eating away at you on the inside. I want you to return to your spot on my team, but I won't unleash you onto the public until you settle what's inside you. I wont have you go ape shit on a skip because it hasn't been dealt with." he said and I just stared at him.

"So I'll be fired if I don't agree?" I asked

"No I just can't have you on my core team or run takedowns, I wouldn't be a good boss if I knew of this and ignored it"

"Also" he said "you are my brother and I want you healed in everything"

I sat there and thought over everything for a few minutes. Hartley was a good guy, discreet, and professional. He understood the workings of RangeMan and knew we wanted to get back to work as soon as possible. If this was what I had to do to keep my spot with Ranger then I guess I'd do it.

"I'll see Hartly, but I want Steph to go with me when I see him" I told him of my decision

"Stephanie?" he asked in surprise "Why would I send her to Jonathan?"

"Actually that's not a bad idea" Brown chimed in and I looked over at him

"You left and have been gone during all of it, but Steph needs help as well" Bobby told him

"Explain" Ranger demanded

Bobby and I told him from our point of views on what we have seen or heard about Stephanie. Bobby spilled her secret on what she had told me earlier in the conference room. He didn't do it to betray her trust in him, he did it because she needed help and Ranger needed to know and have the whole picture so he could get her the help that she needed. I corroborated everything Brown said having heard the same things as well minus the kisses.

"She's suffering" I said "not physically, but mentally. She witnessed the aftermath"

"I'll call Jonathan and have him see you two together. Usually its one on one, but since this all goes hand in hand I think it will be ok" he said and I nodded

"Where is she?"

"My room asleep" I said hoping he wouldn't push

"Let her sleep and I'll talk to her tomorrow about all of this" he said "Dismissed"

Brown and I walked out of Ranger's office. I went back to my apartment and once inside I locked the door, took off my shoe, and climbed into bed with Steph to follow her into dream land. As soon as my body lay next to hers she rolled over and sprawled on top of me. I kissed her head and rubbed her back, I wish I could tell her of Ranger's plan, but he wanted to see her and be the one to tell her. I didn't want to hold anything from her, but this was the boss's decision. While I laid there with her the thoughts of Steph being with Ranger had me uneasy, she said they had nothing going on and we had shared a couple of kisses, but I saw the look in his eyes when he was told that Steph was hurting. We hadn't declared or defined what we were to each other so there was a chance that Ranger could swoop in and win the girl. Holding her a little tighter, I enjoyed what could be the last time to feel her next to me and have her in my arms.


	18. Chapter 18

I was just waking up when I felt Stephanie start to wiggle next to me. Waking up fully, I watched as she rolled onto her back, opened her eyes, and looked around my room trying to figure out where she was. I silently watched as she turned her head and smiled when she saw me for the first time. I admit I was a little nervous wondering what she would say or do since our talk upstairs. Would she be happy with what transpired between us or would the long nap the she desperately needed be enough to clear her mind and come to the conclusion that she regretted the kisses?

"Hi" she said stretching her body out. As she did so the uniform shirt that she was wearing came out of her pants and rode up her stomach showing off her perfect little belly button, I so badly wanted to run my hand over her skin just to see how it felt, but refrained because I didn't want to seem so forward after just a couple of kisses.

"Hi" I said back turning on my side more so I could face her.

"What time is it?" she asked

"A little after six" I told her checking the watch on my arm. Both Steph and I had fallen asleep wearing everything we had on, we were so exhausted we didn't bother with taking our shoes or watches off. In all reality even if Steph preferred to be comfortable sleeping I couldn't have helped her by doing anything with being in these damn casts.

"Sorry about falling asleep on you. After I told you everything I felt so empty, warm, and my eyes just couldn't stay opened any longer" she said

"That's ok, you finally just let go and you crashed. Your body can only go so long"

"But I told Bobby when they took you in for your x-rays that I was not able to sleep and having nightmares, but nothing changed"

"I guess since we are in this together we have a special bond or something. Bobby's a great guy and friend, but maybe him offering to help in a medical way didn't fully allow you the peace you needed to let go" I told her touching my fingers to her that lay across her stomach. Steph has a thing about Doctors and Bobby acting in that way may have caused her to hold on to the tension and not be able to rest.

"Yea maybe" she said closing her eyes again and letting out a big breath

"Cal"

"Yea Bomber" I asked playing with her fingers

"How did I get down here to your room and in your bed?"

"I texted Brett and he came and carried you down here and laid you in bed" I told her and she opened her eyes and looked at me. I could get lost looking into those beautiful blue eyes. A beautiful rosy blush covered her cheeks and I wondered what she was thinking about to make her embarrassed. I took my casted arm and touched her cheek with my fingers.

"What's wrong?" I asked and she smiled, giggled, and covered her face with her hands.

Steph had hid her face from me before when she was telling me how she had found me. She was reliving something that was hard and very painful then, but now she was smiling and giggling, I wonder what memory she is seeing now?

"It's nothing, I was just thinking about what happened" she said "How I felt safest in your bed and near you and now after we…. Just being here in your bed now feels, well it feels different, weird" she said and I hoped she was ok with what we had shared.

"Good weird?" I asked and she nodded her head

"Do you regret it?" I asked

I was afraid of what her answer might be, but I need to know where I stand. I knew if she chose me she would be loyal and not let anyone sway her. But I also knew Ranger and even though he told Steph there could be nothing between them it all could change now that he knows she's in trouble. I saw the look that passed over his eyes when Brown and I told him about Steph, there is definitely something that he feels for her. Steph has always been in love with him, but has had to unwillingly accept the fact that he didn't want her like the ways she wanted him too. If this makes him see her in a different light and gives her what she's always wanted then I could see her feelings change. Her first love comes calling and she will give up anything and anybody to have what she's always wanted.

"No I don't regret it" she said turning on her side so she could face me. I was happy with what she said, but still I had this nagging thought in the back of my head to wait and see what happens when she sees Ranger tomorrow.

When Steph was turning we both heard a crinkling sound. Steph scrunched her eyes up in confusion, when she moved again the sound happened again.

"What is that?" she asked looking between us to the bed. Steph slipped her hand to the mattress and brought out a crinkled piece of paper.

"I guess I forgot to move that when I laid down" I said seeing that it was the note I had left for her incase she woke up while I was gone.

"So they're back?" she asked reading the note I'd left

"Yea they're back"

"Are they ok?" she asked. Classic Steph always concerned about her friends

"Yea for the most part, Ranger was tired, Les had a bruise on his face, Tank looked to have a finger or two broke on his hand, Hal and Hector I don't know they had already been allowed to go to their rooms to sleep it off so I didn't see them"

Stephanie thought on what I said for a moment and then scooted closer to me; she placed her hand on my cheek and looked at me with so much pain and love in her eyes. I guess she knew that meeting with them they had told me about the meeting they had with Felix.

"Are you ok?" she asked tucking her head under my chin and her arm went around me.

"I'll live" I told her. That phrase to me sounded so weird, I had been so consumed with wanting revenge that I could barely think of anything else and I have been in casts for almost a month, yea I was really living.

"Oh Cal I know how badly you wanted to make them pay for what they did to you, but you couldn't. Please know that Ranger did this for you as well as take out a threat that was to him"

"I know" I said thinking back to what Santos said to me earlier

"They're gone now right?" she asked and I nodded my head "well everyone came back safe and we don't have to worry about anything else but you getting better and healing" she said and I closed my eyes inhaling the scent of her hair.

I wanted to believe what she was saying and I wanted to tell her about Ranger's offer to see Hartly, but I knew he wanted to tell her personally. I wondered how she will take the news that me, Brown, and Ranger thinks she should join me in seeing a therapist. I know she usually objects to medical care when she gets banged up or tossed around by a skip, but Hartly not being really "medical" I don't know how she will take it. Steph moved against me and looked up at me.

"We're gonna be ok now" she said "I already feel so much better after I told you everything and getting some sleep"

"Good" I said smiling at her and kissing her forehead

I hoped she was right and it was cute hearing her being all optimistic and hopeful for the future now that Felix and his crew was taken care of, but I had a feeling everything just wouldn't go back to the way it was just by having the threat eliminated. A lot of things had changed and we now have to learn to live with those changes.

"I hope you're right" I told her hating to know that her bubble may burst tomorrow after the meeting with Ranger.

Steph smiled at me and the mood around us changed. I was amazed at how fast and easily I've fallen for her. Before the attack I wasn't seeking to have any relations with a girl and during my recovery I didn't realize I'd grown to want Steph to always be around until she wasn't for a night and by her reactions I think its blindsided Steph as well. Now I am like a love sick teenager just after those kisses we had. I always want to see her, floating dreamily when I catch her sent, and getting lost in her eyes and her touch. If you listened and looked carefully you probably could see those damn blue birds circling and chirping with rock ballad music playing. Steph leaned forward and kissed me, I lost myself in kissing her back and the thought ran across, Oh how things have changed.


	19. Chapter 19

That night when we went to bed after having dinner and watching some old movies on TV, we quickly fell asleep. I was getting tired of always needing to rest, but I did understand that Steph needed too since she had been having a hard time sleeping the last few weeks due to having nightmares. When I woke up the next morning, Steph was not in bed with me. Looking around the room and listening to see if I could tell where she was, I found the apartment to be silent.

"Steph?" I called out getting out of bed. The mornings for me are always the worst just because you've spent the last four to eight hours still and not moving. As I finally managed to get myself up and moving around, I made it to the bed room door. Steph at the same time came in the front door carrying a tray and sat it down on the coffee table.

"What's that?" I asked and she looked up surprised

"I didn't think you would be up yet"

"I woke up and you weren't in bed and I didn't hear you anywhere so I got up to investigate" I told her

"I went up to five and got us some breakfast" she said pointing to the food on the table "I thought we could have breakfast in bed, but since you're up we can eat out here"

"That's fine" I told her moving to sit on my couch, Steph sat next to me, handed me a plate, and took the other for herself.

"Thanks for letting me spend the night" she said as we began to eat. I sat my plate of food back onto the table and turned to face her.

"You are more than welcome to sleep over anytime you want. Did you have any nightmares?" I asked her sliding my hand onto her cheek and kissing her. When we pulled away, Steph blushed and looked down to the plate of food in her lap.

"It's going to take a little bit to get used to that" she said looking between me and her food

"I know, if someone told me that I was going to be kissing a beautiful woman a few weeks ago I would think they were crazy" I said and she smiled "But" I said taking her plate and sitting it down next to mine "I know a way that we could get used to kissing each other"

"Oh?"

"Yea" I said leaning into her, Steph's arms came around my neck and our mouths connected. I heard a slight moan come from her when I moved my mouth to her neck. This was the first time I'd kissed her anywhere but her mouth. It has been a while since I had a woman in my arms and now that I did it seemed the hormones didn't want to take it slow. As I was lost in kissing her and determined to drag as many squeaks and moans from her, a phone rang out in the distance.

"Urrrg crap" Steph growled breaking the spell and the moment we were in

"Cal that's my phone" she said pushing me back with her hands on my shoulders. I didn't want to stop and let her go just for a freaken phone call, whoever it was could call back or leave a message, but there was a problem that I was very aware of. I was in an arm cast and a leg cast, I couldn't go any further with Steph. Allowing her to push me away, I sat back up and watched as she took her phone out of her pants pocket.

"Stephanie" she said breathless

"Yea I'm fine, couldn't find my phone" she lied to the caller and it quirked my interest on who it could be on the other side of the phone. When we come out as an official couple there won't be any lying on what she was doing to cause her to be breathless, everyone will know it was me that caused her to be.

"Ok see you then and Ranger I'm glad you are back and didn't get shot" she said and then I knew it was Ranger on the other end. In no doubt he'd called her to meet with him so he could see her and tell her of the idea we had. Hanging up the phone, she slid it back into her pocket, and looked at me.

"Ranger wants to see me at ten" she said putting her hair behind her ears and getting her food again. I suddenly became nervous because she had no idea on what was about to be laid on her and I felt it had the potential to blow up in all of our faces.

We began to eat our breakfast again and my phone began to ring. Taking it off my belt, I saw that it was Ranger who was calling me "Yea?" I asked when I answered it.

"I'd like you to join Steph when she comes in to talk to me" he said and I was shocked, I had figured that he would have wanted to have Steph all to himself

"You would?" I questioned, not something that is done to often.

"Yes you and she are going through the same issue so it may help her to know you're on board. She's really been around you a lot and will respect your decision to see Jonathan"

"Yes sir" I said and when Steph heard me she turned her head towards me

"For a man that's been gone to God knows where and probably in some kind of battle he sure is a busy guy this morning" she said as I hung up my phone.

"That's Ranger, he hardly takes any time off if he can help it"

We finally were able to finish our breakfast. Steph gathered the dishes, placed them on the tray, and placed the tray on the kitchen counter. I watched as she looked at her watch and sighed.

"I have to go see the boss" she said coming over and kissing me

"I'll go with you" I told her

"You don't have too, stay and rest I'll be back in a bit" she said moving to the door

"Actually he wants to see me as well" I told her and she stopped and turned around

"That's why he called"

"Oh well ok" she said as she waited for me to get up and join her.

Stephanie and I made our way up to the fifth floor and made our way over to Ranger's office. While we were going to his office I wondered if Ranger called to have Bobby meet with us since he was also there when we informed him of Stephanie's issues.

"Enter" Ranger said and I noticed he sounded stronger than he did yesterday. The power of a nights sleep.

"Sir" I said standing behind Steph. When she heard that I'd came in with her she turned back to look at me.

"Babe" Ranger said coming around his desk "How are you?" he asked putting his hand on her cheek. I bristled but kept calm.

"I'm good" she told him and he looked pained at her. You could see he cared for her greatly.

"Steph I'm so sorry you are hurting, I never ever wanted you to have to see the ugly side that is our lives" he said and I stepped up behind her and placed my hand onto her hip, Ranger noticed and looked down at my hand.

"What?" she asked clearly confused. Ranger stepped back and returned to his desk.

"Babe I met with Cal last night and we discussed with him about his place on my team" he told her and she looked back at me.

"You were asleep" I said knowing she was wondering why she didn't know

"Of course he still has a place on your team the casts will come off in a few more weeks" she said standing up for me.

"Cal's physical aspects aren't in question here" he said "I would like for Cal to meet with the RangeMan therapist Jonathan Hartly"

"You have a therapist on board?" she asked

"Yes, he is an old friend who served with us and became a therapist because he saw and knew what men coming home from war were like. He wanted to help make the transition easier for them"

"That's great" Steph answered

"Yea Hartly is a good man, you will like him"

"Ok?"

"Steph, Cal has agreed to go see Jonathan as long as you go with him and after being advised of the problems that you've been having since I've been away I agree it would be a good thing for you as well" he said and I felt Steph's body stiffen.

"What?" she asked turning around to look at me "you think I should see a therapist?"

"Honey you're suffering" I told her

"But I told you that after I told you everything I felt so much better now"

"I know, but Steph you've been through a lot"

"I'll prove it to you" she said her eyes moving over my face

"You don't have to do that" I told her

"Yes I'll prove it to the both of you that I am ok now" she said moving away from me "Look I've got some people to talk to, so I have to go"

"Steph" I said getting to her before she went out the door

"We'll talk later" she said kissing my lips. I sighed as I watched her walk down the hall.

"She has always been head strong" I told Ranger

When I really looked back at Ranger he was standing with his arms across his chest and his eyes was narrowed accessing me "Close the door" he said and I knew what was about to be discussed.


	20. Chapter 20

I slowly closed the door trying to eat up some time, but there is hardly anytime that can be used up when you're already standing in the office and the one you really don't want to talk too is only about ten feet away. Turning around, I walked over to the chairs that sat in front of Ranger's desk, which was odd that he even had them since I have never seen any visitors in here before. When Ranger had people up here they always met in one of the conference rooms or off site, never in his office. I motion to one of the chairs and Ranger nods his head.

"Yes" I said easing myself down in his chair. I really wish all the pain would just leave and stop hanging around.

"Yes what?" Ranger asked

"Yes to what you're thinking is true" I said and he sat down behind his desk, his eyes trained on me.

"Steph and I have gotten closer since you guys have been gone" I told him hoping that just being truthful and owning up to it would go over smoother than him just finding out some other way. "I never thought for a minute that all the time we were spending with each other would lead to a relationship and I don't think Steph was looking for one either, it just sorta happened. She finally confessed to me what has really been going on with her and when it was all said and done she said I love you. After that we shared a couple of kisses and that's all. We haven't even decided what we want to call us it all just happened yesterday" I told him. No use in holding back now if Steph and I's budding romance goes the distance, Ranger will see us together.

"After the first kiss, I even stopped and apologized because I knew of the chemistry between you two. I never want to try and take something that belongs to another man"

Ranger's chair squeaked and groaned when he moved, he sat up after listening to all I'd said and laid his arms on his desk. "She said I love you first?" he asked and it took me a minute to comprehend what he'd asked.

"Uh yea she said I love you Cal and I told her that I loved her back"

"She never says it, it scares the shit out of her, just like marriage or kids, and she almost breaks out in hives the mere mention of it"

"I don't know" I told him

"For her to say it means you are very special to her, she feels safe and protected. It's really something for her to say it" he said and I thought back to knowing when she felt panicked, Steph had always run to me. I didn't know it at the time, but I had protected her and gave her that safe place to come too.

"Do you love her?" Ranger asked. Normally I wouldn't be sitting around talking about my feelings, but since it's Ranger and he has a history with Stephanie, I guess we need to have this talk.

"I wont lie to you sir, but like a lot of men here I have grown feelings for her. I have as they say loved her from a far. I'd watch her and look at her, but I never crossed that line because we all believed she belonged to you, I never thought I'd have a chance with her"

"Can you be the man she wants and needs?" he asked me

"I wasn't looking for this, but I'd like to try and believe when I'm back to a hundred percent I can be" I told him

"With her it doesn't matter you're in casts. She said I love you while you're hurt and injured, when you're better it will just be better" he said and in a rare moment I watched as Ranger dropped his blank face and took a breath.

"I know if you stopped the kiss and asked her about me she told you that there was nothing going on between us"

"Yes"

"I love her" he said and I felt my heart jump in my throat. I could not stand a chance against Ranger. "But I can't be or give her what she wants or needs. What if Gustov learned that Stephanie was my girlfriend or wife or that I had a family with her? He would have not let her go if it was her he had kidnapped. I have to be the lone wolf, now if she'd accept me in her bed just to scratch that itch I'd be with her forever, but she is more than that and he has more respect for herself than to be the girl I call when I need my needs satisfied."

When Ranger said what he said about Gustov or anyone taking Steph because it was a way to get to him, I saw red. NO one hurts her and gets away with it. What he said about Steph accepting him in her bed sounded so cruel to her, but I understood. The only way he could be with her was for casual sex and Steph was classier that and deserved to be treated with respect. Ranger knew this and because of his love for her saw that he couldn't ask that of her or do it.

"If I could give it to her I would, but I cant, not with how my life is now and I don't see it changing anytime soon" he said. I didn't know hoe to respond to him, Ranger never shares his heart with anyone, if you knew him you would swear he didn't have much of one. I stayed silent and listened.

"Treat her good or you'll answer to me" he said and his predatory face slammed down

"I plan too"

"See to it you do, oh and watch out for Santos he has always wanted Steph and when he finds out she was available and he didn't get the chance to try and get her he will be watching you very carefully for any little thing to bust you on"

"Got it" I said. I was shocked that Ranger was giving me his blessing. If you thought about it I really didn't need him to tell me who I could or couldn't be with and Steph wouldn't like it at all that she was the topic of our little conversation.

Our little meeting was coming to a close when Ranger's desk phone rang; he answered it and looked over at me as he listened. When he hung up he asked if I could make it down to Browns exam room.

"Yea does he need me for something?" I asked knowing I hadn't had any recent tests and my casts didn't come off for another two weeks.

"Yes, but not for you, Stephs there" he said jumping up. When he said that I went as fast as I could out of Ranger's office door. I know he slowed his walk for me to catch up, but we still went as fast as we could.

"Brown said she came in under her own power and that she's ok"

"What happened?" I asked as the elevator took us down to two

"She was going after a guy who ran and she fell on the paths that go around the park dodging a kid on a skate board. She's got some nasty scratches and road rash"

"Son of a bitch" I growled grinding my teeth

We neared Browns room and heard yelling and cursing. When we walked in we saw Bobby placing a rag onto the side of Step's leg and she calling him everything in the book.

"I have to clean out the debris in the scratches" Brown said

"That stuff hurts" she said

"If you would have gone to the hospital this is what they would have done as well" he said pouring stuff onto the cloth.

"Babe" Ranger said coming to the side of the table and wincing. When I came over I saw her upper leg scratched in little bleeding scratches and a huge red and purple rash from the concrete path. Little bits of stuff were in the wounds and my blood boiled.

"SHIT STEPH" I said my anger and the monster coming forth

"I'm ok, I just fell" she said

"Who was it?" I asked

"Who?"

"You're FTA?"

"Roger Mays wanted for shoplifting" she said through gritted teeth as Bobby put the cloth on her leg

I turned and walked out, all I could see was red. Adrenaline was pumping through my veins and I didn't care that my arm was in a cast or that my leg was also, I wanted Mays and I was gonna make him pay for hurting my girlfriend. I got out of the exams rooms door and was slammed against the wall.


	21. Chapter 21

My back hit against the wall with a loud thud and a dark arm held me across the chest so I couldn't move. My ribs have been healing and a lot of the pain has gone, but being slammed up against the wall a shot of pain ripped through then as they were jarred. I looked out and into a set of dark eyes; Ranger leaned heavily onto me keeping me locked into place. I am in no means a little man, but Ranger broke no sweat in keeping me against that wall.

"I don't want to hurt you man" he said pushing against me, Ram and Binkie came out of the stairwell probably seeing everything from the camera's.

"RANGER" I heard yelled beside me

"What are you doing?" he asked me never letting up and looking into my eyes

"Going after Mays, he hurt her" I ground out

"Cal you need to rein it in and get your head on straight. What are you going to do? Think about it, you are in a leg cast and an arm cast and can barely walk. Mays see you coming after him in this condition and it will be all over" he said and I stayed quiet. The monster inside of me retracted and the adrenaline that was pumping through my veins was starting to ebb.

"This is exactly why I can't allow you to be on the streets"

When Ranger said that I came to my senses, he was right I needed to get help before I could come back to my job. I believe and know I'll always hate anyone that hurts Steph, but I can't jump up and kill every one of them. I have to allow her to fight her own battles; this is her job as much as it is mine. I need to allow her to feel safe in coming to me when she does need my help and know I won't fly off the handle.

"Get it together and do what's right" Ranger said nodding his head to the side. I looked over to where he was motioning and saw Steph standing in the door with Bobby protectively behind her. I nodded and let out a breath letting him know I had got his message and that I was ok. Ranger let go and I shook off the pain that was in my ribs, I went back over to Steph and hugged her to me.

"I'm ok" she said her hand rubbing my back sending the monster that was my anger back into its cage.

"Can I fix you now?" Brown asked from beside us and Steph groaned.

"Yes" I said looking down into blue eyes "It has to be cleaned"

Bobby sat back on his stool and waited for Steph to slide back into place on the table. He pulled up on the end of her skirt and again got the cloth he had been using. Bobby poured some clear liquid from a large brown bottle on to the cloth and pressed it against Stephanie's leg. Steph squirmed and hissed, but I held her hand like she had mine so many times before and spoke comforting words in to her ear. When Bobby got out the last bit of gravel and dirt from the cuts, he slathered her with antibiotic cream and placed large band aides on the deeper of the cuts. When he finally announced that he was done, Steph laid back and looked up at me.

"You ok?" she asked

"Yea Bomber I'm good" I told her running my fingers through the top of her hair. I was not used to caring so much for someone that it physically hurt to see them in pain or sick. This was all so new to me.

"Can we go to my place and talk?" I asked. I needed to have her alone and needed to feel her in my arms to make sure she was really ok.

"Sure" she said getting up and easily slipping off the table

"Babe" Ranger said when we passed

"Clumsy Steph strikes again" she said with a grin

Ranger hugged her and let her go. This was another thing I was going to have to come to terms with. He like the rest of the guys loved her and is scared out of their minds when something happens to her. I have to get ok with them loving her and touching her when the treat is over. I have her and love her, but so do they and I have to allow them to be apart of her life because if I don't, Steph will resent me. Making it into my apartment, I closed the door, sat down on my couch, and pulled her to sit next to me. Steph wrapped her arm around me and nestled herself into my side.

"I'm fine" she repeated

"I know just give me this, I'm learning here" I said kissing her head. We sat together in silence just feeling each others presence and getting our tanks filled with each other.

"I'm going to see Hartly" I said after a while

"Ok" she said playing with a thread from the jagged edges of the sweats that had been cut off for my cast "I think that's a good idea"

"I realize I need help with my anger" I told her and I was just now going to keep my spot on Rangers team, I saw that I needed help.

"I support you in anything you think you need to do"

"I also think you would benefit as well"

"Cal I'm ok now. When I told you everything in the conference room, I have felt so much better" she said. I saw this was going to go no where so I stopped this line of questioning. I didn't want to upset her, maybe in time she will agree to come with me.

"So what happened today?" I asked changing topics

"I had a tip that Mays liked to eat his lunch everyday in the park, so I went there, spotted him, and he spotted me. He took off running and I chased after him. I was running around walkers on the path and as I dodged an old man with a cane, I collided with a kid on a skate board"

"Steph" I said. It's incredible how much stuff she can get into. I can't think of one time something hadn't blown up or she was roughed up somehow.

"The kid's fine" she said "he got up, looked down at me, and then rode off, guess they are used to falling"

"He didn't even stay to see if you were ok?" I asked not believing you wouldn't see a woman laying there and not be courteous to see if she was ok.

"No he just gave me a look and left"

"Punk" I growled

"You are gonna have to stop that" she said twirling the thread from my thigh between her fingers.

"What?" I asked

"You can't fly off the handle every time something happens or someone says something you don't like to me, it's the nature of our jobs"

"I feel so helpless. If I didn't have these things on I would have been out there helping you and you wouldn't have gotten hurt"

"No you wouldn't have because I wouldn't have asked you to come with me. Cal I don't need you to come and flight my battles, I'm a big girl, I worked before we got together and I'm going to continue to do so now that we are together. I also needed to get away from you, Ranger, and the whole situation in the office" she said and I think I stopped breathing when I heard her.

"You needed to get away from us? From me?" I asked not understanding why she would want to get away from me. It was me she has been running to and me she has been staying by the last month.

Steph let out a long breath, I could see she was trying hard not to go off the handle herself "Yes" she said "I walked in to that meeting blind and was then told that I needed to see a therapist by Ranger. He didn't know anything that had been going on, he was gone the whole time. The only people I told was you and Bobby" she said letting that hang out there.

"Ranger was told by one of you and when I asked if you thought I should see the therapist you agreed that I did" she said

"Steph only because I saw what this has been doing and has done to you" I told her

"I had to get out of there because I felt a little betrayed by you or Bobby and hurt because you all wont believe me when I say I'm ok now. I haven't had a nightmare and I feel a lot better now after unloading"

I felt horrible hearing her say she felt betrayed by either me or Bobby, God what will she say or do if she finds out it was both of us telling Ranger about her. I know she suspects me and that's why even though we are here cuddling on the couch I can feel a distance between us. Ranger told her he had met with me last night and never revealed that Brown was there also, so I know it's me that she suspects of spilling her secret. We wouldn't ever intentionally do so just to do it; Brown never told me anything even when I told him that I knew something was wrong with her. We felt we had to talk so that we could get our little girl the help she needed.

"Steph we just want to help you" I said and she looked up at me

"Then believe me" she said and after a moment I nodded my head

After a few minutes, Steph disentangled herself from me and stood up wincing a little from the sting in her leg "you ok?" I asked

"Yea, just gotta a little pins and needles feeling going on" she said slipping her sandals on

"You going somewhere?" I asked

"Yes, I'm going to go see Bobby to see if I can get some supplies for my leg because I don't think I have any at my place and then I'm going home" She said and I jumped up from the couch, well jumped as much as I could.

"Home?" I asked coming over to her

"Yep, how else and I going to prove to you and to Ranger that I am ok? I am going back to my apartment and I'm going to sleep there" she said moving to the door

"You're not going to stay here?"

"No"

"Steph you don't have to do this" I told her

"Yes I do, you will see and for me also"

"I said I believed you"

"I know, but I have to do this" she said

Steph opened the door to my apartment to leave. I came up to her and looked down into her eyes and saw sadness there when she looked up at me. I didn't want her to leave, I wanted to hold her, love her, and have the warm fuzzies that I have been having with her. I didn't like that she was hurt by my actions even though it was needed. Steph kissed me on the cheek instead of the mouth.

"I'll see you in the morning" she said starting down the hall

"Steph if you need me tonight" I called to her

"I know" she said stepping onto the elevator


	22. Chapter 22

There is an old saying that people sometimes say, silence is golden, even an old famous singer sang about it. Right now however as I sit alone in my apartment waiting to see if Steph was gonna call me to tell me she was ok or not, I didn't think silence was to golden. I sat and thought about if she was struggling and just being to proud to admit she needed help and I hated that she wasn't here and had felt that I had betrayed her. Checking my phone for the hundredth time for any texts or calls even though I would have known if she had from alerts my phone would do, I picked up my TV remote and began to flip through the channels.

There was nothing that held my attention through the hundreds of channels that I have, I needed something to distract my mind. Looking around to see what I could get myself into I see my computer case sitting next to my TV, getting it and turning it on, I continued my search for a tattoo artist that was in the area. You would think with having a tattoo like I do that I would already know and have a place I go to, but I don't I only have the one tat and it was dine until now. Looking at the few shops that came up in my search, I carefully read each of their pages, and picked one that had the best reviews. After I had completed my search and called the guy to explain my situation, I had an appointment for tomorrow morning. When I hung up the phone, I checked it again to see that while I was on it id Steph might have called or left me a message, seeing nothing I went back into silence until a knock came to my door.

"Steph" I said as I thought she had come back. I hurried as fast as I could to the door, I was worried on what I would find when I opened the door. I readied myself to pull her too me when I saw her.

"You ok?" I rushed out before seeing who was exactly at my door

"I'm fine how about you?" Santos asked with a smirk

"Santos"

"Expecting someone?" he asked

"I thought… Never mind" I said walking back inside my apartment allowing him to come in.

"Hey man I'm off work and thought we'd grab a few beers at my place"

"Uhhh I don't think so sorry" I said. I wanted to stay here in case Stephanie called or came back

"All right if you change your mind you know where I'm at" he told me as he walked out and headed down to his place.

Later I was still sitting and checking my phone thinking about Steph. It was late enough I knew she was probably going to bed; I hated the thought that as she lay down she would have those dreams again. It killed me to see her in my mind laying there tossing and turning when she could be here with me.

"Agggg she's so stubborn" I called out laying my head back against my couch and rubbing a hand down my face. Frustrating myself and feeling helpless that I couldn't do anything but sit here and wait, I began thinking about Santos's offer. Between sitting here checking my phone and killing myself thinking on Steph a beer with Les did sound pretty good. Getting up from my couch, I made my way down the hall and knocked on his door.

"Your offer still stand?" I asked when he opened the door. Les handed me the fresh beer he had in his hand and went back to his fridge for another.

"How are you?" he asked as we sat down on his couch

"Good, the pain is almost gone in my ribs. They only hurt if they get jarred" I said remembering the pain I got when Ranger slammed me up against the wall earlier.

"Ribs are a bitch to heal" Les said taking a pull from his beer "How long for the casts?"

"About two weeks"

"Bobby'll have you doing some PT when he gets them off" he told me. Les was speaking from experience, not to long ago Les had injured his ankle and Bobby had him doing PT three times a week for about six weeks.

"Yea that's what he told Ranger after you guys left" I told him taking a big swallow of my own drink.

"Yea what happened with that, he asked you guys to stay"

Usually we don't question what Ranger wanted with us, but I guess we are like women we talk amongst ourselves "He wanted to be brought up to speed on how I was doing and then he suggested I see Hartly"

"You going too?" Les asked

"At first I wasn't because I felt this was something Hartly didn't need to have, but then Ranger said if I didn't go I couldn't be on the team any longer. He wasn't firing me, he just wouldn't allow me to be in on meetings, take downs, or other core team things, so I agreed to go as long as Steph went with me" I told him and the mention of her name Les sat up and looked at me.

"Steph?" he asked his voice laced with concern

"Yea, you remember you thought something wasn't right with her that time in my hospital room when you took her down to eat?" I asked and he nodded his head that he remembered "You were right"

I explained to Les everything I has seen as I was with her in the hospital room and then how strange I found her acting when I went home. I told him about eavesdropping on her and Bobby's conversation and then knew that I was right in suspecting something was wrong. I didn't go into detail about yelling at her and Bobby telling me some of the things that had happened, I just told him that I knew she had confided into him when I was doing x-rays. I then filled him in on what Steph confessed to me in the conference room. After I was done, Les put his empty beer bottle down on his little coffee table and shook his head.

"She does need help" he said and I nodded "Hartly's good, he has helped me out with an issue I had. What is Ranger saying?" he asked

"He agreed that she needed help and told me that Hartly usually sees people one on one, but with us he might make an exception since we go together with the same issues"

"Yea, does Steph know how you all feel?"

"Yea Ranger met with us this morning" I said slipping my phone out of my pocket to check if she had sent me anything and once again my screen was blank "And she isn't to happy with us. She told us she was fine now that she told me everything in the conference room, but I'm just not so sure"

"Could she be?" Les asked wanting to give her the benefit of the doubt. No one wanted anything to be wrong with Steph, but I think this was just too traumatic to just get over.

"Maybe anything's possible, but doubtful" I answered

"Where is she I haven't gotten to see her since coming back and getting back into the swing of things" he asked "Is there anything I can do?" he asked knowing he and her were pretty close.

"She left my apartment a few hours ago to prove to me and Ranger that she was ok. She went back to her place to sleep to show us. She also feels that I have betrayed her by telling Ranger on her, but I wasn't the only one, Brown spoke up as well"

"You know if she ever finds out it was Bobby as well she will flip"

"Yea" I said my mind going to her

"It hurts that she feels that way about me when we have grown so close in our relationship. When she left she wouldn't even kiss me, she only gave me a peck on the cheek"

"Yea wait relationship, kisses… what?" Les asked snapping his head in my direction

"Steph and I are seeing each other now" I told him. Ranger's words of warning echoed through my head about Santos wanting to be with Steph and how he might react to the news. He was gonna have to find out sometime better now then seeing us doing any PDA in the office.

"You're together?"

"Yea, we grew closer and closer through this ordeal and then she told me in the conference room that she loved me and we kissed" I said. When I told him you could feel the tension kick up in the room. If Lester wanted to hurt me he wouldn't have to put in a lot of energy to do so. Les was quiet and I have learned from years of knowing him that a quiet Les is a Les you need to be scared of. Finally he moved and stood up.

"You hurt her or make her cry in anyway" he said using a voice I've only heard come out when we were in missions together or dealing with some pretty bad guys. It comforted me a little thinking he may have used this voice while he dealt with Gustov and his men.

"I know and I won't intentionally do it" I assured him. Ranger also had warned me pretty much of the same thing.

"I'll be watching you" he said

"I'd expect nothing less"

"Another beer?" he asked walking passed me

"Yea" I said letting out a breath when he went into the kitchen


	23. Chapter 23

The next morning instead of it being Steph not able to sleep, it was me that hardly got any sleep worrying about her. Laying there in bed my phone rang, thinking it was Steph I hurried and grabbed it, but saw it was an in house number. I got a call from Manny who was manning the desk in the lobby and was told that there was someone there for me. He asked if I knew about this and if it was ok to allow him to come up, I assured him that the guy was ok and heard him tell him to take the elevator up to the fourth floor and gave him my apartment number. While I was waiting for the tattoo artist to come up, I glanced over to the wall clock and thought about Steph. She had never came back last night and I was wondering how she had done. The only thing I heard from her was a text back saying goodnight when I texted her the same thing after I got back from Lester's. I was brought out of my thoughts by a heavy knock to my door.

"Cal?" the guy asked when I opened the door

"Yea thanks for coming" I told the heavily tattooed man

"Show me where I can set up and what it is that you need"

I took him into the middle of the living room and dragged a chair from the table to sit in. He went about opening his big black case and took out all of the equipment and poured some inks into a few small cups that he figured he would be using. I sat down in the chair and watched him as he pulled on a pair of plastic purple gloves.

"The last time I did this, I was drunk with a bunch of buddies on leave" I told him

"A lot of people have done it that way" he said coming over to me "So you said something about needing a tat fixed?"

"Yea the one on my head. As you can see I've been in an accident and my tat has been all jacked up"

He placed his hands on my face and began to turn it this way and that looking at my forehead from all types of angles. I then felt his gloved finger touch the tattoo and figured he was feeling the cut places that had messed up my tat.

"Can you fix it?" I asked when he stepped back

"Yea it shouldn't be any problems" he said taking up his gun and turning it on "Hold on this is gonna hurt my friend" he said and I gripped my knee with my hand. Just as he was about to touch the gun to my head my door opened and Stephanie walked in.

"Cal" she called out and then stopped when she saw me in the chair and a guy standing next to me.

"Hold on" I told him and motioned for her to come to me "you ok?" I asked her worried but glad she was finally here.

"I'm great" she said looking over at the guy who was trying to give us a little bit of privacy

"Any nightmares?" I asked quietly and saw her eyes dart away from me. I didn't want to really get into this while I had my tat guy here, it was none of his business, but I really had to know.

"No not a one" she said pushing her hair behind her ears "I told you I was fine"

Something told me she was lying; she wouldn't look me in the eye. It hurt me that she would hide something that was hurting her just to prove a point that she didn't have to go see a therapist. For now I wasn't going to let on that I knew she wasn't telling me the truth, she was just gonna have to come to terms with herself that she needed help. We knew what she needed and wanted to help her, but we wouldn't force her to do anything if she said she didn't want to go.

"What's going on?" she asked looking back to the guy who was waiting on us

"I'm getting my tat fixed"

"Ohh well I won't be in the way, I'll come back later" she said bending over and kissing my cheek

"You don't have to leave" I said taking her wrist halting her "It'll probably just be a few hours"

"Ok" she said nodding her head. As I watched her standing in front of me, I noticed Steph couldn't stand still. It was like she was nervous or something.

Not wanting to get into a discussion about it now or God forbid an argument, because I wanted to repair our relationship not further fracture it, I decided to wait until we had some time alone. Steph went over to the couch to watch and the artist cam back over and turned on the gun.

"Oooh" I heard when the needle touched my forehead. Steph had seen me jump and squeeze my knee.

"You ok Steph?" I asked

"Does it hurt?" she asked

"Like hell" I told her trying not to squint my eyes so that my forehead wouldn't wrinkle.

"You want one?" the guy asked her "I can give it to you after I finish with him"

"No I'm good" she said and I smiled. I have no objection to anyone having tats, but since Steph didn't have one already, I didn't want her to mark her beautiful skin, she was perfect.

After the first hour, I had a lot of dirty colored paper toweling covering me and probably littering my floor. With my military training and countless monitor shifts, I was able to sit here with no problems; Steph on the other hand was another story. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Steph begin to clean my coffee table and when that was done she got up, picked up the paper towels that were on me and then the ones on the floor. Throwing them away, I heard clinking and rustling in my kitchen. What was she doing in there? Steph was flittering around my apartment like a little mad hummingbird.

"Hey I'm going up stairs to get some coffee, you want anything?" she asked getting finished doing whatever it was she had been doing.

"Yea grab us some lunch" I told her

"Would you like anything?" she asked the artist

"No, but thanks" he told her and Steph left

"I don't think she should have coffee" I said thinking of how "energetic" she had been this morning, they guy doing my tat grinned.

Stephanie didn't come back right away and I wondered what had happened to her. It didn't really matter that she hurried back since I couldn't eat anyways until I was done, but I wondered just the same.

"Hey man, ooooh getting some ink? Niccce" Santos asked coming in

"Getting my ink fixed" I corrected him

"I saw Steph upstairs" he said and I began to worry. If Les had said something to her regarding what I had told him last night, she would probably break up with me for sure for telling on her again.

"You didn't say anything to her did you?" I asked

"I just asked her how she was doing"

"Well what do you think?" I asked him knowing he was looking her over for any signs of what I had told him.

"Seeing her today she looks good. She was in the kitchen talking and laughing with Hal and Ramon" he told me "man doesn't that hurt?"

"I'm numb now"

"Ahh well I'm headed out" Lester said walking out

"Later man" I called after him

A while later Steph came back in carrying coffee and sandwiches. My artist was finishing up and then applied some ointment to the freshly fixed tattoo. He gave me a mirror to see his work and I was pleased with the job that he had done. Paying him when he had cleaned up and put his tools away, he quietly left leaving me and Steph alone.

"Hey" I said coming up behind her in the kitchen, she was placing sandwiches on plates. I wrapped my arm around her resting my hand on her stomach. We haven't really been romantic with each other yet and this felt nice.

"Hey" she said leaning back into me. I so badly wanted to kiss her so I did. Lowering my head to the side of her neck, I began kissing her neck up and down.

"Mmmm" she moaned encouraging me

"I think you're so beautiful" I whispered to her, Steph turned in my arms and looked at me. You could see she didn't want to be mad at me, but she was still hurt from me telling Ranger about her situations. Before I could try and kiss her, Steph wrapped her arms around my waist and laid her head onto my chest. Holding her to me I kissed the top of her head. Whatever it is she needs from me, I am very willing to give.


	24. Chapter 24

Over the next several days I got stronger and was not having to rely on the cane that I had as much, but while I was regaining my strength Stephanie's seemed to be deteriorating. Every night after she would work and come to see me for a while, she would leave and go home to further prove to us that she was fine, and then come back in the morning. Each morning when she returned she seemed to be flying high like she was when she came into the room when I got my tat fixed. Lester who was away with the team that went after Gustov when Steph started acting strange even commented on how she was so jumpy and twitchy lately.

"I have seen her leave your place sometimes and she has looked so exhausted just able to make it home, then when she comes in the next morning she is all buzzing and smiles. Are you sure she is having nightmares, because she looks fine except her buzzing around" he asked stretching his legs out and laying his heels on my coffee table.

"I'm almost positive she is" I told him "have you ever known Steph to come in like that?"

"No, actually Stephanie isn't a morning person at all, we all know that" he said encountering the wrath of Steph a few times when he would tease her as she came in and wasn't quite fully awake yet.

"Exactly" I said stating my point. She has never been this happy smiley before, something just wasn't right.

"I don't know" Les said shaking his head "still no on Hartly?"

"I'm not bringing it up to her anymore. I'm still trying to get our relationship off the floor"

"She's still upset over Ranger?"

"Yea, but she is now allowing me to touch her and hold her. I think she is slowly forgiving me" I said still wishing she would let me kiss her.

"We'll I better go, I have monitor shift tonight" he told me

"That sucks" I snorted. Even though I would like to be back out there, I still hated to have over night monitor duty. Sitting there all night long blows, usually nothing happens, but you have to be super aware just incase.

"Yea, yea" he said going out the door. I knew he was just bidding his time when he could rag me. I knew when I got my casts off that Ranger would probably allow me to do monitor duty since I wouldn't be useful anywhere else till I'm cleared, so Santos knows he will get his chance to get even when that happens. It will feel good to go back to work; I will feel like I'm getting a piece of myself back. I know I have a lot of work ahead of me emotionally and physically, but would be in it for the long haul.

I sat back with my water bottle and stretched out like Santos had done. I let my mind wander over to Steph, I really wish she would agree to go with me just to have someone other then us to talk to, but she still insists that she's fine and still "proving" to me and to Ranger that she is ok. I had no proof that she was actually having the nightmares, but history tell me when she acted off before there was something going on and like she said I am good at solving puzzles, I intend to figure this one out.

The last time this all had gone on she had gone to Bobby while I was having my last x-rays and confided in him. Remembering this, I called down to the exam room where I figured he would probably be at this time of day.

"Brown" I said when he picked up "Can you come up to my room?"

"What's up?" he asked and I could hear him scrambling around in the background

"Nothing I just want to discuss something with you"

"Be there in five" he said and disconnected

Bobby knocked on my door minutes later and came in when I yelled for him to do so. As he walked in he took a few seconds to look around my apartment and I knew he was looking for Steph. Motioning for him to sit in the chair in front of me, I sat up and told him why I had called him up.

"She's not here" I told him of Steph

"She's pretty late isn't she? I've seen her coming in earlier now"

"Yea" I said looking at my watch, myself worried about her lateness "But I don't want to call her incase…" I said and watched Browns eyebrows shoot up his head.

"In case what?" he asked

"The reason I called you here is I was wondering if Steph has talked to you about anything recently"

"Talked to me?"

"Yea you remember she confided in you about the dreams and not being able to sleep. I knew something was going on with her and begged you to tell me, but you didn't and wouldn't"

"Because I was confided in, look you and all the guys here trust me to keep things that you say or have to myself. Now if I blabbed everything that I was told, I wouldn't be a good medic now would I?" he asked

"I understand, but now since we both know about Steph, I think we both can feel free to share when we think or know if something's wrong in this particular situation" I told him

"You think something's wrong don't you?" he asked leaning forward

"I don't have any proof that it is, but I believe in my gut and its telling me she isn't sleeping again"

"She's not been staying here with you?" he asked

"No ever since Ranger told her he felt she needed to see Hartly with me, she has gone home each night to "Prove" that she is ok now. She tells me that ever since she confessed to me about everything, she feels better"

"It is possible" Bobby said "it is possible that after she let out everything she had been holding that she does feel better"

"Yea, but she's acting strange again and the last time she did this was when she told you and hid it from me" I told him

I loved Stephanie and wanted to be the man she came too when she was afraid or worried about something. I want her to feel and know that I would protect her and am the man she can come too, to be totally open and honest about what's going on in both our lives. Our relationship depends on this and if she keeps hiding things from me it's not going to amount to anything.

"How is she acting?" Bobby asked me

I explained to Bobby how Steph had come in when I was getting my tat fixed and how she just couldn't sit still and went flying like a mad bumblebee around my apartment cleaning everything she could find. I then told him that Les said she was down in the kitchen laughing and talking to Ramon and Hal and how she has been coming in all smiles and flying.

"Even Santos who has not been influenced by her earlier behaviors has commented about her being so jumpy" I said and Bobby sat in silence as he thought on what I had told him.

"You know she doesn't act like that. When she comes in, in the mornings, Steph is like the night of the living dead, so for her to be all that bouncy and chipper it has to be something. Has she talked to you?" I asked. Bobby scratched his cheek.

"No she hasn't. I've only asked her inn passing how her leg is doing and she told me it was getting better" he informed me

I was at a dead end; Bobby had been the only thing I could think of. It was killing me that I couldn't help her and it was pissing me off that she would do this to herself just to say see I'm ok when I know she isn't. I'm at a loss, I don't know what else to do, I don't want to confront her, because we are just now getting back some of the closeness we had. If I bring it up to her, it could make her run and never get the help she needs. Knowing my thoughts Brown spoke up.

"You can't force her"

"I know, she has to want to go on her own"

"Yep, but we are there to pick her up when it all goes to hell"

"But it doesn't have to go to hell" I told him and he just shrugged. We all were between a rock and a hard place concerning our favorite girl.

"This is so much harder than the dirt bags we get out of the bars" I said and Bobby laughed

"Well we know what they are thinking, they're predictable" he said his laughing dieing when the door opened again

I turned around and looked over the back of my couch to see who was coming into my apartment. Steph stepped through the door and my jaw dropped, she was dressed all in black; her RangeMan uniform, big black sunglasses on her face, hair pulled back into a messy ponytail, and a black RangeMan ball cap pulled low on her head. Steph looked like she was in hiding and didn't want to be recognized.

I jumped up and walked over to her, when I reached her I asked if someone was after her since she looked like she was hiding form someone, but she shook her head. I reached for the glasses and she turned her head not allowing me to touch them. "Steph" I said worried something had happened and knowing she was hiding something behind them.

I reached for the glasses again and this time lifted them from her eyes, what I saw made my heart hurt and confirm any questions I had. Steph's eye were red and bloodshot and under them was black, she had tried to cover them with make up, but had missed a few spots allowing me to see them. She sure wasn't the jumpy, chipper woman that has been coming around the last few days.

"Oh Steph" I said and her eyes filled with tears

"I cant…Its not…" she choked out

"Shhh" I said crushing her to me. I looked over at Bobby who was now standing watching us. He asked me a silent question and from my look he hurried over to us and took her wrist into his hand.

"Her pulse is racing, sit her down, and I'll be right back" he said running from my apartment. We sat down on my couch and Steph tried to talk to me, but couldn't through the tears.

"Shhh honey" I told her holding her to my side "don't talk now, we will later" I told her kissing her hair. I was praying as we waited on Bobby to return that this was the wake up call she needed to see that she needed help.


	25. Chapter 25

A/N I am not a nurse but I did some looking up of what Steph will be diagnosed with in this chapter, but I also have taken some liberties as well to fit what I wanted.

C/S C/S

When Brown came back he ran into the room carrying his black medics bag. I had seen that bag come out to play more times than I can remember. He knelt down in front of us and grabbed the stethoscope; he placed it around his neck, and looked up at Steph.

"I need to check you over, can I listen to your chest?" he asked her placing his hands on top of her knees in a soothing manner and it struck me how different it was when he was dealing with one of us. We didn't get all the special treatment we were basically told to man up and suck it up. Steph nodded her head and he placed the ear pieces into his ears and placed the other side in between her breasts.

"Stephanie" he said taking out the eat buds and draping the scope around his neck. I knew with how he was saying her full name and the blank serious look he had on his face it wasn't going to be good. "What have you taken, what are you on?" he asked

Was Bobby serious? Was he actually thinking Steph would take drugs just to prove a point? Yes she is stubborn but to go that far I didn't think so. I watched as Steph looked down at Bobby "I haven't taken anything" she said. I believe her when she said she hadn't taken any drugs, but seeing how she was I got upset because there was something obviously going on.

"Tell him" I snapped beside her and she jumped

Taking a deep breath and slowly letting it out she confessed "I can't sleep" she said and I closed my eyes. I knew this was happening I knew she wasn't sleeping, but even being sleep deprived she was acting even stranger. There had to be more to this story than she was telling.

"I tried to sleep the first night but the dreams came back, so in the mornings I would have a couple energy drinks to keep me alert and awake during the day" she said and my eyes widened in surprise. She was drinking energy drinks that were primarily made of sugar and caffeine, that explained a lot. That's why she has been flying around my apartment and the office and then I know she drank our coffee through out the day.

"Bobby she's also been drinking our coffee upstairs during the day" I told him and Brown took out an Ipad and began searching. I waited for him to say something, I had one eye on him and the other on Steph.

"SHIT" he said and jumped up and ran to the door

"What?" I asked panicked. When he came back in I saw that he had dragged Les in with him.

"We have an emergency here and I need you to do just as I say" he said and Les nodded. Lester may play but when there is something serious going down no one is more focused than Lester Santos.

"I need to get an ambulance here right away. Steph has to get to a Hospital NOW, so call nine one one and tell them to come up here to the apartment" Brown said and I looked at Steph, She didn't look like she was in dire need of ER attention. I felt my own heart start to race and heard blood whooshing in my ears.

"NO" Steph yelled when she heard what Bobby had told Les

"Sweetie" he said in a very gentle and caring voice, one I never knew he had "you have to go, I can treat you and you need help right away" he told her and looked back over to Les, Steph gripped my arm.

"And Ranger" Brown said as Les ran out of the room

"Cal" Steph said looking up at me with worried eyes

"Brown what the fuck is going on?" I asked wanting answers

"I think she has overdosed" he told us and I looked down at her. Steph didn't look like some of the people we've carried out of apartments that they have made into drug dens.

"On what?" I asked but Steph stopped me before he could answer

"I don't want to go to the hospital, I don't need too" she said "I haven't taken anything"

"Yes you do" Bobby said more firmly

"No I'm all right" she said and I noticed her hand started to shake

"Brown" I said getting his attention, when he looked I motioned down to her hand.

Bobby knelt back down in front of her and picked up her hands and held them in his own. I was in awe at how they wouldn't lay in his hands and how uncontrollable they were in shaking. Bobby shook his head, whatever was going on it wasn't good and it had Bobby worried. I heard someone come in and Ranger rushed over and knelt down next to Brown.

"Explain" he ordered as he placed a hand to her cheek

"EMT's are on their way up" Les ran in and announced

"NO!" Steph yelled again getting agitated "I don't need the hospital" she said and sweat began to run down her face, her breathing became ragged.

"Steph" I called to get her to calm down

"Babe"

"SHIT SHE'S CRASHING FAST" Bobby yelled running to find the EMT's "In here" he said bringing two guys with a gurney into my apartment.

"Female in her thirties" he said giving her stats to the responders

"I can't breath" Steph said bringing her hands up to her chest

Everything happened so fast and I barely could keep up with it all. Bobby was instructing Steph to breath in the oxygen they had put her on as the EMT's belted her onto the bed and wheeled her out of my apartment. What the hell had just happened?

"I'm going with Steph, you get there as soon as you can" he told me. I watched as he took off out the door and then I felt Ranger's hand on my shoulder.

"Let's go" he said and I numbly nodded my head

By the time Lester, Ranger, and I got to the garage the monster inside of me was roaring. The woman that I loved was just taken from my home on a stretcher and was taken to a hospital. I had no fucking clue what had happened to her and again with these stupid things on it took me forever to get down to the cars to get to her. Ranger and Lester could have left my injured ass behind, but there was no way I was staying and they knew it.

"What the hell is going on?" Ranger asked breaking his driving in silent rule

"I don't know she came in all dressed in black with big black sunglasses on and a hat pulled low on her head. It looked as if she was hiding from someone. Bobby took her pulse and then all hell broke loose" I told him

"What has she been doing?" he asked swerving to miss a mini van

"Not sleeping again"

"This is more than not sleeping"

"She wanted to prove to us that she was better and didn't need to go with me to see Hartly. Steph has been going home each night since then to show us she can sleep and everything was fine. I knew it wasn't, but you know Steph" I said and he nodded

"When she would come in the next mornings she was all amped up and smiley, even Santos took notice"

"She couldn't sit still" he said from the back seat

"She told me and drown before everything happened that she couldn't sleep so in the mornings she would drink energy drinks, but she also had our coffee throughout the day in the office" I told them

"Dammmmn no wonder she's buzzing, she's all caffeine" Les said

"No shit" Ranger said screeching into the hospital lot

"Santos be with him, I'll find Bobby" Ranger said getting out of the car and ran into the hospital. This irked me to no end; I was the boyfriend not him and should be there first on the scene. But yet again I'm hindered and held back by my stupid injuries.

"Whoa man you better reel that shit in before you go in there" Les said helping me out of the truck, I glared at him.

"I should be first" I told him

"Him and her got a lot of history, you're gonna have to accept us in her life"

"Yea, but right now she needs me"

"Look we're all here for her and Ranger can get shit done. Let him do his thing and when you get there you do you're thing all right?" he asked

"Do I have a choice?"

"Not unless you wanna make things worse for her and you" he said as the hospital's automatic doors swished open in front of us.

Inside we found Ranger standing outside of a room and when he saw us walking up he placed his finger up to his mouth telling us to be quiet. We listened to the hum of voices but we were unable to make out anything they were saying. I looked around the hall and saw that the only people that were there were the three of us, Bobby was no where to be found.

"Where's Brown?" I asked

"There" Ranger said pointing to the door

As if he knew we were there and talking about him the door of the room opened and Bobby walked out. He placed his back against the wall and let out a breath he seemed he had held for a while.

"Stephanie has overdosed on caffeine" he told us and all out attentions were on him

"It causes her heart to be out of control and they have her on meds to help that, it also makes her BP sky high and they are giving her meds for that as well. She is agitated, confused, and jittery" he said

"Is she going to be ok?" Ranger asked

"Yea she should be but…" he said and then stopped

"What?" I asked wanting him to just say what he knew

"The treatment is not pretty and she is being combative in letting them do it. Her stomach is toxic and they need to wash it out and by doing so she needs to purge what's in her system"

"How do they do that?"

"They need to run a line through her nose into her stomach and administer the meds that way. The medication will induce vomiting" he said and we all grimaced.

"Well do it" we all said

"She won't allow it, she's fighting it"

"Knock her out?" I asked

"Cant as soon as the meds hit her she's gonna puke and we need her awake to do that" Brown said.

As he got finished explaining to us what was wrong with Stephanie and what needed to be done we all heard a blood curdling scream come from the room. We all ran in and saw Steph in bed struggling with the doctors and nurses, the monster inside of me let loose with a loud roar.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" I yelled walking up to the bed

"Cal" I heard, but this time I wasn't going to let anything get in the way this time.

"Sir we need to work on her" a nurse said, but when I looked at her she stepped back and said nothing more. I stepped on up to the bed pleased that I still hadn't lost the ability to shut someone up with just a look, it felt so good to be able to do that again.

"Cal" Steph said when she saw me. She looked so pitiful with her eyes wide and her hair soaked in sweat matted down to her head.

"Hey Honey" I said kissing the side of her head

"Was I kidnapped this time?" she asked and I didn't understand why she would ask me something like that.

"She's confused as to why she's here" another nurse bravely told me

I placed my arm around her the best I could and told her that she needed to let the doctors treat her. Tears fell down her cheeks as I swore to her that I and the others would not leave her that she never left me when I was in here and I would do the same for her.

"I don't this she will want us in here when she starts to clean out her stomach" Brown said when I had to step away from the bed so they could perform the procedure.

"Can you handle it?" Ranger asked me

"I'm not leaving her" I said and they all nodded. Before the meds were administered each of the guys spoke to her and kissed her.

"Meds in" the doctor announced "Miss. Plum in a bit you're gonna feel sick to you're stomach, that's ok that is what we want and we want it to happen a lot"

"Ok"

Everyone left to allow Steph to rest before the meds took affect. Ranger, Bobby, and Les took up camp down the hall in the small waiting room and I took up camp next to her bed. I looked over at her as she rested and heard a loud grumble come from her stomach, Steph's eyes snapped open and she leapt forward grabbing the basin the nurse had left.

"Oh God" she said and began violently throwing up. I hit the nurses call button to alert them that she had started. Over the next several hours Steph puked, heaved, and gagged. By the time it was over she was exhausted.

"Rest Honey I'm right here" I said placing my hand over hers.


	26. Chapter 26

When Stephanie was finished throwing up and was empty, the nurses that had been in with her cleaned her and her bed up and placed her back in to bed to rest. Before they left they gave her some meds to settle her stomach and some to help her sleep, I watched as her eyes dropped closed and heard her breathing even out. When I knew she was asleep I kissed her head and went out to find the guys.

I closed the door behind me and walked across the hall to the nurses' desk, I had a couple of questions that I needed answered before I left to find Ranger. One of the nurses that were taking care of Steph noticed me and came up to me.

"Can I help you with something?" she asked me

"Yea I was wondering how long you thought Steph would sleep?" I asked

"Well we gave her something for her stomach and some meds to help her sleep so she can rest due to the fact she's sore from all the vomiting"

"Would be ok if I went off for a bit to get something to eat?"

"Oh sure she will be out for a few hours at least" the nurse said

"Thank you" I told her turning to walk off

"Sir" the nurse said stopping me, I turned back to see what she needed. When I looked back at her she took a step back and bit into her lower lip.

"Forgive me for asking, but we noticed you're in casts and wondered if everything is ok?"

"Oh yea everything is fine, I had an accident at work. I'm actually getting them off next week" I told her. I thought being kind to her was the way to go; she was already afraid of me and was taking care of Stephanie so telling her to get lost and mind her own business didn't seem appropriate.

"Ok if you need anything just ask" she said and I smiled and nodded to her as I left the desk

I walked down the hall and stopped when it opened into the small waiting room. I looked around and saw that the only people in the room were the guys. Lester sat with his legs stretched out in front of him and had his head back laying against the wall, Bobby was over by the coffee pot filling his cup, and Ranger was standing over by the window looking out. I took a brief moment to think about how this was what they must have looked like when it was me that was in here and in the coma, walking on in to the room Brown noticed me.

"Hey how is she?" he asked coming over to me. I knew it had to be killing him that he couldn't help her. Ranger heard Bobby and came over to us and Lester picked up his head.

"Man it was rough; she finally has stopped puking and is now resting. They came in and gave her something to settle her stomach and to help her sleep" I told them

"She asleep?" Bobby asked

"Yea and I'm starving. They assured me she would be out for a while"

"Downstairs cafeteria?" Les asked

"Sure" I said and we all walked out of the room and found the elevators

We walked into the twenty four hour hospital cafeteria and made our selections. I thought about going back and getting something for Steph when she woke up, but I wasn't sure how she would feel about seeing food right now. She had told me after throwing up for the hundredth time that her throat hurt, but when I suggested some ice water she turned green and denied it. Sitting down when I got my food we all began eating.

"You think Beautiful will see Hartly now?" Santos asked opening his bottle of water

"I don't know there hasn't been much talk since the throwing up has stopped" I told them taking a bite of my sandwich

"Well she probably really can't and doesn't want too. Steph is probably sore for heaving and has been through the ringer. Doing what she had to is hard on a body" Brown said

"Yea, I'd like for her to go with me" I told them " But I don't know what she thinks now about it and she still has the right to say no and I'll have to accept it if she does"

"But surely she sees now that she needs help, look what she just had to go through" Santos said

"I don't know what she is thinking, but I guess I'll just have to see how she is feeling when she wakes up" I told them and they all agreed.

We finished our meals and went back upstairs. I sat out with the guys in the waiting room as each of them took a turn to go back and say goodnight to Steph. It was nice to get out of the room for a little bit, but I knew when Ranger and the guys left I was settling in for a long night of waiting.

"You staying?" Ranger asked when Bobby came back from his turn in seeing Steph

"As long as she is here I'll be here" I told him and he nodded

"Take care of her" he said locking eyes and hands with me

"I am and will" I promised

"Call me if anything happens, I'll come over" Brown said when he was leaving

"She should be out for the rest of the night, but if anything happens I'll call" I assured him

"You know right?" Les said being the last to go

"I know" I told him

"Let her know I'll come in to see her sometime tomorrow"

"I will"

I watched as they disappeared down the hall and I turned and walked up to Stephs door. Before I opened her door, I went over to the desk again and asked about food for Steph and when she would be able to go home. I was told that if her heart rate and her blood pressure continued to stabilize during the night and tomorrow she could possibly go home by late tomorrow evening. The nurse also told me that Steph would still be pretty sore and that her system would still be coming down from the high volumes of caffeine that was in her.

"She doesn't need round the clock care, but she shouldn't just be left alone at home when she leaves here. She will have some bad head aches, be jittery, and have a hard time concentrating until it all leaves her system" she said

"She won't be alone" I guaranteed the nurse. Steph was going to stay with me and if I couldn't be there then there was a whole building full of willing able bodied men who would care and watch over her. I didn't see anyone else but me doing it, but just in case they were there if needed. Stephanie was not going back to her apartment.

After talking to the nurse about Stephanie's care, she was called to another room on the floor and I went into Steph's. All the lights had been turned off except the one over the small sink that was in her room, which gave enough light for the nurses to see by when they came in to check on her. I walked up to her and kissed the side of her head and was shocked when her eyes opened and she turned her head to look at me.

"Hi there" I said happy to see her looking a little better

"Hi"

"How are you feeling?" I asked placing some hair behind her ear

"Tired, sore, and my throat hurts" she whispered

"I know just try to rest, you've had a hard day"

"Lay with me?" she asked

"I don't know Steph if I can" I told her wondering how I was going to get myself into that small bed

"Please"

I sighed knowing I was going to have too. I learned how to get myself in and out of my own bed but hospital beds are different and a lot higher than normal beds and I wasn't sure how to maneuver myself in it. Steph scooted over and watched me, I turned sideways to the bed, placed my hand on the back of the bed, and hoisted my casted leg up and into the bed I then managed to set my hip in the bed and push with my good leg and kinda rolled myself into the bed next to Steph. As I laid back and got situated, Steph scooted over and placed her arm around my waist and laid her head on my chest.

"I'm sorry" I heard her say

"Don't worry about that now honey I'm just glad you're ok" I told her kissing her on top of the head

"But I'm not" she said and I held her tighter against me

"Steph"

"I want to see Hartly, I want all of this to stop" she said. I kissed her again and smiled relived that she had finally agreed to go.

"Ok I'll let Ranger know so he can set it up"

"K" she said drifting off to sleep again. I kissed her head one last time, laid my head back on the bed, and for the first time in a long time fell asleep with a smile on my face and a sense of hope for the future.


	27. Chapter 27

All through the night as I tried to sleep, I was constantly woken up by the nurses that would come in to check on Stephanie. Steph never moved when they checked her due to the meds they gave her, but I would get a quiet sorry when I'd open my eyes to see who had come in. By the time it was five A.M. I gave up on sleep and moved to get up.

"Are you leaving?" a tired voice asked when I stood up to stretch the kinks out

"Oh hey" I said turning back to see Steph awake and looking up at me "No honey I'm not leaving, I just thought I would go get some coffee"

"You guys are always up so early" she said yawing

"Yea" I told her. Five was my usual wake up time, but that's after a nights rest, here I just can't do it anymore with the constant interruptions.

"I'll be right back, I'm going downstairs to the cafeteria" I told her kissing her cheek "you want anything?"

"No"

"Be right back" I said walking out

I took my time walking down the hall to the elevators, even though I', much stronger than I had been my bones ached from lying in the hospital bed with Steph and not getting much sleep. As I passed the nurses desk I growled to myself and hoped they wouldn't stop me for anything. I know their constant interruptions during the night were just them doing their jobs, but damn you can't get any peace. I was happy when I stepped into the elevator and the doors closed trapping me alone in the car. Laying my head back against the wall, I closed my eyes to get a minute of rest.

Getting off the elevator and walking across the hall to the all night cafeteria, I opened the door to see a few doctors and nurses sitting together talking about whatever it was they were talking about. When I walked in everyone turned to watch me, it made me feel great that people still stopped and stared when I entered a room. I still had it.

Walking through the table and chairs, I made it over to the hot beverage area and grabbed a large Styrofoam cup. As I turned the tap of the dispenser it struck me as I watched the hot liquid fill my cup that this is the stuff that had hurt Stephanie. Caffeine Intoxication is what they're calling it now, I guess it sounds better than overdose. I carry my coffee over to the cashier after adding some cream to pay, but she stopped me when I pulled out my wallet.

"Coffee's free for Doctors" she said

"But I'm not a…" I was saying but she smiled

"Coffee is free for Doctors" she said again and then I got it, she wasn't charging me.

"Thank you" I told her

"Your welcome Doctor, you look like its been a rough shift"

"Yes it has" I told her carrying my coffee over to an empty table

When I sat down I shook my head at the thought of being a doctor. I could see some one staring at me and trusting me with their problems when they catch a glimpse of the tattoo on my head. Taking a few minutes to myself before going back up to Steph, I sipped on my coffee and reflected back to Steph agreeing to go see Hartly.

Once the coffee has woken me up a little, I made my way back up to Steph's room. As I walked in, I stopped seeing Steph sitting up in Ranger's arms. He was holding her and she had her arms around his back and her head on his shoulder. I slunk back into the shadows of the door and watched them, I was a little surprised that he was here. Technically it wasn't visiting hours, but who was going to tell him or us no.

"Proud of you Babe" I heard him say and she raised her head up and smiled at him. My teeth were grinding when he leaned forward. My anger told me to go in there and yank him off the bed and away from her, but I knew better than to do that. Ranger was a force to be reckoned with and fighting him here just wouldn't be right. I watched as he placed a hand on each side of her face and kissed her forehead, I let out a slow breath and felt the anger roll off me.

"Oh excuse me" a nurse said banging me with the door. I quickly slipped up behind her to allow the illusion that I had just returned.

"I'm Sandy and I'll be your nurse this morning" she said to Steph grabbing the blood pressure cuff.

She wrapped the band around Steph's arm and began to pump on the bulb, I watched as Steph began to wince as the band began to tighten. After a few minutes of listening, Sandy smiled and told Steph that she was doing well.

"Can I go home?" Steph asked

"Well I cant tell you that, your Doctor will have to come check you, but I do know that if your BP and Heart rate stay normal and you hold down some food, you might can leave sometime later today" she told her

"I have a friend that will look after me" She told the nurse. Steph was getting anxious; I sat my coffee down and came over to her.

"Steph lets just wait until the doctor comes in ok?" I asked her and she nodded

"He will be coming in, in a bit. Would you like to try some breakfast?"

"Sure" she halfheartedly said and l looked over at Ranger

We sat around and waited, no one really said much of any thing. The only sound that could be heard was Steph moving around in the bed and finally hitting her mattress in frustration with her fists. Ranger made the move to go to her, but I had stepped forward as well. I looked over at him and he looked at me, after a few seconds he backed off and allowed me to go to her.

"Where is the damn Doctor" she said placing a hand to her throat

"Your throat still hurting?" I asked knowing it was

"Yea" she nodded

I felt something nudge my arm and looked to see Ranger was holding out a cup of ice water to me. I looked over at Steph knowing that last night she refused the water, but this was a new day and it wouldn't hurt to ask her again.

"Want to try to drink some water now?"

"Ok"

Steph sat up and I handed her the cup and the straw. She drank some water and then began to drink some more, I don't think she realized just how thirsty she really was until she started drinking.

"How are you feeling?" I asked trying to get her mind off waiting for the doctor

"A lot better, but now I got a constant headache and I'm sore all over" she said lying back on the pillow

"Yea they said you would have some and that you would still have some jitteriness from the stuff that's still in your system" I told her and Steph looked at me and then she dropped her eyes to the blanket on the bed.

"I'm going to make a call" Ranger said excusing himself giving us some time alone. Steph watched as the door closed and a tear streaked down her cheek.

"Heyyy don't cry" I said gathering her into my arms

"I'm so sorry I lied to you and made myself so sick" she sobbed

"Steph don't worry about that" I told her, I didn't want her to make herself any sicker than she was by rehashing it.

"No it wasn't right to lie to you and it wasn't good for our relationship if we still have one?"

"Of course we still have one" I told her. I know as we got together we haven't had smooth sailing, but I wasn't gonna give up on us. She had been by me at my lowest point and I was going to be by her at her lowest.

"I do love you Cal and I'm sorry I got mad at you for telling Ranger on me" she said looking up at me

"Honey I just wanted you to get well. Ranger wants me to go see Hartly and I felt you would benefit as well"

"I understand that now"

"Come here" I told her pulling her to me. I wanted no doubt between us about what we were to each other anymore. I lowered my mouth to hers and kissed her. Steph gave herself over to the kiss and opened her mouth to my eager tongue.

"Ahem" we heard and broke apart. Steph and I looked over my shoulders to see the doctor that was treating Steph standing there along with Ranger, and now Bobby was added to the mix.

"Well looks like we are feeling better" the Doctor said and I moved from the bed so that he could look Steph over.

"Can I go home?" she quickly asked and we all grinned at each other

"Well you BP and heart rate has been normal all night" he said looking at her chart " If you can eat and hold it all down I'll let you go home under the care of Mr. Brown" he said and Steph smiled looking over at Bobby.

"I've briefed him on your condition and the after care you will need"

"Ok"

"I'll let the nurses know to being in some breakfast for you" he said after his examination

After he left Steph seemed a little more upbeat, I hoped it was a sign of things to come. Steph and me to get better, enjoy and expand our relationship, and get back to working and being just normal. The door opened again and a nurse brought in a tray of food.

"Oh boy" Steph said picking up a fork and looking down at the food on her tray

"Just think of going home" I said and Steph began to eat.


	28. Chapter 28

Just as the doctor promised, we were able to bring Stephanie home later that day. The condition for her to be released was that she had to eat a meal and keep it all down, she did but afterwards she looked a little green around the gills when the paperwork for her discharge was done. Bobby also had to go and sign that he was taking over her care and when he did so a chair was wheeled into the room and Steph without hesitation sat down and was ready to go.

"Oh God" She called out as we sat and waited for Brown to pull the SUV up to us.

"What's wrong?" I asked. I knelt down in front of her worried that something was wrong or that she was about to be sick.

"Stephanie what is it?" I asked as Bobby pulled the truck up and came running around it.

"Steph?" Brown asked "Talk to us, what's going on what are you feeling?"

"My head" she cried placing her hands over her face

"What about your head?"

"Its splitting in two the sun is killing me, I need some sunglasses where is my glasses?" she asked and we all looked at each other. Ranger took off the ones he was wearing, removed her hands, and slipped them onto her face.

"Babe?"

"Better, thank you" she said and he grinned back at her

Bobby went over to the truck and opened the back door for Steph; I held my hand out for her and helped her to stand from the chair. I noticed with each step she took that she would wince, I felt bad that having to throw up like he had caused everything to hurt her like it did. I know what she's gone through was hell and it made us all worry for and about her, but I was thankful she was injured or broken like I was.

We both slid into the back seat of the truck. Usually us guys wait until we are alone with the girls that we are with to be intimate or loving, but I didn't care right now who saw me, I was gonna do whatever I could to make sure Steph felt better. When I closed the door and Bobby pulled away from the curb, I turned sideways and had Steph turn and lay her head in my lap.

"Love you" I said brushing my fingers through her hair

Steph smiled up at me "Love you too" she said

"How are you feeling?"

"My head hurts and I'm sore" she answered

"Yea I know, once we get home maybe Bobby can help you out somehow" I told her

"If the headache would just lessen I would be fine" she said

"Here" I told her as I placed the pads of my finger onto her head and massaged her forehead. I felt like I was being watched, so I looked up and saw Ranger watching me from the mirror on the back of the visor and Bobby was watching me from the rearview mirror. Stupid fuckers surely if they were in my shoes they would also do what ever they could to make her comfortable.

"Ok we're here" Brown announced. I looked up and saw that we were in the RangeMan garage.

"Honey come on lets go upstairs" I told Stephanie. She looked up at me I think, it was hard to tell with Ranger's glasses on.

"Do I have to move?" she asked. If I didn't have two casts on I would have told her no and just picked her up and carried her to my apartment. But having them I couldn't play her hero, I was getting really tired of not being able to do anything.

"Fraid so" I told her and she groaned

"Steph we can go and get Cal's chair for you if you'd like?" Brown suggested but Steph shook her head no

"I feel like I need to walk" she told him getting out of the truck

We all made it onto the elevator and rode it up to the fourth floor, Steph held my hand the entire ride and laid her head on my shoulder, I leaned over and kissed her and told her that I was there for her. When the car stopped and the doors opened, Lester was waiting by my door when we made our way up the hall.

"Beautiful" he said when he saw her and pulled her to him "How you doing?"

"Ok but my head is killing me" she said

Ranger unlocked my door and we all walked in, Steph went over to my couch, placed her back against the arm, laid her head back, and moaned " My head" she said rubbing at it.

"I can help you Steph" Bobby said turning to me "Cal do you have any Tylenol or Advil?"

"Yea I think I have some in the bathroom medicine cabinet"

While Brown when to find the pain reliever, I got a small blanket from the hall closet and wrapped it around Steph. She looked at me and gave me a smile "Thank you" she said and I kissed her forehead.

"Ok Steph" Bobby said coming back and sitting in front of her on my coffee table, he took the cap off the bottle and shook four pills out into his hand

"This should help the head and the soreness" he said handing her the pills "Take it with this" he said and handed her a coke

"Uh Bobby do you think she aught to have that?" I asked and Ranger and Lester came over from where they were talking about something to see what had my attention and why I was questioning Brown.

"Yea she can have it" he said popping the drink open for her

"Have you lost your fucking mind, she just puked her guts up because of that crap"

"Cal" Ranger warned

"No that's caffeine and she just left the hospital for an overdose on that very thing" I said. I wasn't giving a crap if I pissed Bobby, Ranger, or even Lester off, I wasn't gonna stand back and let Steph have something that might make her sick again.

"It's ok" he told me

"How can it be ok?" I asked. Why in the world would he give her something full of caffeine when she was just in the hospital for being sick on caffeine? I just couldn't understand his thinking.

"Cal I trust him" Steph said taking my hand. I saw Bobby look over at her and his eyes softened.

"Bobby" Ranger said. He wanted him to explain why he was giving her the very thing that made her sick.

"Her doctor explained to me that there was still some amounts of caffeine left in her system and that she would be going through withdrawals. The bad headaches, the fuzzy thinking, stomach aches" he said "He also so told me there was a way to help her headaches and that was to allow her to get small amounts of caffeine into her system to level her off. I know it sounds strange to put back the very think they had her puking out, but if you think about it, it does make sense"

"Sense?" I asked

"Yea when you wake up and haven't had a cup of coffee you get a headache from the lack of caffeine and when you finally get to have that cup or something with caffeine in it you feel better" he said

"So she goes back to having caffeine?" I asked

"Well she never had a problem with it; she just had a few to many energy drinks and topped it off with cups of coffee. She shouldn't be afraid of it or avoid it"

"But she's fresh from the hospital" I reminded him

"And that's why she will be monitored and have small amounts only" he told me

"Cal he wouldn't hurt her you know that" Ranger said

"Beautiful what do you think?" Les asked her

"All I know is I have a killer headache and if this will help me get some relief than I'm all for it" she said "And I trust Bobby with my life he would never hurt me"

"Ok" I said clearly being out voted. My questioning of Bobby wasn't because I didn't trust him, I along with all the men in this building have the highest regards for him. In our line of work we are constantly shot at, fall down and get hurt, and we occasionally get sick, Bobby has come to our rescue and saved our asses on more than one occasion. He is a good man and a damn fine Medic. The only reason I was questioning him was it seemed odd to me to give someone the very thing that made them sick in the first place.

"You sure it's ok to take four of these?" Steph asked looking down at the four brown pills in her hand "I only ever took two"

"Yes ma'am" he assured her

"Ok here goes" she said to us all and I watched her as she tossed the pills back and take a big swallow of coke.

"Now you can have a few more drinks of that and then you have to stop" he told her and Steph nodded her head

"Usually it take thirty to forty five minutes for medicines to kick in, I'll stay here for the first hour to watch over her and if everything ok then you will know what to do next time" Bobby told me

"Next time?" I asked

"Yea it will last her I'd say about four to eight hours. You will give her more Advil and coke then, but only if her head starts killing her and I'm sure she will let you know"

"Ok"

Bobby and Ranger hung out in my apartment with Steph and me, Lester had to leave because he had to meet up with Hector to do a new install on a new client we had gotten. I sat on the couch and placed Steph's feet into my lap and wished things could be different. I was wishing that I had my casts off and that Steph was ok and that we were alone. Ever since we got together something has always kept us from being together fully. The only thing we have ever done was kiss and I'd like the chance to see what else we might like. I would just like to explore all the aspects of our relationship with out friends, co-workers, or tragedies getting in the way.

"Ranger" Steph said

"Yea Babe"

"Can you call that Therapist and see if he can come and see Cal and me tonight?" she asked

"Steph?" I asked surprised by her question

"I'm starting to feel better, the headache has gone to a dull ache and I want to start as soon as possible" she said

"But it will come back don't you want to wait a day or two?" I asked her

"No I want to feel better" she said

"Cal?" Ranger asked

"I'm fine with it I was waiting for her" I told him

"Well I'll go make a call" he said walking out of the apartment.


	29. Chapter 29

Ten Minutes later Ranger walked back into my apartment and told us that he was able to get in touch with Hartly and that since he was a good friend to us he would be willing to come and see us on a schedule that was convenient to us. Steph sat up and pulled the blanket around herself, she looked a lot better and even had some color coming back into her cheeks.

"So he will be coming tonight?" she asked him

"Yes Babe he will come and see you tonight. He is licensed and usually only sees people during office hours, but knowing us he will come after hours if that's when you can see him" he told her

"I think we can see him pretty much anytime he wants" I said looking over to Steph who was nodding her head "it was just that Steph wanted to get started right away"

"Yea anytime he wants us, we'll see him" Steph said and it felt weird to have her taking the ball and wanting to see Hartly after all the avoiding she had done. I guess this stay in the hospital really scared her and showed her that she really couldn't deny this any longer and needed help.

"Well I'm sure when you talk to him you can make arrangements with him as to when you see him again. He is gonna stop by my office first; I need to speak to him before he comes up. When we finish our business I'll send him up, oh and Cal since this is a condition on your Team spot Hartly will be reporting back to me throughout the course of helping you guys" he said and I knew that was what he was seeing Hartly first for. Ranger was gonna set it up and tell him that he is to be in the know of what goes on, not everything just the stuff that will determine when and if I can go back to my duties. Steph looked over at me and placed her hand over my arm.

"Yes Sir" I said. At first I was only going to see Hartly for my position on the Team, but I see now that I have an anger problem and really need to see him for myself.

Ranger turned his attention off of me and on to Steph. His business taken care of and now he was on to the next task. I watched as his blank face left and one full of emotion took its place "How are you?" he asked Stephanie

"Much better, Bobby is a life saver" she said and I followed her eyes over to where Brown was standing. Through his brown skin I saw the blush that tinted his face as he smiled and then quickly looked down to the floor. Bobby usually doesn't receive a lot of accolades on his jobs that he does for us and when Steph gives us a compliment it touches us in ways and makes us bad ass tough guys' blush.

"I'm glad Babe" Ranger said kneeling down in front of her "You really scared us"

"I know and I am sorry that I just didn't go ahead and agree with seeing the therapist like you suggested and let myself get so out of hand, but I really did think I was ok after telling Cal everything, I felt so much lighter"

"I understand, but always remember that we are here to help you with anything, big or small" He told her. It was so strange to see Ranger acting so human. He was always in control and never allowed his emotions to come between anything. A lot of us wondered if he even had them. I guess knowing Bobby knew about us and that it was just me there he could show love and affection towards her.

"I'm sorry" she said again placing her hand on top of Rangers

"Think nothing more of it" he told her kissing her knuckles and then we all heard his phone ring. Ranger held his phone to his ear and listened to the caller and then told them her would be there in ten minutes.

"I have to go, but please talk to Hartly and listen to him so you get better ok?" he asked her and she looked at him strangely. Steph knew Ranger was as closed as anyone in the world and for him to tell her to open up was like the pot calling the kettle black.

"I will since you said please" she told him and Ranger grinned, shook his head, and stood up

"I'll be in touch" he said to me and I nodded to him as he left. Bobby came forward then and handed me the bottle of Advil.

"I'm going to get going too. She should be ok, give her more Advil in about six to eight hours or when she tells you she is in pain. Call me if you have any questions or you need me for anything. I'll come check on you two in the morning"

"Ok" I told him

"Steph remember only a few drinks right now of the cokes when you take more pain reliever. Maybe just under half a can ok?" he asked her

"K"

"Ok" he said leaning down and kissing the top of her head "I'm going to bed, I'm done" he said emphasizing what he had said with a yawn.

"Thanks man" I called out as he went to the door

"Yes thank you Bobby" Steph said. Brown walked out and closed the door behind him.

"Ahhhhh" I said laying my head back and closing my eyes

"You ok?" Steph asked me

"Yes it's just been a long couple days and it's nice to be alone finally. How are you?"

"I feel a lot better. The soreness is much better, the headache is down to a manageable pain, and even my throat feels some better"

"Good"

"Cal?"

"Yea Bomber" I answered and looked over to her when she didn't say anything right away. She was sitting there chewing on one of her fingernails; I knew that when she did this she was apprehensive about something. I sat up and turned to her.

"What's wrong is something starting to hurt?" I asked

"No I'm fine have you ever seen Hartly?" she asked me

"Yea I've seen him before; he is a little older than Ranger and really looks out for the former Military. He used to be one of us so he understand s what its like and how things goes"

"Have you every talked to him?"

"Yes I have" I told her and she looked at me. It was a written rule in all of our contracts and in the RangeMan guidebook that after any mission you come back from you was to sit down and be debriefed and talk to a professional. Hartly was sent over and Ranger liked him so he kept him on his payroll for that very thing. Last year I had gone on a mission with Ranger and per the ruled when we got back we sat up appointments and spoke to Jonathan. I don't know what Ranger talked to him about or what was ever said and he doesn't know of me either. Jonathan is very professional and keeps everything hush hush. This will be the first time ever that I know of where a third party will be involved.

"Why?" Steph asked and I smiled

"Oh you can't or won't tell me"

"Steph I can't reveal any details of what I did, but it is a written rule that after coming home from a mission we have to sit down and debrief and talk to someone and that happens to be Hartly. If you remember I went "in the wind" with Ranger last year"

"So you guys talked to him?" she asked

"Yep"

"Even Ranger?" she asked surprised

"It's the rules and he is our leader, our commander and we follow his lead…"

"I get it" she said and then I noticed her start to squirm

"What?" I asked knowing she was dieing to ask something

"Were you guys ok?" she asked and I grinned. I believed she was trying to see if we were deemed safe or sick when we spoke to Hartly.

"We are to talk to him even if we think we are ok, because what goes on in a mission may not seem like it bothered us but sometimes things happen that we may not know about" I told her and she was hanging on every word "I was deemed fine and ok to work, but I don't know about Ranger, I assume he was cleared as well since he is still the CEO of the company" I told her and she nodded

"Did I help ease your mind?"

"Yea"

"Good" I told her and brought her to me with a hand on her neck "we're finally alone for a change and I don't wanna talk anymore" Steph smiled and I lowered my mouth to hers

Each minute that passed as we cuddle and kissed made me very aware of how long it had been since I'd been this way with a woman and once Steph opened her mouth to my probing tongue, I wanted more and more.

"Cal we need to stop" Steph breathed out when I went to her neck. I pulled back and couldn't believe what she had said, she was enjoying this as well by the soft moans and purrs I had heard. I watched as she placed a hand on my leg cast and rubbed the thigh part of it.

"Damn" I huffed sitting back, my hormones and breathing getting away from me.

"You'll get them off soon"

"Not soon enough" I told her getting irritated. I wanted so badly to be with her and not have any obstacles in my way and everywhere I go I slam into a wall.

"DAMMITT" I exploded getting up from the couch and walking into the kitchen. I opened the fridge and began talking things out. I needed to stomp down the anger that was rising, so making sandwiches was something I was gonna do to get myself into check. All I needed was to have an episode when Hartly showed up.

"You hungry?" I asked sensing Steph coming into the kitchen

"Sure" she said

As I was preparing to make grilled cheese sandwiches and was concentration on making them, I felt Stephs arms come around me and kiss my back before laying her head on it.

"I didn't want to stop either, but you're almost healed and I don't want anything to hinder that or any ailments or injuries when we come together" she said. I stopped what I was doing, took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. I brought her hand up and kissed it hoping she would know what she had just done for me and how much she means to me.

"Your sandwich" I said handing her one on a saucer

"Thanks" she said kissing me and going back to the couch to cover up and eat.


	30. Chapter 30

While waiting on Jonathan to come, Steph and I were laid out on my couch munching on a bag of chips and watching TV, Normally Ranger only wanted us to eat healthy and he only kept healthy snacks in the kitchen, but if we worked out and didn't over indulged on the junk he kept most of his comments to a minimum. Most of the guys here have a junk food secret, Les loves sugared cereals, Hal loves chocolate, Bobby is a brownie fan, and even Ranger can't stay away from the Cuban desserts. If you go into anyone of the guys apartments and look for it you will find their hidden stash of junk foods and since Steph has came into our lives and we know her food habits we are a little more apt to indulge more when she is around.

"Do you think he's here and up there talking to Ranger?" Steph asked as we started to watch a show about some kind of animal.

"He could be since its getting late, I could snoop for you if you'd like" I told her. I could call around and see if anyone had seen a man come in that usually isn't here and if that man is in with Ranger. Steph turned over onto her side to face me; I muted the sound on the TV.

"Are you nervous?" she asked me

"Of Jonathan? Nahhh I know him, he's a good guy. He makes it painless. Are you nervous?" I asked placing a curl behind her ear

"Yea, I've never spoke to a therapist before or ever really about my feelings much"

"It'll be ok, he is really a nice guy that wants to help" I told her. I saw a small crumb from a potato chip clinging to the corner of her mouth, leaning forward; I touched my lips to hers. Just as the kiss was getting good there was a nock on my door "Of course" I said pulling back, Steph gave a soft laugh.

"Want me to go get it?" she asked knowing it would be a little hard for me to just get up from the position that I was laying in.

"No, I'll get it" I told her swinging my cast off of the couch and standing up. Steph was already scared about meeting Hartly, I didn't want her to have to go and open the door to a man she had never met before and one that we knew was coming to analyze us both. I made it over and opened the door.

"Cal it's been awhile" Hartly said extending his hand to me "You have had some troubles haven't you boy?"

"I saw you last year with Ranger and yea it's been tough, but this is the better part of me" I told him bringing him into my apartment

I watched as Hartly walked in and around the couch, Steph began to fidget in her seat. She pushed the hair around her face back behind her ears and pulled the blanket around her tightly like a cocoon. I began to worry that this may be too much for her, but then I thought this was what would help her and I knew Jon would put her at ease. I stood back and watched as he looked down at Steph on the couch.

"Hello Miss. Plum, I have heard so much about you and I must say it doesn't do you any justice. I'm sorry for interrupting" he said and I thought he just meant our night, but what he said had us both shocked and caused Steph to blush more than she already was.

"You didn't interrupt anything we wanted you to come" I said

"But by the rosy tint on your friends face and her swollen lips, it looks like I in fact did interrupt something good"

Steph's face went red and she quickly looked back at me and then down to her lap "uhhhh" I said not knowing what else to say.

"Relax, I know it been difficult lately for the both of you and when you have some time alone you seize every opportunity to be with the one you love. We all do it, especially men that are in the service and are still on active duty. They know their time is limited when they have leave or are being deployed, so they tolerate and have fun at the parties and dinners that are for them, it's the girl they want to be with that holds their hearts the most. They are brave men marching off to war and it's still the quiet moments with the wife or girlfriend they hold dear and will help them through, so again I am sorry for interrupting"

"It has been hard" Steph said surprising me that she spoke up

"Would you care to tell me how it's been hard for you?" he asked sitting down in the chair that faced her, I guess the session was starting now.

"Well I think I can speak for Cal too" she said but Jon stopped her

"Stephanie I am here for both of you, but I just want you to tell me about you, I'll talk to Cal a little later"

"Ok well I wasn't looking for a relationship, it sorta smacked in the face, but ever since we have gotten together something has been going on either with Cal or with me" she said looking back at me and I nodded my agreement

"What's been going on since you got together?" he asked

"Well the night before we came together Cal got very upset with me, it scared me, but I knew it really wasn't him that was saying the hurtful things to me" she said and my heart constricted at the memory of going off on her and how mad I was. I remember how she looked at me and I never want to see that again. "Then the next morning he came to me to talk and when we did I told him everything that had been bothering me and I was holding in. We kissed after that and I told him that I loved him. Ever since then it's been one thing after another and we haven't had the honeymoon period of a relationship"

"Ok I do know some of the things you're referring to so lets start from the beginning. Tell me what you told Cal when you talked and what it was you had been holding on to"

I sat there and listened as Steph opened up and talked to Jon. There was no sign of the timid scared Steph or the woman that was so adamant not to talk to a professional. I knew from knowing Steph a long time that she doesn't like to share her feelings and I know that I don't either, but once Hartly sat down and talked to her everything came out. I knew once she met him and talked to him she would be at ease. Steph stopped talking and I looked over at her and saw she was trying not to let the tears fall that were pooled in her eyes.

"What's going on right now Stephanie?" Jonathan asked seeing the same thing I was. She shook her head and Jon took a handkerchief out of his pocket and leaned forward.

"Please don't stop now. It's ok to cry, you're safe here and I'm here to help you. I will help you Stephanie" he told her holding her hands. I leaned over and told her it was ok.

"I see it, its all going through my head" she said running her fingers over the handkerchief

"What do you see?"

"Cal" she said her bottom lip quivering. I felt so sorry that she had to relive this "He's so beaten up and bloody, we didn't know if he would make it or not"

"You said you found him?"

"Yea, well I was downstairs in the lobby talking to Binkie, because the energy was so intense upstairs and I couldn't breath. I asked Binkie if they had been any calls or anything and when he said no there was a loud sound right outside the door and something was tossed out, now I know that something was Cal. Binkie and I ran out to see what was going on and when I saw it was Cal I told Binkie to go get Ranger and Bobby now and to call nice one one." Steph bowed her head into my chest and sobbed. My soul ached for her.

"What would happen after you went home to the quiet and were alone, how did you let down?" he asked and Steph sniffed and wiped her eyes.

"I did my normal night time routine and laid down to sleep. When I did go to sleep vivid images would come to me and I had nightmares over seeing Cal and the truck and everything"

"You were afraid to go to sleep? Jon asked her

"Kinda, I would go and about after two hours the nightmares started and I would be awake the rest of the night. I would worry so much about Cal that I would come and have to see about him, to make sure that he was ok.

"In the middle of the night? In the hospital where he had round the clock care?"

"Yea and in his apartment. He caught me one time sitting on his bed crying because I was so tired of not being able to sleep and didn't understand what was happening to me"

"Ok now tell me what happened yesterday" he said and I knew Ranger probably told him that Steph was in the hospital and had really just been released.

"I got myself into more trouble" she said and Jonathan grinned

"Explain a little further please"

"When Ranger and the team came back from searching for Gustov, Cal was told that he would need to talk to you to make sure he had his pot still on the team. He told Ranger about me and Ranger then told me he would like for me to talk to you with Cal. After confessing everything the day before to Cal, I felt a lot better and thought I was ok, so I told them that I didn't need to see you. Sorry" she said looking up at him

"Its ok, it doesn't offend me its hard to admit that there is something wrong sometimes and that we need help" he told her

"I wanted to prove to Cal and to Ranger that I was what I said and went home to sleep, but when I did the nightmares came back. I didn't want to admit that to them so I would stay up and drink an energy drink when I came in the next morning along with coffee that they always have in the kitchen. I overdosed on caffeine"

"I have heard about this and know what has to happen to help rid your body of the toxins"

"Oh yea all day long and I am so sore and have bad headaches coming down from all that caffeine. I was just released from the hospital earlier today"

"Yea I was a little shocked you wanted to meet tonight. You could have had a little time to recover, Cal's still in casts we had time" he told her

"Yea, but after what I'd just went through I wanted to get this thing going and feel better" she said

"We'll get you there, but you will have to work with us"

"Us?" she asked

"Yes I have partners that I work with that can prescribe meds if you need them"

"You think I need meds?" Steph asked

"I don't know, I'm just the therapy side, we all work together to form a plan to make you well. If you need meds it could only be for a short term or maybe long term it's up to them"

"Ok"

"Stephanie I am very sorry for what has happened to you"

"Thank you" she said wiping her eye "So do you know what is happening to me and can it be helped?"

"Yes I believe I do, but I want you both to see my partners and see what they think" he told her

"Ok?" she said looking over at me and I nodded telling her that it was ok with me to see Jon's partners.

"Cal" Hartly said turning his attention on me


	31. Chapter 31

Jonathan Hartly's eyes sat their selves on me and I felt Steph stiffen next to me. She knew that the guys of RangeMan didn't open up and definitely didn't talk about their feelings. We are all pretty much former military and have been trained not to show feelings; feelings show weakness and gets you killed. Where we've been and what we've seen we can't react to it, so we swallowed everything down and over time we got used to doing so and just came second nature to us. Then when we got back stateside we were thrown back into our lives with our families, wives, and children it became hard to adjust. No longer were we with likeminded people that did and thought as we did, we were with people that wanted us to feel and be like them and we weren't. A lot of us come back mentally and emotionally damaged along with physical challenges. Jonathan being one of us knew and understood what we had been through and where we were coming from. It is a great thing to have him doing what he does, he give us all a safe place to let go.

"Sorry to interrupt" Stephanie said and we both looked over at her. I was concerned that maybe she was starting to feel bad and we might have to cut the session short "but I'm going to go and let Cal have this time alone"

"You ok?" I asked looking her over for any signs of distress

"Yea I'm good, I'm just going to go down and hang with Les for a while" she told me un-wrapping herself from the blanket.

When Steph told me that she was fine, I then understood that she was leaving to give me room and the privacy to open up and talk to Hartly. Being a guy that didn't show emotions that much, my heart swelled that she would consider my feelings and wants me to be at ease. She knew we were private people and she wanted to allow me to be that.

"You don't have to go" I told her

"I want you to be comfortable and be able to do what you need to"

"She knows you all very well" Jonathan said

"Yes she should she's been with us for a few years now" I told him

"Steph" I said placing my hand over hers "I'm grateful that you want to give me the space I need, but please don't go"

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive. We started this together, so let's keep it that way. You were there for me when I was in the hospital and couldn't do anything and now I'm able to be there for you as well. Its all different now and I have shared some with you, I feel you could help me remember them if I forget them. Will you help me?" I asked and a tear streaked down her cheek.

"Sorry" she said wiping the tear away "Yes I'll help you"

"I believe after we get you guys to feeling better you will have an amazing relationship" Jon said and we smiled at each other.

"I hope so, because ever since we've gotten together it's always been something" I told him

"Like what?" he asked

"Me being injured and in pain, Steph being sick and in denial, me wanting to be there for her and cant be"

"Ok we can discuss all of that, but I want to go to the beginning. Ranger has filled me in on the basics, but I want to hear it from you"

"Ok my day started out just like any other day here. I was on deck talking to Santos when on of our accounts alarm system sounded. Les began the routine of calling people out, but I told him that I would go, I wasn't doing anything. Lester reminded me that we were not to go anywhere with out back up, so I asked him who was out in the field and was close to the ware house that I was going to. He looked up and saw Junior and Zip were five minutes away, I told him to call em and have them meet me while I dressed and ran to the garage. I knew they should be pulling in with me or come a few minutes after I got there" I told him seeing it so vividly in my mind. I could even remember it being a bright sunny warm day.

"It sounds to me like you did everything that was required of you according to what Lester said about needing to always have back up. You were responding to a call and had two guys coming to cover you" Jon said

"Yea a lot of good it did me. Yes I followed protocol, but I did break the rules" I said clasping my hand and the fingers of my casted hand together.

"I should have waited. I should have fucking waited. It's all my fault" I said getting angry at myself. Steph leaned over and put her hand on my arm.

"Cal it's not your fault, you didn't know they were there waiting for you, you were just doing your job" she soothed

"No I should have waited, I knew to wait" I said getting up and going over to the window "I broke command and that gets you killed, if I'd waited"

"If you would have waited what would have happened?" Jon asked me

"You kidding me? I would be like this" I said holding up my arm for him to see the cast that was on it.

"I disagree with that" he said " I don't know all that has happened to you, but what I do know and have heard you couldn't have stopped this attack, it was going to happen one way or another. These guys were determined to get Ranger's attention and if you would have waited for your back up they would have had three victims to play with. Who knows what could have happed you could have been attacked and Junior and Zip killed or Junior attacked and you and Zip killed. You quite possibly save the lives of your two coworkers"

I went quiet after that, I didn't know what to say. Did I really save their lives by not waiting and getting myself into trouble? I don't think we will ever really know. What I do know however is that when I was hanging up by the ceiling the guys around me had guns, because I saw one when I kicked the guy in the nose, he wanted to kill me plus they had my gun that was taken off me and thrown on the floor by my vest.

"Oh Cal I never thought of Junior or Zip" Steph said

"I don't know what they would have done if they had to deal with three instead of one, but they wanted Ranger's attention in a bad way so it quiet possible" Jon told us

"Cal" Jonathan said getting me to focus back on him and not on the stupid assholes "Why don't you continue what you were telling me"

"Its gets fuzzy" I said shrugging my shoulders, I was getting tired of going through it.

"Well tell me what you can remember"

"I got there to the site and parked. The alarm was going off and I could hear it clearly through the truck. I looked around at my surroundings and thought it strange there were no cars or trucks or if they were in hiding there were no tire or feet prints in the dirt parking lot. You have to be at the warehouse to get the alarm to go off. I turned off the truck, grabbed my gun to be safe, opened the door, and was assaulted by the loud wail of the alarm. I carefully made my way to the warehouse door and something hit me in the shoulder and pain and heat rushed through my body. Everything started to go black, I fell to my knees, because my body just could hold me up, and before I went out I saw several pairs of boots surrounding me. That's all I remember, I don't know who they were or where they took me"

"You were drugged?"

"Yea"

"Do you remember anything else?" Jon asked

"I remember cold water being thrown on mw to wake me up and when I did that's when a guy came up to me and started talking about Ranger. I dint know who this guy was and I wasn't about to give him any info on him. He came right up into my face and made sure I knew who he was and told me what his name was and that he wanted me to give Ranger and message from him. After that he turned and told the other guys to do what they wanted but that I had to be kept alive, right then I knew that I was the message to Ranger and I wasn't going to be getting out of this unharmed. I tried to move but the drugs that they had used left me unable to move and I was hung from the ceiling of this place by chains. I somehow did manage to kick my leg out and hit the one guy in the nose and blood when everywhere and then the beating began" I told him and the thoughts of not being able to help myself came to the surface. I was a tough as nails man and was trained to be the best and I was a RangeMan, everyone knew not to mess with us.

"I'M A RANGEMAN DAMMITT. NO ONE HURTS US" I screamed throwing a lamp across the room.

"Cal" Hartly jumped up and got in my face "you are just a man made of flesh, bone, and blood, you are not invincible. You could not stop this; it was out of your control. You were drugged, you couldn't fight against it"

"BUT I FAILED" I was seething

"Failed how?"

"I FAILED ME, RANGER, AND RANGEMAN AND I'M STILL FAILING"

"How?" he asked me

"I want them dead and now that they are its killing me that it wasn't by me. I wanted it to be me the last they saw and seen that they didn't keep me down. Now that Ranger took care of it I can't get the satisfaction"

"Cal you were badly injured and there was no way Ranger could have waited"

"I KNOW"

"Cal look at me" he said and when I did he smiled "good now I want you to take some deep breaths and count to ten slowly"

"Ok?" he asked

"I'm good" I told him getting my head a little clearer

"Now let's go on"

"Its simple I want revenge and I can't get revenge and I'm angry about it. The monster inside of me comes out and wants to attack. Its sees Steph when I'm around her and something sets me off and says attack she's and easy target. I've managed to keep it at bay, but there is one time it came out and she was jumped on" I told him

"The night you scared her?" he asked

"Yea, Brett came in and I was trying to eat, but was having a hard time keeping the soup in my spoon with only one good arm and hand. Stephanie offered to help by feeding me, I felt so foolish having to be fed. Brett watched and then told us that Ranger had called in and said that he was on his way home and we all knew it was over because Ranger wouldn't come home and not accomplish the mission. That angered me knowing that I never would get the chance to exact my revenge on the ones that hurt me. They would never see my face as the one who helped take them out. Steph accidentally spilled some soup in my lap and I let loose on her, the monster was out and there was no way I could get it back in its cage"

"What did you say or do to her?" he asked and I looked over at Steph who had tears running down her cheeks. I hated what had happened and I hated that she had to relive it again.

"I told her to get out that I didn't need her and didn't want her around or her help anymore. It was just a couple of hours after I'd just told her that since I was now able to walk a little I would still always need her to help me. Steph would come and sit in bed with me and we'd talk or do cross word puzzles. I knew it was because of what ever was going on with her, but I loved her being there too"

"How did it make you feel when you yelled at her?"

"Relived that I was finally able to just let it all go, but then I felt so horrible, I never want to be the reason for her face to look as it did that night. Steph has always been by my side since day one. I was in a coma and I would listen to her hum when she would wash me or put lotion on my hands. And I loved to hear her talk about everything she could think of to keep me informed and then I had told her to get away from me"

"Stephanie knew the anger wasn't towards her" he stated

"Yea after Bobby got a hold of me I went over to his place to apologize but he had convinced her to take a sleeping pill and was asleep. When I was leaving he told me that she made him promise not to kill me that she knew I wasn't mad at her and that she had forgiven me"

"Wow"

"Yea, the next morning I was all set to beg for forgiveness and try and salvage any type of relationship we might have. We went to talk and Steph wrapped her arms around me and asked me if I was ok. That's when she confessed to what had been going on with her"

"And you also agree that your relationship is hard on you as well?" he asked

"Yea I can't do what I want and its getting frustrating and sometimes the anger has wanted to take a hold and come out"

"What's so frustrating about being with Stephanie?"

"Well she fell asleep talking to me that time and I couldn't pick her up and carry her to my room, I had to get Brett too. When she was sick and the ambulance took her to the hospital yesterday, Ranger took off and it took me a while to get to the garage and then he left me and Lester as he ran in to find out about Steph. I can't do anything with these stupid casts on. It pissed me off because I should be the first one there, I am the boyfriend"

"I can see how that can be frustrating, you feel the need to be there for her and help her because you love her"

"Yes"

"And with everyone around you all the time pulling you this way and that and them also doing the same with Steph you feel angry"

"Yes, but they love her too and deserve to be there for her as well" I said

"I think once you get stable and settled and get some tools to mange the anger, you'll be better able to deal with those feelings when they come up and they will with all your friends here wanting to be in your lives" he said and I nodded my head

"Well I think we can stop here for now, its getting late. Can I set you an appointment to meet with my team next week?" Jonathan asked

"That's fine, Steph?" I asked her

"Sure, I'm ok with anything" she told him

"Ok how about Monday at two?" he asked getting a small date book out of his pocket

"That's ok" we said

He wrote us in and then stood up "it was good to meet with you and to be working with you. We will get you two feeling better"

"We hope so" Steph said standing up as well "Thank you for coming over tonight"

"My pleasure, Have a good night"

"You too" she said as he walked out

Stephanie closed the door and locked it. She turned and looked at me and let out a long breath. I held mine not knowing if anything I said made her rethink our relationship or made her think she should run for the hills. We both looked and felt beaten after going through what we both did, but I hope that the next time we meet with Jon it will go smoother. Steph walked over to me and I watched as she came, when she came to me she wrapped her arms around my waist and laid her head on my chest.

"You ok?" I asked her after our intense session

"Yea, but" she said and I cringed "I just want a shower and you"

"That can certainly be arranged" I said smiling guiding us to the bedroom.


	32. Chapter 32

I followed Steph into the bedroom and watched as she dropped her head and began to rub at the base of her neck. I walked up to her, placed a kiss on the nape of her neck, and began to massage where she had been rubbing. Steph gave a low growl as I rubbed and I started to wonder if she was beginning to be in pain.

"You alright?" I asked her

"Yea, I'm just tired it's been a long day and my neck feels a little stiff"

"It has been rough, why don't you" I said turning her to face me and gave her small pecks on her lips and cheeks "go take a nice hot shower and we'll lie down"

"Sounds great"

Steph walked into my bathroom and I heard the shower start running. I was at my dresser grabbing a pair of gym shorts to change into when Steph popped her head out of the door. When I saw her I had to laugh at her, because she looked like a little lost girl that didn't know what to do. I knew that wasn't the case, because we had been sharing a bed together for a while now. I walked over to her and saw that she had a towel wrapped around her and she was holding it to by her hand.

"Steph what's wrong?" I asked her

"It just hit me that I don't have anything to ware for bed and that I don't have any clothes here for tomorrow" she said looking down at her feet. She was really disturbed by this and I couldn't figure out why all the sudden nervousness. I could handle the sleeping thing tonight, but tomorrow would be tricky.

"Don't worry about it" I said causing her to look up at me. She watched as I walked back over to my dresser and pulled out one of my RangeMan t-shirts "here you can sleep in this" I told her handing the shirt to her.

"Thanks, but what about tomorrow?"

"I uhh can call one of the guys to go over to your place and pack you a few things and bring them back here"

"Wellll" she said biting into her lip. It didn't take a genius to see that she was probably picturing one of the guys going through her underwear drawer "There is something else we can do, I just remembered. The guys wouldn't have to be called out just to go get me a set of clothes"

"What is it?" I asked and again she bit into her lip

"Ranger" she said

"Ranger?" I asked. What does Ranger have to do with Steph's clothes?

"I uhh have clothes and things up there" she said looking at me and then down to her feet

"Oh" I said understanding now why she had so much nervousness. She promised me there was nothing going on between her and Ranger and I believe her, but to hear that your girl has clothes in another mans closet that just doesn't sit well.

There were so many questions that I wanted to ask her, but the feelings welling up inside of me I knew I shouldn't say anything. It was already disturbing for her to tell me about it and I wanted for to night to be calm and relaxing after all we had gone through with Jonathan, so getting into it now about the clothes wouldn't accomplish that.

"Go get in the shower and I'll call up to Ranger" I told her shooing her back into the bathroom.

The door closed to the bathroom and I heard the clanking of the shower rings clank against the curtain rod as she pulled the curtain too. I let out a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling taking a moment to collect myself before calling my boss. This was not a pleasant thing for me to have to be doing, the boyfriend calling another man for his girlfriend's clothes. I grabbed my cell that was sitting on my dresser and dialed up to Ranger's apartment. While it rang, my mind took me to a place I was trying not to jump too concerning him and Steph.

"Yea" he said answering and I was relieved when he did, because it stopped me from being in my head.

"Uh it's Cal" I told him

"Is Steph ok?"

"Yea she's fine, she's in the shower" I told him

"You guys see Hartly?" he asked

"You know we did you sent him up here"

"How did it go?"

"You know I can't tell what was discussed, but he would like for us to meet with his team next week to be accessed and get everything going"

"Yea he told me that he didn't think therapy alone would help and he would like to have his team work with you guys"

"Yea anyways like I said Steph's in the shower and she has no clothes here. I gave her one of my t-shirts to sleep in for tonight, but she doesn't have any clothes here for tomorrow. Steph said she has some things in your place"

"Yea she has a couple of sets of clothes and some beauty products" he said and my face was hot as I ground my teeth.

"Could you bring some down for her?" I asked swallowing past the lump of anger that was forming in my throat. It may be something very innocent for her to have clothes and stuff there and maybe it could have been from a long time ago that she had forgot about until now, but I was her boyfriend and I didn't want anything of her to be anywhere but in my apartment.

"On my way" he said and disconnected

While I was waiting on Ranger to come down, Steph came out of the bathroom dressed in my shirt with her hair in a towel turban. I followed her into the living room and watched as she searched around for her bag that she left here the day she was taken by the EMT's to the hospital. Finally locating it she sat on the couch and began to rummage through it.

"Of course I have everything but a hair brush in here" she said taking things out and laying them on my coffee table

"Ranger's on his way down with clothes for you maybe he will think to bring a brush as well. If not you can use my comb" I told her and she looked up at me in horror.

"Thanks but I don't thin a …" she was saying but someone pounded on my door

"Please tell me you brought a brush" She said as Ranger walked into the room

"Babe" he grinned and handed her a duffel bag

I watched as Steph tore into the bag and brought out a RangeMan uniform, kittle black panties, and a matching bra. I ground my teeth knowing Ranger had touched these intimate things and had them tucked away in his apartment. Were there others sets? I was brought out of my thoughts by Stephanie squealing.

"YES, Ranger I could kiss you"

I looked over at Ranger and Ranger looked over at Steph. If he laid one lip on her, boss or not I was gonna have to hurt him. He may beat my ass in my current state, but I would go down fighting.

"He brought my hair serum and stuff" Steph said pulling out a bottle and a brush. She put all the clothes back into the bag and turned to me "I'm going to go do my hair so it wont look like a wild woman when I wake up" she said going past me and disappearing down the hall.

"She seems like she's doing fine" Ranger said when it was just us

"She is, soon ill give her another dose of Advil per Browns instructions, but I'm watching for any signs that she's in pain"

"Good"

"Yea"

"Well guess I'll head back upstairs" he said moving to the door

"Thanks for bringing her the clothes" I told him hoping he wouldn't hear the disdain dripping from my voice. With Ranger being Ranger he turned to me and locked eyes with me.

"Remember she has stayed with me for a while and I have also stayed with her so I have become familiar with stuff she has to have for her routines and what and how she does it. And after she has stayed with me her things did and we just kept them there in case she ever needed to change while here" he told me walking out the door. Before he left he turned back.

"She chose you and she will honor that and I will honor that. I love her, but I'm not out to take your girl from you. Steph and I are very close and we'll probably always be, so you're gonna have to deal with me in her life" he said and walked up the hall.

I closed the door behind him and locked it. He was right; I needed to get a handle on these anger flare ups and jealous tendencies. Ranger was a special part of Stephs life and just because I am weary of it doesn't mean I can force Steph not o be around him, she would resent me for it. Ranger might be a big thing to me, but here were the other guys as well and I have to be ok with them around her as well. Stephanie has formed some close bonds with some of them and they with her. I hope seeing Hartly will help me get my shit together and soon.

"Cal" Steph called out standing at the beginning of the hall. Her hair still damp but combed through.

"Yea?" I asked coming to her

"Is Ranger still here?"

"No he went back up to seven"

"Good she said placing her arms around my neck, raising up on her tip toes, and kissed me.

"Let's go lay down" she said against my lips

"K" I said hitting the light switch for the room

Following her down the hall and into the bedroom, I heard Ranger's words echoing in my head. I grinned knowing she chose me.

A/N Due to safety of adult themes, I will be posting the next chapter in the M Section. Look for it under the Stephanie P. M section ~ Thanks!


	33. Chapter 33

I by no means am an inexperienced man, so having a woman standing in my bedroom shoulder be trouble at all, but tonight it was trouble. I lost my virginity when I was a young boy and since that time I have never looked back, but having Steph standing here looking at me made me feel like that lost teenage boy that I was back then. I have had my share of women and know what to do with them when I'm with them, but recently being with one and having one hasn't been an issue like it was when I was younger. The way I live and look doesn't lend itself to having a relationship, I know that's the line that Ranger has always fed Steph and its true; however I won't go as far as him and completely cut off love and companionship. If a woman wants to be with me and understands my lifestyle then I will get involved and I believe I have found her.

Standing in my bedroom with my shorts in my hand, I was thinking what I should do. Normally I would just strip everything off, slip them on, and be done with it, but now it feels totally different with Stephanie here. Now I'm already hot and bothered as it is after sharing some kisses with her and I don't want to go too far when we aren't ready to cross that like just yet. We both know as long as these casts are on there's not much we can do. I know I've been in here before with her and shared my bed, but that was before we were a couple and can do as couples do. I looked down at my shorts and hear Steph let out and exasperated sigh.

"I'll turn around" she said

"Its not that I'm shy or don't want you to see" I told her stripping off my shirt. Stephs eyed went wide as she looked at my bare chest. I always loved to see her do that when I'm shirtless, nothing like a boost to the ego when a woman oogles instead of being scared of you.

"I know" She said turning around "It's new, I get it"

"Yea, we have always been friends and now we're more it's different and I still have a big road block standing in my way, so getting close is still out of the question"

"There are ways, we would just have to get creative" she said and looked up at her back as I pulled on the shorts. Was she suggesting what I thought she was?

I walked up to her and placed my arm around her waist and kissed on her neck, she turned around and did a slow scan of my body " I would like nothing more, but as it's killing me to be with you I'd like our first time with each other without a couple pounds of plaster to work around"

Stephanie smiled at the promise of a later date to come together and hugged me. I would have loved to explore with her, but I also wanted to be able to fully enjoy the experience. Holding her in my arm even though it was hard, I was content just having her near me like this. Steph pulled back and I placed a kiss to her lips.

"Ready for bed?" she asked

"Yea" I told her letting her go. We moved apart from each other and went over to each side of the bed and crawled in. Steph snuggled close and sighed as if something was weighing on her mind.

"What is it?" I asked

"I really liked talking to Hartly; you were right he is a nice guy, but he wants us to meet with his team next week and said we might have to be on meds."

"Yea, you said you were ok with it" I told her rubbing her back

"Yea I know, but the more I thought about it the more I just don't know if being on some kind of medicine is the right thing"

"Well Ranger told me when I called him that Jon thinks we would benefit seeing his whole team and not just doing therapy"

"You guys said he was the best and could help" she said pulling back and looking up at me in disbelief

"And he is Steph; Jon is great ant what he does. He understands what we all go through and he wants to make sure we get all the help that is out there to make us better" I told her

"But you never said you and Ranger were ever put on drugs" she said

"I can't speak about Ranger, but I just spoke to Hartly. I am sure if he thought there was a reason for me to take a medicine he would have suggested it"

"I'm not crazy" she said popping up and running out of the room

"We never said you were" I called out after her. I was shocked at how agitated she had become so quickly. It was like she had gone from zero to sixty in only a few seconds. By the time I got myself out of bed, Steph came back and sat back into bed.

"Steph what are you doing?" I asked seeing her run a finger over her phone

"I'm calling Ranger, this is just too much" she said and I stopped her hand that was searching in her phone.

"Honey why are you calling Ranger? He is probably in bed, it's late"

"I want to know if Hartly ever wanted him to take meds and if he did. He shouldn't be asleep he was just down here giving me my clothes"

I couldn't believe what was happening, we were fine and ready to put this day behind us and Steph was willing and open to working with Jonathan. Now she is agitated and having second thoughts about our appointment. I know Hartly and he would never suggest something if he didn't think it would help; he only wants us to get better.

"Steph" I said watching her "why don't we lay down and try to get some sleep, it's been a long day for both of us. If you still want to talk to Ranger I'm sure he will see you tomorrow" I told her

"I want to know about the medicine" she said

"I don't know if he will tell you because that is private and you know Ranger, but why don't you just wait and sleep on it you may feel better about it in the morning" I said kissing her shoulder. Steph waited for a few long minutes and I could see the war going on in her mind about what to choice to make. When she laid her phone down, I breathed a sigh of relief and brought her over to me to lie down.

"Steph I love you and will be with you through this. You know I'm going through this just like you and Jon said we might not need the meds, that's why he wants us to meet with his team to access that. But if we do then we will deal with it. Don't you want to feel better?" I asked her

"Yea" she said and nodded against my chest

"Well then lets see what they have to say and Steph it is our ultimate decision if we agree with them or not. We don't have to go along with them"

"If you don't then you wont be apart of the core team"

"If it comes to that then I'll deal with it" I told her

That seemed to settle her when she felt that she had some control and became quiet. I lay back with her in my arms and thought over what just had happened. We were fine one minute and being kind of intimate with kisses and a few touches and then BAM the next minute Steph is spinning out of control. Was this because of the caffeine that was left in her system? When they took her to the ER the doctor told us she was agitated and confused and it was due to the overdose. That was when she asked me if she had been kidnapped as well. It had shocked me, but she was thinking about the time I was in the hospital. As I closed my eyes I made a mental note to ask Brown when he came in to check on her in the morning.

While I had my eyes closed, I listened to Stephs breathing and thought she was asleep. I was going into sleep when she flung herself onto her back causing me to jump awake. Turning over onto my side I watched as she moved her hair out of her face.

"God it's hot in here. Are you hot?" she asked tossing the blanket off of her. When she did I saw that my shirt had rode up her legs and that caught my attention.

"No I'm fine" I told her

"You're not hot? I'm roasting"

"No Steph I'm fine" I told her and she grabbed my hand

"Feel" she said placing my hand on her head "I'm sweating"

When I felt the sweat on her head I didn't think it was normal, there was no reason for her to be sweating. I flipped the light on and looked down at her, her cheeks were bright red and the hair around her forehead was drenched. Getting up I came back with a cold wash cloth and laid it on her head.

"Just try and calm down and I'm sure it will pass" I told her and we laid there for a few minutes waiting.

"I can't take this anymore" Steph said throwing the cloth off her head. She reached down and grabbed the end of the shirt and pulled it off leaving her laying there naked. When I saw her body come into view, I slammed my eyes shut and did some deep breathing. Here I was trying to help her since something was going on and I have to fight myself to stay in control.

"Oh Holy Hell"


	34. Chapter 34

I felt my body respond to seeing and having Stephanie lying next to me naked in my bed. I ached to reach out and touch her, but now is not the time for that, Steph is in distress and thinking or acting on my libido wasn't right. I knew it would take our minds off the situation for the moment, but it would be very wrong since not knowing what was going on. Taking in a few deep breaths and letting them slowly out, I willed my mind and body to relax, I had to get myself in control.

Opening my eyes, I looked over to Steph to see she was still sweating, her cheeks were still red, and by the lack of covering up, she still was obviously hot. The only thing that I knew to do to help her was to go get Brown and he wasn't going to be too happy to have his sleep interrupted. Getting myself out of the bed, I walked to the bedroom door, I didn't care that I was only in a pair of gym shorts, we were all guys here and have seen everything before and anyways Steph needed help.

"Where are you going?" Steph asked seeing me going out the door

"I'm going to get Brown I'll be right back"

I rushed as fast as I could up the hall to Bobby's room. I beat on the door and called his name; several of the guys that were sleeping opened their doors and came out hearing the commotion that I was making. As I beat on his door again, Lester came up to me and asked me what the hell was going on.

"Its Steph, I think she's sick again" I told him raising my fist up to hammer on the door one more time.

"Here" Les said touching his phone and handing it to me. I heard it dialing and when it picked up, Brown opened his door.

"What?" he growled. I was a little taken back by his attitude when he saw me and saw that I was in a panic. Bobby was always willing to rush into anything to help when one of us goes down. Hearing this reminded me that he was too only a man, shaking my head of my thoughts, I blurted out what I why I was beating down his door.

"Steph's sick again" I told him and saw his game face slam down

"Didn't you give her the Advil and coke?" he asked closing his door and striding down the hall to my room

"It's not that, she's not in any pain" I tell him as we walk into my apartment. When we entered, Santos came with us and the rest of the guys I had woke up camped out around my doorway.

"What's going on?" he asked me taking a moment to get the info before seeing Steph

"I don't know, one minute we are fine going to bed after a long day" I told him and he nodded, he too had a long day "then next she's agitated and frustrated. She's having second thoughts about going and working with Hartly and his team. I got her to settle down, but then she flung herself over on the bed and was saying she was hot. She had me feel her head and she is sweating and then she pulled her clothes off"

"It's not hot in here" Lester commented

"I know, I told her that and that I was fine"

"Ok" Bobby said and turned to walk down the small hall that led to my room

When Brown walked into my bedroom, I was right behind him. The first thing I noticed was that the lights in the room were off and I knew I had them on when I had left. When I saw this I began to get worried and little alarm bells were going off in my head. Bobby reached out and flipped the light switch on that was on the wall and we found Stephanie lying on her side on the bed. If Bobby was ever affected by seeing Steph naked, he never let on, he kept it strictly professional. When the light came on, Steph groaned and put her hand over her eyes.

"Steph what's going on?" Brown asked her sitting down next to her on the bed

"I'm hot and my heads banging" she said

Bobby looked over at me and I told him that she had never once told me that she was in any pain. When I found out her head was hurting again, I felt like I had failed at doing something again. Steph was in pain and all I had to do was give her some aspirins and coke and I couldn't even do that. I felt the stirrings of anger creeping in.

"Cal go fix a small glass of coke and get four Advil's out and bring them to Steph" Brown ordered

I went into my kitchen and grabbed a small juice glass from the cabinet; I filled it with ice, and poured half the can of coke into the cup. I downed the other half and wished that it was something a little stronger than coke. As I was making my way back to Steph with her meds, Ranger and Tank walked into the apartment and came over to me. How he knew what was going on I didn't know, but I really didn't need this now.

"Tank got a call saying that something was going on in here" he said and I glared at the men who stood there rubbernecking, obviously one of them had called Tank.

"It's under control, Bobby's in there with her now" I told him walking passed him. I knew that was not going to satisfy him, but I didn't care, Steph needed her drink and pills. I gave the meds and coke to Bobby when I came back in and he handed them to Steph.

"Here this will help" he told her

"So what's going on?" I asked watching Steph swallow the pills with a sip of coke

"EXPLAINE" We both heard and turned to see Ranger had stepped into the room "Why is Steph naked and everyone standing gawking at her?"

"She was hot" I stated

I was hanging on by a thread and I was calling upon all the training I had to keep in control. It was no secret that Steph and Ranger had something a long time ago, but that was over, but knowing that her panties and bra were in his closet and now he was standing here getting a free show of Steph, I was rapidly getting ready to go all caveman. I did not want him to look at my girlfriend, he already had the luxury of being with her and I haven't and I did not like this.

"Do we have any fans like a boxed one or an oscillating one?" Bobby asked and I concentrated on him so I wouldn't do something that I'd regret.

"I think there are a couple of them in the storage room on two. We used them when the A/C went out that time" Ranger told him

"I need one" Brown said. Ranger went to the door and told who ever it was that he needed a fan. When he came back he told us it was done.

"So what's going on?" I asked Bobby trying to ignore that Ranger was in the room

"It's the caffeine withdrawals. They are trying to get out of her system, but haven't quiet made it out yet. They caused her to get agitated and frustrated and that caused her to have a hot flash. I believe once the meds kick in she will feel better and the symptoms will calm down"

"Will I have to throw up again?" Steph asked Bobby and he smiled at her

"No, the caffeine that's still in you is small, but it's enough to wreck havoc on your system still. In a few days you'll notice that the symptoms and headaches will be less and less" he told her. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a fan being passed to Ranger. Ranger brought it forward and handed it over to Bobby, before he backed up he and Steph locked eyes and smiled at each other. My blood began to boil.

"And the fan?" I asked watching Bobby plug it in at a wall socket. He sat it next to Steph and turned it on. When it came on I watched as the air blew her hair.

"Ahhhhh" she said

"It's to help with the hot flashes that the symptoms are causing" he said "How are you feeling?" he asked turning back to Steph

"A little bit better and the fan is helping a lot" she told him downing the rest of her coke and handing me the empty glass.

I had to get out of there, so I took the glass and went to put it in the kitchen. As I stood there looking into the sink where I would put the glass, I got to thinking on Steph and what had just happened. It was so simple on what to do to help her and I didn't do a fucking thing. What was happening to me, I used to walk the streets a mighty strong man and now I can't even give my girlfriend a stupid aspirin. I don't know what really happened next, but the glass I was holding when sailing across the room and hit a wall in the living room shattering into a million pieces. Everyone including Steph who was back in my shirt came running from my bedroom.

"CAL" Ranger commanded

"A FAN A FUCKING FAN" I said "ALL SHE NEEDED WAS A FAN AND ASPRINS AND I COULDN'T EVEN DO THAT" I yelled

"Santos take him down to your place until he calms down, Babe you can stay up on seven with me" he said and I lost it

"DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH HER"

"Cal no ones touching her" Bobby said as Les approached me

"Let's go buddy, don't make me have to get physical with your ass"

"I think I'll be ok" Steph spoke up and told everyone "I'm going to stay here tonight" Ranger looked at her for several long minutes and then nodded.

"You sure Babe?" he asked her

"Yea he needs me" she said looking over at me. Steph walked up to me and placed her arms around my waist. As I took in her presence and inhaled the scent from her hair, I broke down and wept like a little girl.

"I'm sorry" I said to her hugging her

"There is nothing that you need to be sorry for"

"I failed you, I didn't help you and it was so simple"

"You didn't know, I didn't know. I wasn't in any pain until you left" she said

"But I'm supposed to protect you and help you"

"And you did, you got Bobby. You loved me enough to get me help" she told me looking up at me "I love you"

"I love you" I said and she brought my head down to kiss me.

"AHEM" Santos said when the kiss got more intimate

"Sorry" Steph said when we broke apart "It's been a while for both of us"

"Can we all go now and get some sleep?" he asked

"Everything cool?" Brown asked

"Yea, I'm feeling better and I think we're ok now" she said taking my hand. Steph could calm me like no other could.

After everyone left, I pulled Steph to me and laid my forehead to hers "I feel like a broken man are we ever going to feel better and get back to normal?" I asked

"Yea we will, Hartly said he could fix us"

I nodded my head and Steph kissed me "Ready for bed?" she asked

"Oh yea" I answered and we finally made it there and went to sleep.


	35. Chapter 35

Over the next several days things started happening. On Monday Bobby came to me and told me that he was ready to take my casts off. I was excited to hear this news and couldn't wait to go down to his exam room and get them cut off. The casts are the last physical reminder of what all has happened to me and once they come off, I feel that I can start to move forward with my life and get back to where I once was before all this crap happened.

Steph was also doing better and I have grown to realize once she starts getting agitated and starts to have mood changes and swings that it's the caffeine that is bothering her and to get the Advil ready, because the headache will be coming. I have even gotten some pills ready early, because I know its coming and get her to take them to keep it in her system. Steph has told me that the headaches are less Sevier and I have noticed that the mood swings and hot flashes haven't appeared to be like they were the first time she experienced them. She still however sleeps with the fan, but hasn't stripped like she had, bummer.

"You ready?" Brown asked picking up his little saw

"Oh yes" I said sliding on the protective safety glasses that he gave us to wear incase of flying plaster.

Bobby began to work on the arm cast first. The cast that I wore kept my arm bent half way across my chest and was a nuisance when I wanted to turn over in bed, change shirts, or hug Steph to me; she always had to be on my side when we hugged. Once this cast comes off, I'll be able to gather her in both arms and hold her the right way.

I watched as Bobby made the slow cuts up my arm and I looked over at Steph to see how she was doing. She had her glasses on and her eyes never left Bobby's hands or the saw, it was kinda fun to see her so into watching and see her eyes so wide and so blue. We heard the saw stop running and I turned to see Brown separating the plaster and taking it off my arm. Once he dropped it to the floor he ran his hand up and down my arm.

"Can you wiggle your fingers?" he asked

"Yea always could"

"Just do it" he said and I wiggled them around

"Good now can you turn your hand around?" he asked and turned his around and around by the wrist.

"Yea" I said and tried doing it "but it's real stiff" I said only getting one good turn. I haven't been able to move me wrist or my arm for about six weeks and when I just did I could feel it moving in my arm. What a weird feeling.

"That's to be expected, it hasn't moved in a while" he said

Bobby then came to stand in front of me and placed his hands on my arm. He told me that he was going to move it so that it would straighten out. "This might hurt since its been frozen at an angle for so long" he said and I nodded gritting my teeth when he moved it. He was right, it did hurt.

"When will it go back to being normal?" I asked him moving my arm up and down to get it to loosen up, but not having any success.

"Well you're gonna have to have some PT on the arm and on your leg. Your muscles are weak from not moving"

"Yea I knew that, but getting the casts off is a big step and I feel so much free'er

"Just keep that good attitude in mind when I start working you out" Brown said slipping the glasses back on to take the cast off my leg.

An hour and a half later, I was free from both casts that I had worn for almost a month and a half. It felt so strange not to have the weight of them on my anymore. Brown helped me to stand from the table and when I took the first step, I stumbled from not having the weight of the cast on. I guess wearing it has caused me to learn how to walk differently and now that its gone I'll have to relearn how to walk normally again.

"You ok man?" Brown asked helping to stabilize me and center me

"Yea, it just feels weird not to have something big and clunky around me when I walk"

"Yea your cast helped take the weight off your leg so it could heal. Your muscles are week from not being used so you're gonna be stumble prone for a while" he said going over to a closet. When he came back out of it he had a black cane in his hand.

"I already have a cane" I said waving this one off

"I know, but that cane is for someone that has a lot of trouble standing and keeping balance. You needed that when I first changed your cast, but now you don't need that since your mobile and only need a little something to help you be more stable"

I looked at him holding the cane, I didn't know if what he spouted off was true or not, but at least this cane wasn't like the silver one that had the four legs on it, this one was just a simple black wooden cane with only one end to it. "Fine" I said and placed my hand around the crook of the cane, I'll never let on, but taking the cane and a few steps with it, I found myself feeling more in control and more stable on my leg.

"You might find yourself reverting back to holding you arm back at the angle it was and when you notice this, straighten it out" he said and I nodded that I'd heard him "Also I have a lot of paperwork to do, but later I'll sit down and chart out some PT for your arm and leg. We will start slow, so don't get bent out of shape when we do"

"K, just as long as I can start to get back to normal soon"

"We'll see, you could end up with a slight limp and pain when it rains" Brown told me giving me some possibilities that I might not go back to being a hundred percent.

"I can live with that" I told him

"When will he start PT?" Steph asked

"Soon as I can get it made up" Bobby told her

"We have an appointment with Hartly tomorrow and he probably will want to see us more in the future"

"Ok, just give me the days and I will work around them. Also you know there will be days that I'll be called away and will have to work around my schedule" he said and we nodded. Bobby like a lot of us here has a set eight hour work schedule, but he is one of us that are on call twenty four hours a day. Skips and trouble don't always happen during your shift, it often happens when you're off the clock or in bed asleep in the middle of the night. It's not unusual to work your shift and be called out an hour or two later to help with a takedown or patch someone that's injured or shot. I knew there was going to be a lot of strange times that I would be working out for my PT.

"Thanks man" I said doing a manly handshake to show my happiness with the work he had done for me today.

"No problem" he said grinning back at us

Steph and I were leaving the room when Bobby called out to us and told us that we weren't done. I looked myself over to see what he was talking about, he'd cut off my casts, gave me a cane, and discussed the PT thing with me what else could there be?

"Steph" he said patting the table that I had just sat on

"Me?" she asked pointing to herself

"Yes you, I haven't really been able to talk to you since the other night"

Stephanie looked over at me and I shrugged my shoulders. She was completely caught by surprise that Bobby wanted to check her as well. All she knew was this time down here was for me to get my casts off. I watched as she slowly walked over and sat on the table that I had just left; Brown shook his head and laughed.

"Jeeze you'd think I'm going to do something horrible to you" he said

"You could" she said

"Yes I could, but I don't want to have to deal with the blood and hear the screams" He told her taking a small pen light and shining it into her eyes. Bobby was telling her the truth; he knew things and had things that looked pretty damned gruesome.

"How are the headaches and the mood swings?" he asked her

"The mood swings have gotten lesser and longer apart. I'm still sleeping by the fan, but it's only more for a just in case than a necessity"

"Good and the headaches?"

"They are a lot better almost like a normal headache just that I have them everyday. They aren't as sharp and not beating like they were. Cal's been great at keeping Advil in me" she said and I felt a warmth spreading through my chest, I have been feeling like a failure, like half a man, so to hear that I've actually been able to help do something really got to me.

"We all love you Steph" he said cupping her cheek and the good feeling I had switched and I was paying very close to Brown.

"I know you all do and I'm thankful you all have been there and helped me"

Bobby gathered Steph into a hug and she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him back. I kept telling myself, it was no big deal, that they were friends, and they were only expressing their love and care for each other. I then heard Steph tell Brown that she loved him and the rage in me kicked up another notch.

"We better stop, I don't wanna have to sedate your boyfriend" he said and Steph looked back at me

"Sorry" I heard her whisper to him

"Its ok, he'll get there hopefully soon. In the mean time you can only take two Advil now since the headaches aren't so intense anymore"

"Ok"

Bobby told us he was finished with us and I felt bad for feeling the way I was about him. I knew there was nothing between him and Steph and yet here I was seething about it. Why can't I control this anger inside of me? Steph and I left as Bobby began to clean up from removing my casts, as we were walking up the hall; I noticed that I was holding my arm across my chest as if it were still in the cast. I slowly bent it out and did something I haven't been able to do, take a hold of Stephanie's hand. Stephanie looked down and saw it was my injured hand that was holding hers and smiled up at me.

"Finally" I said feeling like I could move forward with her. I stopped, backed her into the wall, and kissed her for all I was worth. It was great not having those damn casts in the way.

"Cal we need to talk" she said when we pulled back from each other.


	36. Chapter 36

When I heard what Stephanie said my heart fell to my feet. We had started making strides in going forward in our relationship and here I was going to loose her. Usually when a woman says those four words "We need to talk", it's not good. Did Steph not want to be with me? She did stay with me the other night when I blew up and understood that its not me, since then we have kissed and been together with no indications there were problems, and she just told Brown that WE"VE got an appointment tomorrow, she was concerned about MY PT schedule.

The kiss that we just shared against the wall was great also and Steph did not hold back. I looked her over to see if there were any signs that she wanted out or away from me, but her face was neutral and I didn't see any indication of what she was feeling. Inside I started to panic which was strange for me, because here we don't do panic, my nerves are like steel.

"Ok" I said dread washing over me. I didn't want to loose her.

"Since you now have your casts off how about we go grab some lunch and go to the park? It's supposed to be a nice day today" she asked

"I would love to go outside" I told her, not since the day she was taken to the hospital have I been outside.

Steph took my hand again and we walked on down the hall to the elevator. Once inside she punched the G button, leaned into me, and placed her head onto my shoulder. I was confused, she had said the words that girls use to end relationships, but Steph was holding my hand and laying her head on my shoulder, something I feel if your fixing to tell me to get lost you wouldn't do unless you're a cruel bitch and Steph is not like that.

"Want me to drive?" I asked when we stepped off the elevator and into the garage. I was so eager to start reclaiming my life and do the things I couldn't for the last six weeks.

"You just got your casts off, sit back, relax, I got this" She told me lifting up the remote to a truck and pushed the button. We watched as the alarm turned off, the horn blew, and the lights flashed.

When we got in and pulled out, I began to wonder what was going on, was it another guy that's given her some attention that I've not been able to? We pulled into Pino's parking lot and parked; Steph turned to me, grabbed her bag, and told me she would be back. I watched as she walked into the restaurant and hoped I could somehow keep her from walking away. Fifteen minutes later, Steph came back to the truck with food bags in her hands.

"Turkey sub ok?" She asked putting the bags between us

"Yea it's cool" I answered

Stephanie pulled out into traffic and aimed the truck in the direction of the park. When we got there we grabbed our food and searched out an empty pick nick table to sit at. As we opened the canned drinks that Steph got, we unwrapped our food and Steph began to talk, but I stopped her.

"Are you leaving me?" I asked wanting to know, the suspense was killing me. Just tell me and get it on the table. I haven't had to deal with this for a long time and when I did it hurt, but I think since its Steph it's gonna take a long time to get over it.

A stunned look came over her face "What?" she asked "Why would you think that?"

"Come on it's the common spiel that women say to a guy to get out of a relationship, we need to talk, its not you it's me, I just need space, and cant we just be friends"

"NO Cal" she said shaking her head "No that's not it at all; I just needed to talk to you about something"

"Ok what?" I asked

"Your anger" she said looking down at the table. Her words stopped me and I didn't know what to say to her. I know it's gotten out of hand and she had been a witness to it all, but I just can't stop it or control it. Even though she forgives me time and time again, I really don't know how it's been affecting her. When I'm in my anger all I can hear and think of is what it is telling and directing me to do and then when I calm down and start to pick up the pieces is when I see and realize what I've said, done, and know it's a real problem.

"You blow up at Ranger for wanting to help me and all right maybe I can give you Ranger since all of our history, but Bobby? Cal they are my friends and will be around me and they are also your friends as well. If you want to get technical they were your friends' way before they were mine. I don't want to be the reason for a rift between you guys. They know something isn't right with you right now and they are ok with it, but sooner or later it's gonna get old and they're gonna start caring"

"Come here" I told her. When she came around the table, I pulled her to sit between my legs with her back to my chest. I wrapped both arms around her and realized that I indeed had BOTH of them around her.

"This is hard for me to admit because of who I am, but recently I'm not who I am" I said and I took a deep breath and Steph placed her hands on top of mine.

"What's the matter?"

"I have a problem, I can't get a hold of my shit" I tell her. It was hard to say it, in the army you don't have emotions, they get you killed. Steph turned around in my arms and laid her head on my chest.

"I just get so angry and I can't reign it in until I blow, but the good part is its not just about you it could be anything that frustrates me and lately I feel I haven't been that great of a boyfriend to you and see that the others can offer you more than I can at the moment"

"I know you have a problem, but Cal I chose you and you are the one I want to be with no matter what, but you've got to stop trying to kill everyone that gives me attention, like Bobby"

"I know"

"I'm serious, I'm in a building full of men and they are going to pay me attention"

"Don't remind me" I said trying to lift the mood of the conversation

"Like I said I know you have a problem and I know that as we work with Hartly and his team you'll get back to your old self"

"I'm sure I will"

"I just wanted to let you know that I understood, but that it also was getting to me as well"

"Got it" I told her and hugged her tight to me. Looking out over the park and feeling her in my arms, I was thankful that she wasn't leaving and running away from me. Steph got me, she got all of us. I did not deserve her.

Its really special to find that someone that understood what it is you do and gets that there will be times you wont be available to spend time with them and be ok with it, Stephanie was that girl, she understood there were things we did that we couldn't discuss and she still chose to be our friend and didn't judge us. She also understood that at a moments notice we could be called away to track down someone or transport someone to jail. It was such a relief to have someone that knew and didn't question our life styles or demand our time when we couldn't give it. I guess in all truth I should be thankful to Ranger who was responsible for bringing her into our lives in the first place.

"I love you" I told her kissing the top of her head

"Mmmm I love you too" she said wrapping her arms around me and clinging to me

We spent a while sitting there wrapped up in each others arms. Steph and I rarely have had any alone time and this was nice being here in the park with her. As we continued to sit there and allow the breeze to wash over us, Steph stiffened in my arms causing me to go on full alert. My first thought was to keep her safe and identify the threat, my second thought was I wasn't carrying and I didn't think Steph was even, so if we did identify the threat I don't think we could do anything about it.

"Cal" Steph murmured in my chest

"Yea what is it?" I asked her keeping my head still but accessing the park with my eyes

"Do you have any cuffs on you by any chance?" she asked

"No, I've been out of the game for a while and haven't had to dress, why?"

"Thought you guys were naked without your guns and cuffs, but anyways one of my skips is sitting over at the next pick nick table, guess I haven't been out working he thought he was safe not seeing me for a while and I've haven't got anything either" she told me

"The trucks are always stocked" I told her

"Ok we pack up our food and act like we are leaving, just try and cover me as much as you can so he wont see me and run" she said reaching over and dragging her sandwich over to her and re wrapped it.

"Who is it?" I asked her

"Mays" she said and I knew the name sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it.

Steph and I walked out of the park and back to our truck. We sat the food inside the truck and I walked her to the back and opened the hatch up, peeled the carpet back to reveal a locked box, and took out a set of cuffs and loaded gun.

"No" she said looking at the gun

"Steph"

"Is there a stun gun or pepper spray?" she asked and I sighed handing her both items she requested. "Stay here and call one of the guys to come help for back up if you want, I would use you, but you cant" she said pocketing the stun gun and spay and placing the cuffs in her jeans waist. I watched as she went back into the park and was rolling the name of her skip over and over in my head, finally it clicked, Roger Mays the guy she chased in here the last time and she skint her leg up pretty badly.

"Shit" I said really wanting to go in after her. She needed help with this guy; I grabbed my phone and called it into the office. I relayed what was going down and to send someone, I disconnected and made my way into the park to help Steph. The asshole wasn't gonna hurt her again.


	37. Chapter 37

When I got back to the spot that Stephanie and I was I looked over to the table that was next to us and saw a bunch of discarded food like someone had left in a hurry. I stood still and got a clear look of the area and to find where they were. With my heart beating and the adrenaline pumping in my ears, I felt so alive. To be back out and hunting someone, it felt like the old me. Standing for another minute or two, I heard a woman scream and knew that woman was Steph.

"GET OUT OF THE WAY" I heard her yell. I hurried up the path as fast as I could, you would think getting the casts off I'd be faster, but that was not the case. I had a huge limp and my leg was burning and killing me. When I came upon the scene, Steph was running after Mays and yelling for people to get out of her way. Roger never looked back, he knew that he was successful running on the paths before, but this time he didn't count on a pissed off RangeMan boyfriend.

I watched as I made my way to them, Steph gaining ground and took a flying leap. She landed on Mays's back and went down to the ground. When the dust settled and the tumbling around stopped. Mays rolled on top of Steph and she began bucking wildly to get him off. When I got to them a flash of black came around us, I grabbed Mays by the shirt collar, turned him around, and started wailing on him. I vaguely heard Stephs screams for me to stop, but I was seeing red and nothing could get me to stop. Finally as I was gonna land another blow, hands came around my shoulders and hauled me off the guy. When I came back to myself I looked to see Lester holding me and Hal was over with Stephanie.

"Man stop it, its over" Les said and I looked down at the ground at Mays writhing around, blood coming out of his nose. I looked over and saw one of our trucks sitting in the grass by the path and knew Hal and Lester had driven the truck into the park to find us. Looking over to Steph, I saw Hal talking to her and her nodding her head. Hal walked up to Mays, cuffed him, and I shook Lester off of me to go over to Steph.

"I told you to wait" she said as I got up to her

"I couldn't just let you go in alone. I remembered what he did to you the last time you went after him"

"Yea, but I had him and you are not cleared yet for duty, you could have killed him"

"He was on top of you"

"This is what I'm talking about, you can't keep doing this. I am going to be harassed, touched, and hugged; you can't come in and kill everyone"

"You ok Beautiful?" Les asked after securing Mays in the truck

"Yea I'll live, just some scratches and dirt" she told him looking down at her knees, the knees of her jeans were torn out and her knees were scratched and lightly bleeding from taking Mays down.

"Don't worry about taking Mays in, Hal and I will do that for you, go get yourself cleaned up" he told her

"Thank you"

Steph and I walked back to our truck and she noticed that I was limping more that I was. She asked me if I had re-injured my leg, but I told her it was from trying to get to her to help her. She gave me a look telling me that was why I was to wait and not do anything yet; I pulled her to me before she got into the truck.

"Well did it feel good?" she asked and at first I wasn't sure what she was asking about. "Did it feel good to be back in the action, even though you were not supposed to be?"

"Ohhh yea" I said and a big goofy grin came on me "It felt great to be on the hunt again" I told her and she grinned. Steph looked up at me and I leaned down to capture her lips with mine. The kiss started out slow, but then with all the excitement of capturing Mays and all the pent up frustrations my hands slid over her ass as my tongue delved into her mouth. When the need for air was too great, Steph pulled back panting.

"My apartment is close by" she said

"Let's go" I told her and we both hurried and jumped into the truck.

When I slammed the door to and Steph turned the engine over, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, getting it out, I read the message and groaned.

"Change in plans head to RangeMan" I told her

"What?" she asked and I showed her my phone

"From R. Manoso… MY OFFICE NOW!"

"DAMN" she said turning right to RangeMan instead of turning left to her apartment

In the elevator as it was rising to the fifth floor, I turned and told Steph that when I got off to go down to Bobby's and have her knees looked at and cleaned. When the doors swooshed open, I stepped off and felt that someone was following me, turning around I found Steph standing behind me.

"I thought I told you to go see Bobby?" I asked her

"And you should know I don't follow order well" she said

"Steph"

"This is my fault; I'm going in there with you"

I did not want her to go with me and by me sending her to Bobby I was protecting her. Ranger was not in a good mood and I knew what was going to happen when the door to his office closed. We were not going to be sitting down to a tea party eating dainty little sandwiches. I'd seen Ranger like this and I could handle it, I don't think Stephanie has ever been a witness to his anger and I didn't want her to be now.

"DIAZ" I call over to his cube "Take Steph down to Browns, she needs her cuts looked at" I told him

"NO" Steph said stomping her one foot to the floor, Diaz looked at me.

"Stephanie please go, let me go and talk to Ranger. I told her. We all knew the way to get Stephanie to do something that you wanted her to do was to say please. That word had something on her and we knew and used it sparingly. This situation I felt the need to use it and it was working till Ranger messed it up.

"Cal" Ranger called from his office door. Looking back at Steph, I saw the spell was broken and knew there wasn't anything I could do. When she saw Ranger she walked passed me, up to him, and passed him, and walked into his office. I followed her feeling so defeated, not because of Ranger, but because of Stephanie.

"Before you jump in on Cal it was my fault" Steph said " I was the one that spotted Mays and it was me that wasn't dressed to take a skip down , so I got Cal to give me some supplies from the back of the truck…." she was saying and I could see Ranger was getting annoyed.

"Steph" Ranger said but she kept going "STEPHANIE SHUT UP" he yelled

"Hey don't yell at her and tell her to shut up" I said stepping in front of her. "She doesn't deserve any of your anger, I did it, it was all me."

"Do you have any idea how may calls I've received telling me on the condition of Mays?" he asked

"No, but I'm sure you're gonna tell me"

"Can the attitude, what where you thinking?"

"That Steph shouldn't go in there alone" I told him

Ranger slammed his fist on his desk, Steph jumped and I glared at him for scaring her. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? YOU ARE NOT CLEARED FOR DUTY AND THE ONLY WAY I SAID YOU WOULD BE WAS THROUGH HARTLY"

"YOU'D DO THE SAME THING AND DON'T STAND THERE AND TELL ME YOU WOULDN'T" I yelled back

"I DIDN'T GET THE HELL BEATEN OUT OF ME AND JUST GET THE CASTS OFF. CAL YOU GOT A PROBLEM AND YOU NEED TO GET IT SOLVED"

"AS YOU WISH" I told him walking out. As I did I heard him address Steph

"Babe"

"Cal wait" Steph called as she came running after me. We got on the elevator, but no one dared to say a word, Anger was rolling off me in waves. As I got into my room, I was bouncing on my feet wanting something to hurt and destroy.

"He's gone after you too" I ground out

"I know he would and I know he knows it" Steph said coming to stand in front of me, gutsy move on her part. She placed her palms flat against my chest and locked eyes with me.

"Look at me and breath with me, in out, in out. Calm deep breaths"

"Stephanie" I said and she saw that I was close to loosing it

"I need your help" she said and I looked down at her, she had my attention. "My knees are hurting can you clean them for me?" she asked stepping back from me. I watched as she unsnapped her jeans and pulled them over her hips leaving her standing there in front of me in her panties. No doubt she got the beast and put him back in its cage, she knew if I placed my focus on her and helping her I wouldn't explode, nice change of topics there.

"Sure I've got some stuff in the bathroom" I said and went to retrieve the stuff to clean her knees. When I got back with the stuff, Steph was sitting on the couch, I knelt down in front of her and gently began cleaning her knees up.

I heard and saw her gasp as the peroxide fizzed on the small open wounds and dried blood that was on her knees. I knew Steph hated to have this done and to sacrifice herself to have this done to help me was pure love. I looked up at her and love burst in my heart for this woman, no one had ever cared about me as she had. I sat up on my knees and came over her causing her to fall back into the couch, when her arms came around me I lowered my mouth to hers and hungrily kissed her. I didn't have the words to tell her how much I loved her or how much she meant to me, but I could show her.


	38. Chapter 38

Sliding my hands onto Stephs hips, I watched for the third time her release rip through her body. When it subsided and her breathing started to return to normal, she collapsed down onto me unable to move. When she placed her arms around me and I covered us with a blanket that was draped over the back of the couch, I kissed her damp curls, and listened to her breath. I recalled everything we had done and burned it to memory, I think that every woman I have been with were beautiful when they came and it gives me a sense of pride to know that I caused it, but Steph she just glowed and instead of pride on my part for being the man, I hoped she felt the love that I was trying to convey to her.

Stephanie and I came together when chaos ruled our lives. She has been with me since the beginning and we both have been by each others sides ever since. Hartly said when he talked to us that we would be an amazing couple once we were well and back on our feet. After today I know I love her more than anything and we can go through anything that comes our way.

I held onto her for a while longer and thought by the way she was breathing that she had fallen asleep. I chuckled thinking she had worn herself out and felt a wave of Cave Man wash over me as I was the one who helped ware her out. I was surprised when she spoke; ending my macho chest pounding I had playing in my head.

"What's so funny?" she asked referring to my chuckling. I looked down at her where she laid. I thought for certain she was asleep; she hadn't moved or said a word in a long time. Moving her hair back from the side of her face, I saw that her eyes were open.

"You're awake?" I asked her. I knew it was a dumb question to ask her seeing her eyes were open, but I guess it was one of them things you just needed to hear from the other person.

"Yea" she said lifting her head up and propped it up on her hand. She looked at me with a heedful of wild curls.

"I thought I tired you out and you went to sleep"

"I could" she smiled "And you did"

I cupped her cheek with my hand and rubbed the top of it with my thumb; Steph closed her eyes and leaned into the touch "you're so beautiful" I told her. I'd always thought she was, but now even more so with a head full of messy hair and her makeup smeared. I lowered my head and found her lips.

"Did it hurt you?" I asked her. I didn't want to go over the play by play of what we had done on my couch, but there were parts of it that I know I wasn't gentle with her. Steph bit into her lip and I froze.

"Uhh"

"Stephanie don't lie, tell me" I told her

Her face went red "Yes" she whispered

"What?" I asked pulling her head up with my finger

"Yes, but it is only because I haven't been with anyone in a while"

"I'm sorry, I got a little carried away, I just wanted to show you how I felt and I got a little rough"

"I'm not complaining did you hear me complaining?"

"I heard a lot of things, but complaining wasn't one of them" I said and grinned

Steph grinned back and then a serious look came over her face. I worried for a minute that she was having regrets about being with me, was it to soon? "Cal" she said

"Yea honey what is it?" I asked holding my breath

"Did I hurt you?" she asked. How on earth could she possibly think that she hurt me? I could easily hold her weight on me with no problem.

"Why would you think that?" I asked her

"Well you just got the casts off and hurt it going after Mays, and I… was uh just on top of you"

"I didn't re-injure it, it was sore for over using it. I'll take some Advil and rest it for the rest of the night" I told her

"So it does hurt?" she asked and I knew she had told me the truth so I couldn't lie to her.

"Yes, but by me not you" I assured her

Stephanie wiggled herself off of my body and came to rest next to me on her side, she didn't say why she did it, but I knew it was to get off my bad leg. "What time is it?" she asked circling her arms around mine.

"Little after seven"

"Really?"

"Yep"

"We missed dinner" she told me

"We were busy getting our fill of each other"

"But now I'm starving"

"Well we could make something here, call Ella, go forage in the break room, or go out. Your choice" I told her

"I'm don't want to cook, I don't want to call o and disturb Ella, and what's downstairs is always so healthy sooo no"

"I guess we are going out then huh?" I asked her

"Yea and I promise it will only be you and me and if I see a skip I will just let him go"

"Deal and I promise to not beat anyone up"

"Deal" Steph said. I leaned over and kissed her to seal the deal. When the kiss was over, I pulled back the blanket and stood up. When I stood up I heard Steph suck in a sharp breath, looking back at her she was staring at me.

"Wanna shower with me?" I asked obviously knowing she was ogling me

"If we do we can forget about dinner" she said and I laughed. Feeling all puffed up from Steph staring at my body; I calmly walked down the hall to my bathroom and turned the water on in the shower.

Once we both showered and dressed, Steph and I went out to a nice restaurant for dinner. When we had eaten and sat around over coffee talking, Steph admitted to me that she was nervous about going to our appointment tomorrow. She was scared about meeting Hartlys partners and afraid of what the might tell us. I tried to cal her fears and remind her that she was comfortable talking to Jon and she will be ok with his partners as well. If Jon worked with them they had to be all right. Steph nodded her head at my reasoning, but I knew she was still a little shaken and no matter how much I reassure her until she goes and sees that it's not so bad, then only will she relax.

"Can you take me to my apartment?" she asked

"You're not staying with me?"

"Yes, I just need to get some clothes for tomorrow and some to keep at your place" she said and I stopped allowing what she just said to sink in. She was getting clothes to keep in my place; Steph was saying she saw us going forward together and that she was planning to be around for a long time.

"Certainly" I told her taking her hand. Steph slid the truck keys across the table to me.

"Wanna see if you can still do it?" she asked and I looked at her. "I know you just got the casts off and you're a little stiff, but after what you did today, I think you'll be fine"

I took the keys and felt the weight and coolness of them in my hand; it had been almost two months since I had driven a vehicle. The last time I had was when I went out to the warehouse call and we all know what happened then. Looking up at Stephanie she smiled and nodded her head, she knew this would be a big step in reclaiming myself and my independence again.

"Let's roll" I said and felt that familiar rush of power saying that. When I went out for a call or drove the guys I would always say lets roll. Two little words and I felt like a big piece of me had come back. Placing cash in the little book that held our check, I wrapped my arm around Steph's waist, and we walked out into the parking lot.


	39. Chapter 39

Stepping out of the shower, I wrapped a towel around my waist after drying off a little. It felt so good to actually be able to get in the shower, wash myself like a regular person, and get out by my own power. I opened the door to the bathroom and walked across the hall into my bedroom to get dressed and saw Stephanie standing in front of my dresser dressed only in her undies and bra, she was looking at herself in the dresser mirror putting on her make up. Steph had showered before me since it takes her longer to get ready and as I watched her my body began to respond.

"Hey Beautiful" I said into her ear as I wrapped my arms around her. I splayed my hands onto her stomach and kissed her neck.

Steph giggled a little "You sound like Lester" she told me

"Steph please when I've got my arms around you like this don't bring up another guy ok?"

"Sorry" she said turning in my arms to face me. She put her arms around my neck as I leaned down and kissed her. The kiss instantly turned hot and heavy as my hands lightly moved down her ribs and over her ass.

"As much as I'd like for that towel of yours to fall and continue this, we have an appointment in an hour" she said while I was busy kissing her gorgeous neck again.

"Then I want to make another appointment" I told her moving to the tops of her breasts

"Oh you don't need an appointment for that" she moaned when I hit a sweet spot

"Good to know"

I finally dragged myself away from Stephanie, grabbed some jeans, and a t-shirt from the drawer in my dresser that she was standing by. I pulled the jeans up my legs, zipped them, and buttoned them, its weird the small things that bring you pleasure when you're able to do them again after not being able to for a long time. I wasn't reduced to wearing sweats with one leg cut out or gym shorts all the time, now I was able to wear any of my clothes that I wanted to without ruining them.

"Are you ready?" I asked Steph as I put my shoes on and tied them

"Almost" she said sliding her last earring into her ear "I just need to do one more thing"

I looked over and saw Steph pick up a long blue tube and bring the wand out, she looked in the mirror and began coating her lashes with mascara.

"Ok" she said dropping the tube into her bag. I shook my head, Steph was so beautiful she didn't need all the stuff to make her pretty.

Grabbing my cane, Steph and I made our way to the garage. I tossed the cane into the back seat and got into the drivers seat of the truck, Steph got in beside me, buckled up, and I pulled out and went up the ramp. I found Hartlys building with no problem; I'd remembered it from last year when I spoke to him after coming home with Ranger after a mission. Pulling into am empty spot, I killed the engine.

"It's pretty big" Steph said looking up at the tall building that sat before us.

"Yea there are a lot of different doctors and some other kind of companies here. I don't know what's all in there since I've only been to one floor" I told her and she nodded. Steph pulled down the visor, pulled out her mascara, and began to coat her lashes again.

"Didn't you put that on when we left?"

"Yes, but I really need it. This gives me courage to face what I need to face" she said switching to the other eye.

"I thought I was doing that for you?"

"Yes you are, but I've done this ever since I began to wear makeup so it's just a thing I do when I'm nervous"

"Steph" I said taking her hand "you don't have to be nervous, it's just Hartly"

"And two partners that's going to diagnose us and partners we've never seen before" she said getting done with her eyes and snapping the visor into place.

"Just know that I'm in there with you as well"

"I know" she smiled and leaned over to kiss me "Thank you"

After another minute, Steph and I stepped out of the truck and met in the front it, Steph placed her hand in mine and we made our way across the lot to the front door of the building. Inside we went over to the bank of elevators and called one down to take us to the second floor where Hartlys office was. Inside the elevator, Steph was doing a lot of deep breathing, I really felt bad that she was so nervous, but there was nothing I could do for her. As I thigh end my hand to let her know I was there, I was really hoping that Hartlys partners would put Steph at ease.

"Oh God here we go" Steph said when we heard the ding of the elevator telling us we were at the floor we needed. She looked up at saw the number two lit up and closed her eyes as the doors opened.

"Hi" I said as we made our way to the high semi circle desk "We have an appointment with Jonathan and his associates"

"Miss Plum?" the girl looked up and asked "and Mr…?"

"Cal" I told her and she nodded. Before she could instruct us further a door to our right opened and Jon stuck his head out.

"Hey Stephanie and Cal come on back we're ready for you" he said

We followed Hartly down the hall way and into a conference looking room; it reminded me of the one we all use back at RangeMan. Inside the room two other men were seated at the table which I assumed were his partners, when we came in the stood and introductions were made.

"Hello I'm Doctor Brandons" one of the men said

"And I'm Doctor Kallows" the other one said

"Hello" Steph said

"Please have a seat and we'll get started. Would anyone like a water?" Hartly asked, I declined, but Steph accepted I think more so to have something in her hands to distract her from her nerves.

"Miss Plum" Doctor Brandons said opening a file folder in front of him and taking a pen out of his pocket.

"Stephanie or Steph" she told him not needed the formalities

"Ok Stephanie, Jonathan has filled us in on the talk he had with you, but could you tell me so I can hear it from you?" he asked

Stephanie began telling the story of finding me when I was thrown out of the truck in front of RangeMan. She told them how she was at the hospital and couldn't leave, that she had to stay with me. She told them that whenever she did go home to sleep and rest that two hours into it she would have nightmares of finding me again and it seemed so real.

"I would have to go and see if Cal was really safe and ok" she said

"So in the middle of the night you would get up and go to the hospital?"

"And to his bedroom"

"I caught her one night sitting on the foot of my bed crying one night" I told him

"Did you tell anyone what was happening to you?" he asked her

"No I tried to act normal and hope they would go away, but finally I did tell a friend of ours and made him promise not to tell anyone"

"You tried to keep up the appearance that everything was ok and that you were ok?"

"Yes"

"She also got angry with us" I said

"How so?" Brandons asked

"My employer came back from out of town and he wanted to know how I was and he was told how I was acting and of my physical status. He told me that he felt it would be best for me to speak to Hartly and I told him that if I was then I thought Steph should as well and told him what was going on with her. When she was told about the idea of going with me she got very upset and told us that she would prove to us that she was fine and didn't need to see a therapist" I explained

"What happened?"

"She returned home to sleep and to show us that since she told me what she had been feeling that she was fine and wouldn't have nightmares and wouldn't need to see Hartly. The next morning and a few days afterwards she came in all wired and flittered around the building, she couldn't be still"

"Stephanie what was going on?" he asked her

"As soon as I returned home I would have nightmares, so I didn't want to admit that, so I drank energy drinks to perk me up and when I felt the buzz wearing off I'd drink coffee all day to keep a level going" she said

"How many days?"

"I don't know three or more"

"What was the outcome?" he asked

"A caffeine overdose and a night in the hospital throwing up for hours to rid the toxins out of my body"

"Ok so you were exposed to a traumatic event and you were re-experiencing it in your dreams over and over causing you to act in a behavior that wasn't you?" he asked and she nodded her head "You had anger, couldn't sleep, and you couldn't concentrate"

"Yes" she said "Do you know what is causing it and what to do for it?"

"Yes I do Stephanie and I can help you. You will feel back to your old self if you follow my plan for you"

"Ok what is it?" she asked and Brandons slid an open book towards her

"Please read it" he said. I watched as Steph read the pages that the book was opened too. When she was done she handed the book over to me to read.

"PTSD?" I asked

"Yes, She has and is experiencing all the classic symptoms" he said. I wasn't the doctor, but I never thought of a person that wasn't in the Military getting this. I knew a lot of guys going through it when they would get home from war. Steph never fought in a war, but she did however see something horrible happen.

"It's quite common in civilians" he said "people living through plane crashes, hurricanes, tornados, terrorist actions. Any sounds that remind them can cause utter terror, or if a thunderstorm comes then the ones that went through a tornado or hurricane may panic"

"How can we treat it?" Stephanie asked

"I would like to put you on a medicine. It will take four to six weeks to fully build up in your system, but I think you will see a big difference in how you're feeling" he told her and I looked over at her, I knew she wasn't to keen on being put on drugs.

"Ok" she surprised me in saying. Dr. Brandons took out his prescription pad, filled it out, tore the slip off, and handed it over to her.

"I'm putting you on the lowest dose and if we need to we will adjust it. I also want you to regularly see Dr. Hartly"

"Ok" she said looking at the prescription in her hand

"All right my turn" Doctor Kallows said opening his file folder that was in front of him

"Cal" he said looking at me.


	40. Chapter 40

Dr. Kallows went silent after saying my name; he took the few papers that I assumed were my file and looked through them. He finally laid the papers back into the folder and closed it. The tension in the room was so thick as each of us waited for him to say something.

"Cal" he said finally "I'm not going to treat you" Stephanie placed her hand over mine that sat on my knee and squeezed.

"What?" I asked

"Excuse me?" Steph asked watching as he pushed back from the table

"I can give you something if you really want me too, seems like everyone is on something these days, but I think it would be best and you would benefit more from seeing Jonathan. Now I wont just abandon you, if Jon thinks that you may need something while or after he works with you then I'll be glad to step in then" he said

"So Cal's just gonna struggle with his issues alone?" Steph asked in disbelief

"No of course not, I have discussed him in great lengths just like Dr. Brandons has about you. Just as he thinks meds and therapy will work for you, I think this will work for Cal"

"Fine what is it?" I asked

"Excuse me I have another appointment I need to prepare for" Dr. Kallows said getting up, he placed a hand on Jon's shoulder "if you need me just let me know" he said walking out the conference room door.

"Excuse me as well" Steph's doctor said as he left also

"Lets move this to my office and I'll explain what I've came up with as a plan for treatment" Hartly said getting up and going over to the door.

We followed Hartly down the hall to the last office on the right. When he opened the door, I noticed nothing had changed since the last time I was in here. He still had all the medals, newspaper clippings, and awards he'd gotten hung on the walls of his office. The only thing that was new was the big desk he sat behind.

"Please have a seat" he told us moving behind his desk. Steph and I each took a chair that sat in front of the huge wooden desk and waited for him to begin.

"Ok before we start I would like to catch up from the first time we met last week. Stephanie how are you, you had just gotten out of the hospital when I saw you last"

"I'm doing well. It was hard for a little while when the caffeine was getting out of my system, but it has now and I'm doing better with that. I still however get nervous when its time to go to bed, even though I'm with Cal" she said and I looked over ay her surprised at hearing she was struggling still. When we are together everything seems to be ok, I didn't know she was scared to go to sleep.

"How are the nightmares?" he asked her

"They're ok as long as I sleep with Cal, I don't seem to have them when I do" she said

"Oh?"

"I don't mean "Sleep" with him, I mean sleep next to him in the same bed" she said her face glowing red. Jonathan was amused and I gave a soft bark of laughter.

"Uhhh so what about a treatment for Cal?" she asked trying to get the attention off of her

Having mercy on her Jon turned to me "So I see you got your casts off"

"Yep a few days ago"

"How does it feel?" he asked getting out his pen and jotting down notes as we spoke

"It feels pretty damn good" I said rubbing my arm "I'm getting to do the things again that I used to be able to and it feels like the old me again"

"Good, those casts were a constant reminder of what happened to you. I understand you'll always remember what happened, but the casts where a physical reminder and they held you down and back" he said

"I can see that, when Brown cut them off and I was able to shower like a normal person, eat like one, walk better, and be with Stephanie, I felt a freedom I haven't felt in a long time. I'm also driving again and that was on of the things I used to do for Ranger"

"Your back to working?" he asked surprised

"No, you know that is determined on you. Ranger said the only way I would be allowed back on the team was to see you and you get me back on my feet"

"Yes we have spoken about it after our first meeting. He wants you back, but until you can control yourself he can't allow that"

"I understand" I told him

"Any new developments with you?" he asked " When we last spoke you felt like you had let Ranger, the company, and yourself down by not doing what the rules said about waiting for back up and you also felt no closure over the fact you didn't get to exact revenge on those that hurt you"

"Well I am angry still that I don't get to punish them that done this to me, but what can I do they are gone?"

"Yes they are, but your feelings are not and they are eating away at you. Those feelings of anger and rage you have over not getting to avenge yourself will come out in inappropriate areas of your life if you don't learn to recognize them and deal with them in a constructive way" he told me

"So anger and rage is what's wrong with me?" I asked

"Yes, your mad, you want revenge, but you cant they're no longer there, so you hit a brick wall. You know there is nothing you can do so you swallow your anger and try not to let it out, but then something triggers you and you explode. Maybe it's just a little spat with Stephanie over how she makes a sandwich, but with all those pent up feelings they gotta come out somewhere" he said and I looked over at her. She had been the target of one of my outbursts and it still pains me to this day that I was so mean to her. The other outbursts she had only been a witness too and now I know they affected her as well.

"When you're triggered you blow like a stick of dynamite. All you see is red, your adrenaline is pumping through your veins, and you wont stop till you run out of steam" he said and I was blown away by what he had said, he was exactly right in everything he said, it was how I felt.

"The beast" I said

"What?"

"I call it the beast. There's me when I feel myself and then when I feel all worked up I feel the beast pacing back and forth wanting to be unleashed" I explained

"Basically yea" Hartly said "But if you follow my plan and directions I think I can help you. When the beast comes out you will have the tools to put it back before he does any damage"

"Ok" I said and we heard a soft sniff coming from Stephanie. Jon and I looked over and saw Steph with her head turned from us looking at the wall, she was trying hard not to let us see that she was crying.

"Steph" I asked touching her shoulder. Jon passed a tissue box that he kept on the end of his desk. Jon usually only treats military men and as I know we don't really cry, so to have a tissue box is kinda a surprise.

"Thanks" she weakly smiled taking a tissue and dabbing her eyes with it.

"Stephanie will you please share what's making you so upset?" Jon asked

"Sorry" she said looking down at her lap "I didn't mean to interrupt Cals assessment"

"Stephanie there is no reason for you to be sorry and you didn't interrupt anything. Something you heard made you upset and made you cry, its ok to cry"

"I don't want to upset Cal" she said and my heart hurt. Was she scared to say something in fear of me exploding? If so I feel like an asshole that she doesn't feel safe to talk to me or maybe even being around me.

"Stephanie" I said and she turned to me "its ok that is what we are here for. Share so I can know what it is I need to work on changing"

"It's just everything you said about Cal was true. When he had his casts on he would get so frustrated because he couldn't go out with the others to get the men who did that to him. Then it changed to see his co-workers going to work and knowing he wasn't able to, and then it was he couldn't help me when I needed someone too. I was going through caffeine withdrawals and one night we didn't know that was what it was, Cal didn't give me the meds he was too or a fan for the hot flashes and he blew up because he couldn't even help me"

"What does he do when he blows up?" Jon asked

"I don't even know it until it happens, but I see he gets real quiet and he will leave and go into another room, then a bit later you will hear something crash being destroyed and Cal yelling his frustrations out"

"Anything else?" he asked

"Yes, we went out the other day when he got his casts off. I wanted to talk to him because he was getting mad with the little bit of attention I was getting from Bobby my friend and his. I talked to him and told him his anger and rage was affecting me, but I understood it wasn't really him and so did the others but sooner or later they are going to get tired of taking it. As we were in the park, I saw a skip of mine and I went after him, Cal came in and nearly killed the guy. He was not there he was just going and going, thankfully Lester and Hal showed up when they did. After that Ranger and Cal got into it because of Cal going after my guy and he was so wired when we went home that the only way I could get him to stop was to get him to breath with me and avert his attention on me and ask that he help me clean up my skinned knees" she told him

"You calmed him?"

"Yes by getting him to breath in and out and getting is focus on me" she said and Hartly smiled

"Well Miss. Plum you stumbled into the plans I have for him" he said and looked at me "She is a very smart lady"

"I know" I said and tugged on her hair

"Cal anger is a very powerful emotion that can stem from feelings of frustration, hurt, annoyance, or disappointment" he said and I had felt every one of them

"Ok"

"The energy of anger often leads to impulsive behavior that only aggravates an already tense situation. If given the time to cool off most people learn to control the initial impulses"

"How do I do that? I work with a lot of bad guys I can just politely tell them to stop running and come here" I asked

"I understand that, but there is good anger and bad anger and we are working on the bad anger and how to keep it at bay"

"Ok how?" Steph asked

"Like you did the other day, by diffusing the anger. When we relax we are ready to respond by not responding in the way we do to the anger. Cal I want you to count to ten when you feel the beast wanting to come out then I want you to breath slowly. It will counter act the fight stress reaction that underlies the anger. Focus on something else, hit a punching bag when you're mad, throw eggs in the bath tub, or go to the firing range, something to diffuse the anger"

"You serious?" I asked. That was supposed to help me get in control of my rage?

"Very" he said and I shook my head

"Throwing eggs, counting to ten, that's going to help?"

"If you'll let it and work with me. Oh and also when you get angry with Stephanie or one of your co-workers until you can do it with out blinking stop and tell them that you will discuss this later, walk off, and cool down, then you can come back with a calm and clear head to discuss what went wrong" he said

I looked over at Steph; I felt my mouth was down on my knees. Steph saw the question in my eyes and nodded her head telling me to at least try it "Ok" I said "I'll give it a shot"


	41. Chapter 41

Six months later found Stephanie and me standing in the middle of the gravel parking lot of the warehouse that had started it all. It was here that I came to check out an alarm that was triggered at RangeMan. I came in thinking that it was some punk kids trying to steal some stuff to make a few bucks, but what happened was a life changing experience. I knew when I first arrived that it felt off when no other cars were around, but it was my job no matter what to check it out and find out what had caused the alarm to sound. Knowing Zip and Junior were just minutes behind me, I got out and began to make my way to the door.

"Right over there" I said raising my arm and pointing to the concrete slab that was outside the door to the warehouse.

"That's where you were drugged?" Steph asked standing next to me looking to where I was pointing.

"Yea, I made it to that point, felt something hit me, and then a bad burning rip through my shoulder. I don't know where it came from or who shot me, but I fell to my knees and before I went out I saw boots standing in front of me"

This was the first time I'd been back here since the attack, I wasn't avoiding it or had a fear of it, it had just never came up, but after all the work I'd put in to get back to the place that I was, I think its fitting to end where it began.

When Steph and I left Hartly's office after being diagnosed, we sat in the truck for a long time digesting and coming to terms with what we were told and what was expected from us. Stephs diagnosis threw me for a loop for a minute when I first heard it, but thinking on it, it did make sense. Her treatment was more standard than mine and the question now was, was she going to fill and take the meds that Dr. Brandons prescribed for her?

My diagnosis shouldn't have surprised me; I knew that I was having problems with anger and rage. When frustrations came to a head I would explode and have to destroy something. What did surprise me was how Dr. Kallows announced that he wasn't going to treat me and he felt that Hartly was the best route to go for me. Hartly then explained that the anger I felt of not being able to take revenge on the bastards that did this to me was growing and leaking into the other areas of my life. My head was so muddled that any small issue would blossom and turn into a full fledged rage episode. Hartly said with the tools he would give me, I would be able to control the beast before it had a chance to escape and attacked. Anger was ok to have and it serves us all in our jobs, but the kind of anger that I was dealing with was not ok and it would cause serious consequences if not dealt with.

"You were there when I was brought back to RangeMan" I said and Steph nodded her head. I knew with me bringing up this point it would cause Steph to see it in her mind.

"And you were there for me even at the times I never thought you were, like when I'd just be with you in bed keeping you company. You were helping me by keeping me safe from the scary thoughts and pictures in my head" she said and I thought back to us doing the newspaper crosswords in bed together.

"So we've been though all of this together so far"

"Yea"

"Why don't we see it all the way and complete it?" I asked "we know we each have a "sickness" that needs to be addressed and we were given the tools to help fix it, why not together see this as our mission and attack?" I asked

"You're such a RangeMan" Steph said smiling over at me and she was right. Just like in RangeMan Ranger or Tank would learn of something that needed to be taken care of, the will learn all about it, get the tools to fix it, go after it, and fight until the mission is complete, Steph and I totally could fit into those equations.

"Well what do you say?" I asked her and she sat there for a beat

"Together?" she asked

"Yes"

"Ok let's do it" she said. I plugged the key into the ignition and drove her over to the nearest pharmacy.

This was the first step to make regarding the decision to do this; filling the prescription she was given. Once the Pharmacist gave and explained the medication to Steph the momentum of our plan had begun.

Over the next six months Steph and I took getting back on our feet very serious. We did everything that was required of us. My weeks were grueling; I met with Bobby and did PT three times a week at various times those days, because of his schedule or mine. It was very hard at first, because I was always a conditioned man that could lift and bench a lot of weight. I always loved the gym, but now it held a different purpose than to maintain my strength, it now was to regain my strength.

My muscles in my arm and leg were weak and it hurt to bear weight on them. In my head I knew what I was capable of, but my body told another story. I wanted to go as fast as I could and stay as long as I could, but Brown wouldn't let me, he would tell me over and over that I had to work up to where I once was and to allow my muscles to relax between sessions.

After PT I would spend a couple of days a week in Hartlys office in therapy. We talked for about an hour on what I'd been going through and how my anger was doing that week. I wasn't sure I was accomplishing anything, but I wasn't going to back down from this fight. Eventually I began to succeeding in adding more weight to my arm and leg and began being able to do more things without feeling weak or shaky all the time, my strength was returning.

As for my anger it always was a struggle, but after being is sessions talking about and going over it with Jon, I did do the walk off, cool my head, and come back to hear and discuss what needed to be. Like the old saying goes cooler heads prevail and they really do. Now not all the time did I come out smelling like a rose, I fail and I failed often. With the struggles of PT, Bobby's constant orders, Ranger not allowing me to work, and sometimes bickering with Stephanie when she had a rough day, I did loose my temper.

The first time that I stood in my bathroom and threw eggs into the tub, I felt so stupid and thanked God that no one could see me doing this idiotic thing, but after about the third or fourth egg, I got into a rhythm and threw the rest of the dozen and a half with a purpose. By the time the eggs were gone the anger and pressure I was feeling was gone as well and there wasn't a huge mess to clean up, it all washed down the drain. The firing range was a good one to rapidly disperse the anger and get the edge off. Shooting the shit out of the targets and feeling the explosion in your hand was great and when I was capable of doing so I would go in to the gym and beat on the punching bag. I was finding the gym to have many different purposes, not only was it to work out or rehab injuries, but it also helped to keep my mind safe and Stephs and my relationship safe, all my relationships really. By pounding on the bag, I wouldn't blow up and hurt the one that I loved or those that I cared about.

Even though Stephanie didn't have any of the physical work to do like I had, her treatment was just as hard as mine. Not only did she meet with Hartly a few days a week, she also supported and helped me through learning what to do when I was frustrated or pissed. Steph always stayed busy in other areas as well, she went back and began working part time up on five and Rodriguez was really relentless in sending her files to work on. Steph began to do really well, after a few weeks the medicine she was on started to kick in and she felt a lot better. She was worried that she would have some bad side affects or that it wouldn't work at all, but Dr, Brandons was on the money by giving it to her, because nothing bad has happened and Steph has begun to find her groove.

Some of Stephs therapy sessions were brutal when Hartly talked about my attack. She always wanted me to go with her and I never said no, she supports me and I support her. When she had a difficult session she came out drained and quiet, on those days we went home to my place, crawled into bed, held each other, and made love to reconnect and to just know that each of us were ok and we were there.

The last few weeks were good; we both were getting back to a sense of normal. We still had our days, but into every persons life and little rain must fall. We still stumbled, but now we know how to get past it and move forward.

"Come here" Steph said and I looked to find her gone from my side. When I looked around for her I saw her standing on the concrete slab in front of the warehouse door.

"I was thinking" she said sliding her hands up my chest and putting them around my neck "That this spot is where all the bad stuff happened"

"Yea, but it did have a hand in bringing us together" I said putting a positive spin on something that changed a lot of different things in my life.

"CAL!" she warned

"Ok" I laughed

"I was thinking that this is the spot that everything happened and I wanted to change the memory of it and make it a happy thought from now on" she said leaning up and kissing me officially closing this chapter of my life.

"HEY" we heard and then a loud honk of a horn "We gotta go, you know how Ranger is about being on time for stakeouts and take downs" Hal called to us from his truck

"OK" I yelled back and then turned back to Steph

"Gotta go" I told her

"I know"

"You ok going back to Haywood?" I asked as we walked hand in hand back to our truck

"Yep" she told me handing me my utility belt that was in the back seat

"Ok" I said snapping it around my waist

"Proud of you and love you" she said giving me my gun. I placed it at my back and kissed her

"Love you and thank you for changing my memories"

"Anytime, come back in one piece" she said climbing into the driver's seat

"Will try" I told her as I watched her back out and drive down the road

"Ready to roll?" I asked Hal who was leaning against the truck

"Yep" he said tossing the keys. I caught them from the air and grinned, I was back.

THE END!

A/N- Thank you all so much for your reviews and support for this story. I am deeply humbled by the love you give me. I hope you all enjoyed my story with Cal and enjoyed the journey he and Steph took to get back to health. It was a fun story to write and I loved each minute of it.

Look for a new story coming soon called East vs. West. It a multiple Char story with a new Char thrown in the mix. I hope you will all come along with me on that journey when I start to post it.

Again thank you very much for all your support and kind words!

God Bless,

Karren


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